Supermom of 3

Sometimes the ache is just to great.

2011-12-28T07:55:00.000-08:00

For the last 3 years I have been battling the hole in my heart that I feel is growing to epic proportions. You know the book the never ending story and the nothingness that was over taking the land? Well my nothingness actually has a name its called a baby. Seven years ago directly after the birth of our son Nicholas Brian underwent a vasectomy to ensure that we would not have anymore children. At that time it was the right decision for us to make. I had been diagnosed with a heart condition that makes me high risk for blood clots so birth control on my end was dangerous. Trying the "protection" method was something I really wasn't into to be honest. We really didn't have the money to be spending on those so how could we afford another baby, that left us with one choice...Permanent Sterilization. Looking back now that we are older (at the time I was 25 and Brian was 24) I realize it was the biggest mistake we could ever make but was still the right decision at the time. Does that even make sense?

We are raising our children that in life you make choices so think them through before you make them because the consequence of the action is one you will live with forever. Oh how I am eating my words now. I never realized that ache in my heart for another child would have grown as great as it has. Our youngest is 7 and the oldest almost 12 but the ache is growing more and more each day. Seeing the "Were Pregnant" posts on Facebook or the fresh from the delivery room pictures of those sweet warm little buddies of love breaks me. I at one point realizing the only way we could get pregnant was through IVF I considered donating my eggs to help with the cost of IVF. I was quickly told by a friend I was selfish and that me having 3 children of my own I should be happy because of the 1000's of women out there who want just one but our childless. I was so unbelievably hurt by that comment how is wanting a child selfish? How is enjoying the tiny toes, the milestone moments, watching a baby take the first steps, then watching them step onto a bus for school selfish? One woman's want for a child is no greater than another regardless of how many they have or don't have.

Brian and I considered adoption but to be honest the process is long and grueling and in the US they always want the children placed with the birth parents and finding birth parents willing to just let the baby go is alot harder considering those 1000's of women who are childless and to be honest with a lottery system like that my selfishness is none existent. I ccouldn't stand in a room with 1000's of women and have that needle in a haystack birth mother pick me over them to adoptive their baby I would want them to have the child not me. International adoption is to risky and expensive. You can dish out thousands of dollars and have them ask for more and you not receive the child. I know of a friend who went into another country to adopt and 3 months later was still there waiting on conflicts to be resolved but refused to leave without her child. Unfortunately I don't have that flexibility. In talking with another friend who had a friend that went to Russia and tried to adopt and after spending thousands of dollars on the process they went for the final stay to complete the adoption process and when they went to the court to be appointed the court asked for 10,000 more dollars which they didn't have and they left the country childless...I cant go through that.

Last October while at church talking with some of the ladies who were pregnant I told then how bad I wanted another baby. When I explained the vasectomy and how we didn't have the money to have it reversed one of the ladies spoke up and said a friend of hers knew of a Dr who knew how to get vasectomy reversals done through insurance. I was shocked to hear this news and asked for her to get me some information on this Dr. Well during a girls night out with a few of the same ladies she was able to get me the Dr's name and I called and scheduled an appointment immediately I was relieved and felt excited about this for the first time in a long time all by simply asking...How much is your consultation fee? They responded with 100.00. All the other Dr's I called was 500.00-750.00 just for a consultation! I scheduled the appointment and that will be sometime in January. Here is the kick to the gut I got last night. Brian has been having alot of issues with his shoulder and been in excruciating pain. He finally goes to the Dr they schedule all this stuff and put him on anti inflammatory drugs and then when it all failed to stop his pain the Dr orders him a MRI. Well Brian received a phone call last night that our insurance is denying him the right to a MRI because it doesn't seem necessary?? The man had been in constant pain but a non doctor in a office doesn't feel its necessary. They want him reevaluated and more claims sent in to be determined if its medically necessary. If the insurance company wont pay for a MRI........How will they agree to a surgery to fix a mistake made so long ago? Wall after Wall after Wall.......no windows, no doors, only a open ceiling and a soft floor for me to hit my knees and look to the heavens. In HIS time and HIS way if HE feels I am worthy enough will he make the path to stop my aching either go away or be filled. Oh how my Patience is being tested and to be honest I feel I am failing miserably!

Mommy Common sense! MUST READ!

2011-11-15T12:49:00.001-08:00

Sorry its been a while since I blogged but between church, soccer, college, and work I just don't have the time. But, I felt this was important.

As I have worked with children, have children and have friends with children I have come to know most childhood illnesses from hives, lice, allergic reactions, yeast infection diaper rashes to hand foot and mouth, croup, asthma and pneumonia. I am NOT qualified nor do I have a medical degree but what I do have is mommy common sense and the contact with each diagnoses to back it up. I DO NOT Google because well.......who has ever parent googled and been listed with a bunch of nonsense diagnoses that all point to a life threatening diagnoses by WebMD I know I have. Well here is where technology failed me 11 years ago.

11 years ago Brianna was born she was a average baby and for the most part VERY healthy she had one huge problem.....Chronic Ear Infections. I felt like we were in the doctors every other week when one antibiotic ended the other ear would get infected. The cycle was brutal on us as well as her. You know those middle of the night howlings and screaming followed by you as a mother in fetal position PRAYING for 20 minutes of sleep before the howling and screaming began again! Ya I know you know! Well I was 20 years old and I trusted my pediatrician to do right by my child. They do hold a degree and for Gods sake they are DOCTORS! Classic ear infection no problem right....she didnt have a mysterious rash or random fevers of no cause or origin she had ear infections. We also 11 years ago didnt have Facebook or Myspace or Twitter and to be honest I didnt have ANY friends with kids so information came straight from the doctor. Where am I going with the computer stuff this is where....When we post our Facebook status about our children or our day or what we are making for dinner we get feedback from other people. If I had posted "Up all night with Brianna again pretty sure we are on ear infection 13246543216543541" I would have atleast gotten a friend or family member to say....Hey my child had that same problem and had tubes put in their ears you should call Dr so and so they did my kids and BAM no ear infections...Well this never happened for me and this is the result.

We have switched pediatrician since the first whack job let me just give you a antibiotic regardless of the strains of infections that are mutating up immunities to these said antibiotics and mommy will just feel better. Im not a mommy who needs to feel better jack ass a mommy who wants my child better and will ONLY give those said antibiotics if a BACTERIA or INFECTION is present NOT because you think I need to feel better about pumping my kid full of unnecessary antibiotics!

During those ear infection battles we discovered that Brianna was allergic to Amoxicillan and Ceftasporin antibiotics and she was from then on out given Zitromax. It did work but she lived on it.....and my doctor never suggested tubes in her ears. He also just treated Shailyn for chronic croup, bronchitis, CONSTANT wheezing and hospitalized Strep A bacterial pneumonia with out ever considering it was being caused by weak lungs due to ASTHMA! This same doctor also NEVER diagnosed Nic with his Low Growth Hormone levels that caused him to all of a sudden stop growing at 2 years old....that took me fighting for a referral to Georgetown Hospital Endocrinology after he was 4 years old and STILL in a 2T. That was enough for me to FREAK OUT! We left the practice and since have found a GREAT pediatrician and are very happy with the care we receive! Brianna has had a huge bought with strep throat and he referred us to ENT. We met with ENT Dr today who said that Brianna was going to definitely need her tonsils out she has pitted tonsils that grab and hold bacteria in the little pockets of those pits and it would just get worse and not get better. While she was talking to us about her history and drug allergies she was looking Brianna over and as she looked in her ears I told her about the chronic ear infections and how she lived on one antibiotic for 2 years of her life and she said.....St Marys pediatrician.....I said YUP, she still looking in Briannas ears....start with a S and end in a TH I said no but close La......feer. She said.....she needed tubes!!!! I can see the struggle in her ears.....she has some pretty bad scarring on her ear drums due to that struggle!!!! I must have looked dumbfounded because she sat down and said that doctors don't seem to want to refer kids to specialists to fix the problems. I know I disliked that doctor but now I am FURIOUS! my child has SCARS on her EAR DRUMS due to his lack of concern and his antibiotic pushing self! She then informed me that the pediatricians were treating kids with fluid in their ears with antibiotics this is when that common sense comes into play.....Antibiotics are to treat infections and bacteria NOT fluid in the ears.....fluid need to be drained NOT given a antibiotic for it.

What I am trying to say pretty much is listen if parents had to take a infectious control class before becoming parents they wouldn't be so apt to just take a antibiotic from the doctor and give it to a child based on a VIRUS ANTIBIOTICS DONT CURE VIRUSES. I can honestly say that I threw away 75% of the prescriptions for my kids when the doctor handed them to me after telling me my child had a virus. by the time Brianna is my age she may not have a antibiotic she can take to cure a common sinus infection because her doctor let her live on Zithromax instead of referring to a specialist. If your child had a reoccurring illness over and over and over again see a specialist! Dont wait till your child has permanent damage and you live with the guilt of that. She will need hearing aids long before old age when our hearing starts to go...hers will go quicker because she is so scarred up. Just use mommy common sense.

That backfired only slightly!

2011-09-22T10:28:00.000-07:00

On Sunday Brianna had a soccer game, on the way to our church picnic that was before her game Brianna told me she often feels nervous before her games. I asked her what does she do when she feels nervous she replied "nothing", I laughed and said "What should you do?". She sat there for a minute and then said "Well I guess I could pray?"

Im trying to make sure that my children know that every problem they have in life can be lifted up in prayer and the Lord will help them make since of it. I told Brianna that prayer sounded like a great idea! I told her that most football games, or baseball games are started in the locker rooms with prayer. She looked slightly puzzled by this. She then looks at me and said "Well what do I pray for???"

I had to actually think about that for a minute What do you pray for before a sporting event? So I sat there and then said "Well first Thank God for the blessing of be able to play something you love so much, ask for strength to endure the sport, ask for the wisdom to make good judgement, ask for the knowledge to make good plays, watch over and protect the players of the game to keep them safe and free from injury and most importantly ask God to bless you with encouraging words to say to your teammates as well as your opponets. She looked at me and smiled and say AWESOME Thanks Mom! That made me smile!

Well the game was going full force and those girls we fighting each other tooth and nail for the ball. It was a hard game being played by both teams. I starting noticing that the girl on the opposing team #5 was not playing very fair and who was she covering...BRIANNA! I am very vocal on the sidelines (Go figure right) well #5 kept throwing her arm up across Briannas chest when she was trying to go around her to block her...In case you don't know soccer, that is not allowed you can use your whole body or arm at a angle but not straight across the chest...The ref was calling NOTHING! We all love when that happens dont we! I had an INCREDIBLE since of yelling raging inside my body. My insides were screaming to yell "KEEP IT UP #5 IM WATCHING YOU" I walked up and down the sidelines briskly and my heart was racing and I realized...This soccer mom stuff is tough buisness! I prayed for calming...didnt happen LOL. Well forth quarter we were up 1-0 and the opposing team was NOT happy about that. The gloves were coming off at this point. Brianna is a Midfeilder and had already had two oppurtunities to score and either missed the net or didnt pull the trigger and she was down on the other side of the feild opposite of the goal they score into. She was able to get the ball and was running..I MEAN RUNNING! Like Forrest Gump running with the ball dribbling really fast probably the fastest I had ever seen her dribble the ball down field!! Then guess what HERE COMES #5 with a quick TRIP!!!! I watched my daughter CHEST plant in the middle of the feild!! I mean like CHEST first and her feet flipped up almost touching the back of her head with her arms CRUMPLED under her! My heart stopped! Then she got up and took off down the feild!!! I was astonished! The ref NEVER called the Penalty!

As she kept playing I noticed she was holding her arm and opening and closing her hand and favoring it ALOT. I yelled out CRUSH and when she looked my way I gave her a thumbs up she signaled back WITH THE OTHER ARM and thumbs up. We were nearing the end of the game and her coach switched out the line....never pulling Brianna....She played till the end. As she ran up and down the feild again coming SUPER close to scoring I could see the swelling in her arm. At the end of the game her team won they held them to the 1-0 lead. When she made it to the sidelines I asked if she was okay she said NO. I looked at her arm and it was swollen I could have sworn it was broke. She was able to move it and she decided she didnt want to go the ER she was fine. I respected her decision and she came home and went to Awana.

Later that night she came to me and said "You know Mom I did what you said and I prayed before the game and asked for Gods protection for my teammates and I got hurt???" Why would he let me get hurt?? My response was "Well was your arm broken?" She replied No I said right Gods gonna let you fall and maybe even scrape your knees alittle but understand one thing....He will always PICK YOU UP! Did you get up? She said Yes, I said right and did you finish your game? she said Well yeah....I said Right! He gave you the protection you asked for and the strenght and the wisdom to make decisions that didnt involve retaliation and that can also fit into encouragement...Think about how your teammates may have felt after they watched you fall HARD onto the ground and even with your arm aching you got up and you CONTINUED your game. That Babygirl was God.....

My ideal marriage...With the help of my Faith.

2011-09-19T05:05:00.001-07:00

As much of us are very well aware fairy tales dont exist. The Knight in shining armour is never gonna whisk you up and carry you off into the sunset or to the top of a tower overlooking a gorgeous kingdom. This was a hard concept for me to come to. I always wanted that TV show marriage not King of Queens but the Leave it to Beaver one. I had such a hard life as a child, my parents didnt show me the picture perfect version of a marriage. I set up unrealistic expectations of what a marriage was and then expected my husband to live up to those standards based soley on what I wanted and didn't want from what I saw in my parents marriage. I then realized that the only knight in shining armour to come swoop me up and take to my tower over looking the kingdom was Jesus Christ when he comes back. My happily ever after starts then and only then not while I am here.

Friends around us are divorcing left and right and believe me when I say my marriage has been on the battlefield more than I care to admit and on countless times almost collapsed to a ashy pile of smoky dust at the front lines of that battlefield. I have recently decided to pray about what my marriage was meant to be by Gods standards and not the standards of Disney Princess lives. This is my new standard and what I want in my marriage and what God intended our marriage to be.

1. I will and I want my husband to have patience. Fights occur when patiece is lost....

2. I will not easily anger....see #1 :) I will go to prayer before I speak. Only words to lift my husband not words to discourage him.

3. I will chose to be kind in all things. How I speak, my ACTIONS (equally as important then my words)

4. I will make it a point to kiss my husband when he walks in the door to show him that I missed him while he was gone and how THANKFUL I am the Lord brough him home each and every day!

5. My only addiction......My husband. Good bye facebook.

6. I will pray with my husband and become submissive in the way of religion. I will submit to his leadership in our faith.

7. I want to work as a team together holding hands facing down the darker paths of life with the Light of the Lords Glory shining on us. Through Christ who gives us strentgh those dark paths will be lite through him.

8. I want a relationship full of mutual respect.

9. I want to rely on my husband for help. Teamwork. Always be his equal.

10. Most impotantly I want a marriage filled with all the blessing the Lord has bestowed upon us...with that being said Grace and Forgiveness.

I think as I am mom I am doing alright!

2011-06-02T10:52:00.001-07:00

I got a phone call last week from a organization called Amvets (American Veterans) I think its like purple heart. They collect donations from local residents. They asked if I had any clothing or houseware stuff I would like to donate of course I always have clothes from the kids. I told them I did and looked forward to them coming to get them. When I got off the phone Brianna asked me who I was talking to and I told her it was a organization who collects things to give to needy families. About a hour later she came back and said..."Do they take flip flops?" I said I am sure they do. Well the next day I was busy doing laundry and cleaning up the hallway upstairs when I came across a Old navy bag with some clothes in it. I assumed they were from a over night trip one of the girls had last weekend. I pulled out a hoodie and a pair of pants and flip flops as I looked at them I realized it was Briannas flip flops she had asked about and then I realized she had packed a bag to give to Amvets. I attempted to put the clothes back in the bag when I felt something in the pocket, I reached in and found two folded up pieces of paper. On those papers found this.....

It reads in case you cant see it

Dear reader,
I hope you enjoy this nice jacket and it keeps you cozy, Also I hope this jacket can be of use. I wish you the best of luck with the days to come!

Love, Brianna
<3

P.S. I hope you like this drawing just for you!

And here is the drawing

I stood in shock and then that moment was followed by proud. I am sure no one will ever see this letter but I cant help but to feel like Brianna went to bed with a happy thought that night and I know I went to bed with a feeling of....I may not be perfect, I make mistakes, I often screw up but I am raising some pretty great kids and I am happy with that!

Just a random act of kindness....if only the whole world joined in.

2011-05-26T04:50:00.000-07:00

Saturday was a typical Saturday in the Supermom household. I took the girls to church for the Mother/Daughter breakfast. After I came home and cleaned up some then we rolled out to where else....the soccer field! Shay had a game followed by Nics but there was a hour break between games and I was STARVING! I asked Brian to take me to Subway so I could grab a sub. Nic and I went inside apparently he was hungry to. Well I noticed the man in front of me, he was a older gentlemen. He was ordering his sub....just a sub 6 inch sub to be exact. I took a mental note of the girl taking the order and noticed she seemed flustered. I wasn't sure if it was a "this customer is getting on my nerves" or the "I am the only worker and the line is building" flustered. Then I noticed she was intently looking at the gentlemen who I then noticed had that sound when he talked...that muffled not producing sound just more or less that round about sound..I don't know how to describe it...he was deaf. Now I knew what kind of flustered the sub maker was...with the customer. Well this kind of annoyed me a bit...you work with the general public and this gentlemen was deaf. He could not help that he couldn't hear and my bad you have to listen intently when he speaks and take note of where he is pointing! This got under my skin a bit but I just stood there kind of dumbfounded. I was watching this gentlemen trying so hard to communicate with the worker and her frustration was growing and to be honest I wanted to help but I don't know sign language I couldn't help! As I stood there I noticed the gentleman's clothes. They were slightly dirty and looked worn and his shoes had a hole in the toe, his shirt had a few holes...and he looked a little unkept. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of silent world he was living in. After the sub was done and the worker took him to the register he reached deep down in his pocket and started counting change...now the worker was really frustrated and I stood there praying for the right way to handle this....God answered me....

Smile and pay for this gentleman's food.

(worker is standing with that I am annoyed look and the gentlemen counting dimes)

I stood there for a minute trying to process what I was hearing and I heard it louder

SMILE AND PAY FOR THIS GENTLEMAN'S FOOD SHANNON!!

This time I heard my actual name....God was SERRRIOUS!

So I looked at Nic standing my the order here sign and said Stay here!

I walked up to register and I smiled at the worker and I said. Here take my card I got his meal.

She looked at me and said Do you know him??

I smiled and said No why do I need to know him to pay for his food?

She laughed and said NO but random strangers don't just pay for random peoples food! I smiled (like God said) and replied...they should! If more people showed more random acts of kindness and humanity towards strangers the world would be a much better place.

Then I lightly touched the gentleman's arm to get his attention...he looked up at me and there was a genuine sincerity in his eyes and I smiled and showed him the receipt and motioned..I got it for you!

He looked shocked and then he smiled and Thanked me.....50 times! He smiled and my heart was warmed. Then he shook my hand and bowed down to me I guess to show me how much he appreciated what I had done. I smiled really BIG and kept saying your welcome enjoy! He walked out turning to me bowing down and trying to say thank you thank you thank you.....

After he left I took my spot in the line and then I noticed the WHOLE demeanor of every witness in Subway had changed! The worker smiled at me and said "You are one special women...I have never seen anyone just pay for a strangers food". I smiled and said.."Well next time you go to a fast food restaurant....pay for the car behind you, then go to a sit down restaurant pick a random family and pay for them, God will reward those who serve him and others. Soon you can pay for the groceries to a family in front of you.

The point is, we are all quick to judge and get annoyed or think to much about random acts of kindness. If you hear that voice in your head its God follow him and his sayings I can promise he wont steer you wrong. You never know what the family in front of you at the grocery store went through to get there or to get the money to pay for it. She may have chosen to not pay her car payment because her kids were hungry or maybe they just lost their job and that was all the money they had and are praying for Gods help with the finances you just may be that answered prayer.

The best of this story. Nic said Mommy, Did you buy that mans food? That was very nice of you. Can I buy someone food with my Christmas money? I turned to him and I said Of course you can! We can donate it to the food pantry at church. That way your food could feed a few people in need! I have now started my 6 year old on the right path of kindness!

My husband will fight burglers naked....be warned!

2011-05-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

Early this morning I rolled over and I remember this and I happened to hit my pillows the right way and I remember saying to myself...This is the MOST comfortable I had ever been and then boom DEEP SLEEP! Ever had one of those? Well not to much longer I was awakened by the sound of my house alarm! Brian has set it off pretty much every morning so I laid there in bed listening for the profanities and the THUD/THUMPS of the mad dash to turn it off......NOTHING......So I opened my eyes to see the light under the bathroom door. Brian was NOT leaving he was in the bathroom..Now the panic pretty much set in! I JUMPED up ran to the panel in my bedroom....all it said was ALARM ZONE 19??? What the heck was zone 19....so I listened our alarm talks on the main level. We opted for the talking alarm because my kids are sneaky and it shouts what has been opened. Example : BEEP BEEP BEEP...Fault Basement Door open.....I catch a kid sneaking outside through the basement! So anyway back to panic mode.....I then crept over to the bedroom door and I heard....(This scared the HELL out of me) ALARM DO DO DO DO Dining room WINDOW!!! What the......window......window....WINDOW!!! Someone is trying to break in....who comes in a window??? So now I haven't even called to Brian he is still in the bathroom....I start to sneak down the steps to get a view of the dining room windows. I didn't have to creep far to see them, so I look and NOTHING...its not opened, the screens are intact and not removed or ripped. So I calm down and then I turned, MIND YOU I am about 3 steps down, I turn to return to bed and let ADT know we are not being burglarized and I turn righ smack into.....MY HUSBAND MANHOOD! Of course I JUMPED Brian had apparently heard the alarm while attempting to get in the shower and came out behind me NAKED! I yelled at him..BRIAN YOUR NAKED!! He said I know but do you think if someone is breaking in my house I am worried about my clothes! I said well I bet they will....He said perfect way to scare them off...This still confuses me....So Thank you ADT for showing me that my husband will fight burglers either clothed or naked.....and Thank you for apparently going off for NO REASON and disturbing my Steller drooling on my pillow sleep...

Mary mother of God: The original Supermom!

2011-05-04T06:48:00.000-07:00

So my husband is gone (for work for a month been 2 weeks already) and I am feeling overwhelmed and stressed but have been finding moments of solitude and profound statements in the best place ever.....MY BIBLE! Who'd a thunk it right? :) Well upon reading Mark (my husband is a new bible reader YAY and he is reading it so I want to be on the up and up when he asks questions or forms a discussion) and in this book is some of the stories of Jesus during his time of human form here in earth. For those who aren't aware of his healing, and dealings, and miraculous work..read it its awesome ;) Well it sparked a conversation between my soul sister Sarah and I she being a fellow Christian whom I can go to with anything and she can find it usually instantly, sometimes it takes a little work but together we figure it out. I made the statement that how awesome it would have been to be alive in those times to see Jesus work in lives of people face to face or to see his footstep on the ground or to just be in the presence of him. We see him work in his spirit form and by our faith in him but I would have LOVED to see him work in the ways I have read. Well as that conversation progressed (about 2 hours of time) we moved from there and we were talking about Herod because I was seeing his name alot and then we proceeded to talk of his antics and his plot to massacre all baby boys under the Age of 2. Well this started a deeper mommy message about Mary herself.

Mary, the mother of the Son of God. That name carries such a deep meaning. Here is this young mother who gives birth to a baby boy not just any baby boy but the Son of God!! Then shortly after his birth Mary was informed that she had to flee Bethlehem with the baby to escape the King (Hebron) who ordered the death of all baby boys under the age of two! Put yourself in Mary's shoes as a mother...we all protect our children and would lay our lives down for them but she is the mother of the Messiah.
Mary fled the town and took the baby to Isreal where he would be safe. The protector of the Messiah is what she is in my definition...Supermom! Could you imagine the fear and anxiety and the mental anguish she must have felt. Her babies life was in danger! Ultimately his life was always in danger...not exactly danger but it was prophesied of what would become of him. Mary the devoted mother was with her son through all his suffering. women lose children due to other circumstance but usually not at any control of her own anyway BUT mary gave birth to a child and raised him knowing what would happen to him. How can you enjoy the time you have with your child knowing around the tender age of 33 years you would watch him be sacraficed for us. GRANTED, he did this for us and to carry the weight of all sins of the hman world and again ultimately to set us free but still being a mother I cant help but weep for her as well as him.

When Jesus was arrested and taken into custody and sentenced to the flogging and the torture where was Mary? I will tell you....with her son! She stayed with the crowds of people and she watched her son bear the most unbearable of all things. I know when B corrects our children I sometimes get that momma lion instinct and I want to step in. Place yourself in her shoes again....Could you as a mother watch what he went through on one of your own children? She walked along side him as he carried his cross all while still being beaten and harrased and mocked and she went to the top of that mountain and then again was there and watched as her son was crucified!! I cant help but feel very torn by her decision to watch what was done. I have trouble watching my children get vaccinations I could not even bear the thought of enduring the things that she did. I do have one thing to say about Jesus in this time in all his anguish and pain he thought of his mother and as he saw her during the crucifiction he made time for her and cared enough for her to appoint a disciple to care for her~~

John 19:26-27 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman,here is your son,” 27 and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.

I guess where I am going with this is I will never so much as dare to complain about motherhood or the trails and tribulatons of having a child when I will never experience and have to deal with what Mary did. I will always reflect on what she experienced and use it as my own life lesson. As you enjoy the presence of your children this Sunday Mothers day take to time to reflect and pray for what it could have been.

I love how literal kids are!

2011-04-22T09:57:00.001-07:00

SCENE: Lining up with the bags full of eggs all the daycare kids found on the Easter egg hunt.

SM: Everyone line up so Ms. Supermom can take a picture!
(pause)

SM: Okay dont hold the bags in front of you face....put them on your belly button.

DV:(2yr old in my daycare) ***Lifting up his shirt.....and puts the bag on his belly button.

SM: GREAT WAY TO FOLLOW DIRECTIONS DV Good Job!

Happy Easter folks!!!

WINNING! Never had a doubt I wouldn't be!

2011-04-14T09:56:00.000-07:00

Just to start this off I wanted to say this not yelling thing is totally Rocking the Supermom house! Our attitudes are better and everyone is getting along and the over all atmosphere.....FABULOUS! I cant say enough how this is such a POSITIVE thing for us. Funny the kids are testing my patience level but I think by the shear strength in God....I'm doing this and doing this succesfully!

Test #1

Sunday night was night 2 of the no yelling. B and I talked to the kids and explained the new rules. At the time they asked what the punishment would be I said I am not sure yet guess we will figure it out. We discussed how much better it would be if we didn't yell and they agreed that mommy and daddy yelling at them or at each other is not how they want to live. To be honest neither do I. Well that night Brianna I guess just forgot or was testing the theory. I was cleaning the floors and both girls were outside cleaning the guinea pig cage out together. Well I just happened by the window when I saw the look of aggravation on Briannas face and I could see her mouth and her body language and then I heard it.......her raised voice. In normal circumstances I would have walked outside and yelled at Brianna. Instead I walked out side and I just looked at her and I calmly said....What did you just do wrong? Brianna immediately looked down at the ground and said....I just disrespected my sister. I said yup (and this is where my praying came into play because this doesnt even sound like me) "For every act of disrepect you need to repay with a act of kindness".......Go clean your sisters room. She was not to happy about this. My middle tornando daughter has horder tendancies....and Brianna...OCD...The room looked WORSE when Brianna got in there....But 3 hours later when she surfaced with a bag of trash and dust pan of stuff she swept up....She said...I dont think I will ever yell at her again....her room is to much of a mess!

KIDS-0
SUPERMOM-1

WINNING!

TEST 2

Last night was a crazy night B was at the Hockey game and I had the kids and we were rushing as always..Shay had soccer 6-7 and we have church play rehearsal from 7-well last night was late! 10:30ish when I got home. Anyway, after I dropped Shay off at practice I ran to Burger King for the Bag O Obesity but I didnt have time to cook with the daycare closing not till 5. When we got back to the soccer feild it was 6:45 and there was only 15 minutes left and I needed to get something from the coaches wife. I asked Brianna and Nic to stay in the car and eat because we had to book it to church play starts at 7 soccer ends at 7.....you see where I am going with this.
Well I got what I needed and turned around and there was Brianna running down the feild with her soccer ball....Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. She DELIBERATLY DISOBEYED ME! I was none to happy! Again the Grace of God and his need to help us when we need him and everytime I pray I ask for help with this challenge. I sat back and watched her enjoy her last few minutes of Freedom. When practice was over and was I rushing to get everyone strapped in I looked at Brianna and said WOW! She looked at me like...OH CRAP! I said in my normal talking voice....

SM: What did I ask you to do?
Bri: Stay in the car.
SM: What did you do?
Bri: I got out of the car.
SM: is that what I asked you to do?
Bri: No, but I didnt want to sit in the car!
SM: But I asked you to stay in the car so we wouldnt be to late and now I have to wait for you, Shay and Nic to strap in....and your in Act 1 the FIRST scene...you better hope we dont get there and you miss your scene. PLUS you DELIBERATLY disobeyed me and that my friend gets you punished.
Bri:.......silence..........

After sitting in church and thinking about it...I told her her punishment is her chores and then some! That is she wanted to spend the night with her best friend then she needed to pay me back for the disrepect. Well this morning she brought me this so I guess she know she did wrong and prepared for what she is to do to fix it.

Dont you LOVE the sad face! Oh and dont judge me on my feather pen! So what should i put on this list and should I stop at 5???? :)

KIDS-0
SUPERMOM-2

Still WINNING!

Runaway dog, peeing in a bottle, thats how I roll!

2011-04-12T08:21:00.000-07:00

So last night I had to get 2 of my dogs over to a Rabies Clinic. We had a schedule conflict with soccer of course so I had to do this by myself, well with help from Shay and Nic, so by myself! I put the muzzle on Roscoe cause he is a nasty little devil to strangers and put the leash on Zoe. We arrive and the line is out the door I thought it started at 5 apparently it wasnt till 6 but no big I let Shay and Nic sit in the car with Roscoe. Nic unstraps and opens the sun roof and decided to stand out of it and yell HA HA MOM LOOK AT ME! I calmly walk over and tell him if I catch him doing it again I will personally tie him to his booster seat. Zoe the barkaholic proved even more how much I hate the sound of a dog barking by being a balistic little brat! They finally start the registration process. I walk in get out my old paperwork and get the new and get in line and guess what...the vet is late. Well now I am worried about Nic, Shay and Roscoe in the car and decide to make a brave yet stupid decision that I can manage 2 kids and 2 dogs all by myself...I mean I am Supermom and all this is a piece of cake! HA!!...Wrong!

Nic and Shay come inside the building and I am holding Roscoe and my purse and Zoe's leash. I looked at Shay and said do you think you can help my by holding Zoe? She said yeah and I handed her the leash. I watched closely as Zoe kinda barked and walked in circles for a minute and I watched her bratty little eyes comptemplate her escape. The second I looked away at Nic Zoe succesfully completed her escape when I turned back around to look at her she had wrapped the leash around Shays body...As I said NO NO NO Shay get the leash from around you it happened...the flippin dog pulled her head out of the collar with the help of Shays body as tension and like a bolt of lightning she was GONE! Nic starts SCREAMING AND CRYING ZOE NO ZOE NO ZOOOOOOOOEEEE!!!!!! MOMMY ZOOOOOOEEEEEE!!! Well as Zoe bolts out the door all the dogs ahead of us in line start barking and jumping the owners are annoyed and I am just standing there with the look of REALLY??? Zoe out the door, Nic screaming behind her, and right behind Nic...Shay! So now I guess I have to go chase the dog. So as I got closer to Shay and Nic I said STOP CHASING HER! I grabbed the keys from Shay and opened the doors on the van and yelled Come on Zoe Girl Lets go for a Ride and she ran over and jumped in the van! Mission Completion! Operation save Zoe was complete! Now to calm down Nic who was still crying and upset!

I tighten up the collar on Zoe. If she wants to escape she needs to snap her head off! We come back inside to all the people who were pointing and whispering, well atleast thats what I felt like they were doing and took my place back in line. As we stood in line Nic announces really LOUD "Mommy I need to Pee" I looked around and said sorry dude you have to wait there is nowhere for you to go! He then loudly announces well there is a bottle in the car I can go pee in that! My now being labeled as the women with the runaway trouble maker dog and the mom who allows her kid to pee in a bottle! But you now the beauty of a boy is it fits in the bottle and there is no mess! So I just as loud so NO Nic you cant go pee in the bottle I told you not to drink an entire soda driving here your gonna have to hold it. Shay then announces loudly..He is his fathers son! I said no he isnt Shay what are you taling about! She relpies "Daddy pees in bottles" I looked at her like I was gonna kill her and I said NO HE DOESNT SHAY??? She said uh huh thats what Grandma said! Yup were are the crazy family! Judgements were flying past my head at rapid speeds and looks of disgust we right behind them! Now Im just like give my dog the shot so I can BOLT from this place!

Shot are done and we are out! I start driving with my anxiety flaring and I totally forget that Nic has to pee!I call my friend Sarah to share in my excitement of the evening and porr Nic. Well he is now bouncing and holding himself as I drive so I pull into Wawa...This insanity is beyond my control I have the dogs in the car and I cant go inside for fear they will escape....

I tell Nic he can pee in the bottle. He looks for the bottle as he pulls down his pants, he cant find the bottle. I say Shay stay in the car with the dogs Nic come on lets go inside he cries i cant hold it mom!!! Nic pulls up his pants and Shay jumps up from the back...FOUND THE BOTTLE....(OMG!!!! REALLY) Nic pulls back down his pants and grabs the bottle...poor guy peed so much he half way filled it. Well I thought he was done apparently he wasnt. I removed the bottle and he peed on my hand and he laughed well can you figure what happens when a little boy is peeing AND laughing yes it squirted me and my seat and the floor! Im trying to contain myself from yelling and squealed in disgust but managed to get the bottle back on his weenis! He laughed hysterically! I found it not so funny! Well Iget out of the car after this ordeal is done and I hear Shay yelling at the dogs to stop licking up Nics pee...I grad the paper towel for the wind sheild and proceed to clean off my hand (my van door is broken when I sit in the drivers seat the back door opens) I sit in the seat and the door opens and Roscoe jumps out AT WAWA in St Marys I scream ROSCOE NO! I jump out and Shay grabs Zoe and I managed to snag a back leg of Roscoe's and catch him. I get the dog back in the car and start to pump my gas...DID I MENTION SARAH was still ON THE PHONE...who was actually not breathing from laughing at all the commotion on my end. Im glad my friends find the humor in a bad situation....Once I arrived home with both kids and both dogs...I left to get a pedicure....I needed it.

ScreamFree Parenting-Challenge.

2011-04-11T10:42:00.000-07:00

I think this book just might change my life. While Brian and I were in marriage counseling our counselor had admitted to us that she was reading this book and was thinking about starting a group for parents who wanted to try this approach to parenting. We told her to put us on her list for the group but I am guessing it hasn't reached that level yet. Well I am not waiting because some things need to change in my house.

One persons mood can change the whole atmosphere of your entire house and the mood of everyone in it. I am GUILTY as charged of this particular bad habit. Brian will come home in a great mood and he walks into the house and I am yelling at the kids and frustrated and just nasty! It may have been because my kids had plucked a string or my daycare kids plucked all my strings and broke them. (Daycare isn't always fun and games it can be very challenging!) Well then he gets in a tuffie....Then I get even more in a tiffie and then the kids start fighting its a CHAIN REACTION! Kids learn what they live is so true. They live in hostility they grow hostile. Or think about your kids who wake up grumpy and irritated. you try to talk to them and they are rude and nasty, you get angry with them and then your mood is ruined and then I get nasty with the hubby and he gets angry....HOSTILE! grrrrrrrrr

Quoting the book "Your number one leadership roll in the family is that of a calming authority." I am suppose to achieve this by first calming my self down, and grow myself up, and change how I parent. This is going to be very difficult, but not impossible. I have prayed about this (along with me filthy mouth!) for Gods help. I'm gonna need his strength and love to guide me on this one. Parenting is NOT about children, its about parents. "Screaming" is not going to show me how to destroy my relationships butshow me how to not do it and start forming a revolutionary relationship with each of my children and my husband. Did you know that just by changing how YOU parent can change the whole dynamic of your family! Being less reactive in a anxiety situation can make for a easier transition to discipline. Example:

This morning while getting ready for work I heard a series of Thuds and bangs and then the sound of Brianna letting out this OH crap cry. I ran down the steps with my heart RACING!! I knew it involved my steps and my child but also possibly my guinea pigs because I heard the bell ringing that's on the cage. The way Brianna was crying freaked me out and heard her mummer daycare floor. As I rounded the corner in my bathrobe I found Brianna on the landing where the steps curve to go down to the daycare and she was SOBBING and trembling...I jumped down the steps and quickly hugged her "DID YOU FALL DOWN THE STEPS ARE YOU OKAY" I said to her! She was trembling obviously shaken up...HORRIBLY! She said "NO I tripped with the guinea pigs trying to take them down the steps to the daycare and I knocked over the big thing of water and it FELLLLLLLLL I busted a HOLE in the WALL and water is EVERYWHERE on the Daycare floor!!!!!" In a normal circumstance I think,actually I know I would have yelled and said probably (I'm being totally honest here) HOW COULD YOU BE SO CLUMSY NEXT TIME ASK FOR HELP!!! WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO CARRY THE CAGE DOWNSTAIRS OR BETTER YET WHY DIDN'T YOU DO IT LAST NIGHT!!!!, (I'm an asshole parent trying to not be) Instead, I calmly hugged her and told her Thank God it wasn't you or the guinea pigs if you had fallen you could have broken a bone or if it was the guinea pigs it could have killed them! I am so very thankful that you are okay and this was a accident!Take a deep breath and calm down. Go get ready for school and I will clean this up but your okay and THIS IS FINE!

I felt like I needed to reassure her that it was OK. What got me was the reaction. Her trembling I think was her fear that she was gonna get "SCREAMED" at. Now I feel like a real asshole! I went upstairs to get dressed I am pretty sure my daycare parents didn't want to see me in a robe! I called Brian and then I told him how horrible I felt that Brianna had a reaction and how I think my YELLING scarred my children. I am more now than EVER trying to change this. Even after the drama of the morning the rest of the morning was good. Brianna's face of "How did mom not yell at me" stayed on her face all morning! I think I may have made her day and I think this by itself set my day in motion and I think it will be better family time if we all STOP SCREAMING!!!

I will try to post everyday this week about my progress and what I am learning! If anyone else wants in on the discussions let me know! Get the book and read along. Maybe we can offer advice to each other and help encourage each other. I'm looking forward to this new life and anxious to see how my kids turn out because of it.

Breastfeeding baby doll...Controversial....REALLY??? I say GENIOUS!

2011-03-30T06:20:00.001-07:00

So this morning was like any other morning minus my son puking, I always scroll through facebook Im and admitted addict. Well as I scrolled through I came across a status that read..."What is your opinion on the breast milk baby doll that is going to be released soon?" I looked at the comments and immediatly I was discouraged...there was comments like, Disqusting, disturbing, NO WAY, shouldnt happen....REALLY FOLKS. A society that doesnt believe in discipline or actual family time anymore is scared of a doll they dont have to purchase! Before I get any further in this I will admit I HAVE BREASTFEEDING ENVY!!! I wanted to breastfeed my babies SO BAD but for me it was not possible. Good thing I wasn't alive when it was the only choice becuase my babies would have died. I am VERY pro breastfeeding. I think if you can do it....you rock. So why is this doll such a controversy? Why is a society thet says "fuck" as every other word in front of there kids (Guilty but learning to watch my mouth) or smoke and drink (also guilty although almost one year smoke free) so scared of a baby doll....I will post the video at the end so you can comment your thoughts.

I have a TON of breastfeeding parents as friends they have more than one kid and my best friend is one of them. She has 5 kids and breastfed all of them till a year or more. When she had her third child she had a daughter who was about 2-3yrs old. EVERYTIME she breastfed the baby her daughter would grab a doll and shove it up her shirt and say "Look Mommy I can feed my baby to!" So why not have a handy doll to provide her with the same maternal instincts as you? We as Mothers teach our children how to mother, how to nuture, and care for a baby. They sell strollers and diaper bags, and changing tables, and baby dolls that poop and pee why not babies that breastfeed? Children emulate adults and if we provide them with adult style toys anyway BARBIE prime example or the horrid BRAT dolls that have linguire on why not a adult behavior such as breastfeeding! Go to youtube and watch the 100's of videos parents posted of thier children pretending to breastfeed and burp baby dolls. You have a choice to buy it or not....they arent shipping them out to every child in america and for goodness sakes I am pretty sure they will only be available online and if not then what is so wrong here people?? Society need to be more concerned with how these non nurtured children are turning out! not fussing about a baby doll they dont have to give to their child!

I hate to say this is a controversy but it is. Parents are freaking out about this doll and how they dont think its neccesary that they have a doll that "breastfeeds" Well I bet breastfeeding moms dont find it neccesary to have bottle fed baby dolls. I got in a tuffy once before when someone posted on facebook about eating dinner at a resaurant with her 6 year old son and his friend when a women beside them started breastfeeding and then she had to explain that the baby was eating to. Someone commented "They do make bathrooms" and my blood boiled. I commented back and said how about you go eat in a bathroom! REALLY??? I dont even want to use a public bathroom more or less feed my baby in one!! I was appalled! Of course I fired back and the person who posted the status came back and said whoa...she was for breastfeeding just felt it more appropriate for a blanket to be used in a public restaurant. So for all you breastfeeding moms who are reading this...cover your breastfeeding baby up with a blanket so you dont freak out the people who have never seen a baby eat from a breast before it makes them squirmy!! (I am being sarcastic)

So to end this here is the youtube video of the Breastfeeding baby let me know how you feel about it!

The story of my week as told by Natalie Dee...

2011-03-10T06:10:00.000-08:00

Sunday-The Invasion of the little virus....

Monday-Oh the pain....The headache began

Tuesday-I blew my nose clean off my face..

Wednesday- The worst day of all Im the background bubble....

Wednesday night- Doctor said its just a virus....take cold meds....OK! COLD MED DRUG COMA? I dont mind if I do!

Thursday-The virus ran from my head to avoid the drugs and straight to my chest...while its there it could atleast make my boobs bigger but no such luck! Here is a copy of my xray...pretty accurate!

Friday- The End....

7 times 70 breaking the silence.

2011-03-07T11:55:00.000-08:00

So we have been learning alot about "Forgiveness" in church and I really needed to hear what was being spoken. My daughter had been bullied, the family did nothing about it, I was angry and hurt and upset for my daughter. I called my Pastor, talked to my other Christan friends and even looked into some things myself. Forgiveness does not come easy to me because I have been wronged practically since birth. I am working on a new pathway in my life and the slowing of my mouth has been one of them...DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH ENERGY THAT TAKES! I remember while doing the "Love Dare" with my husband while we were "Fireproofing" our marriage the first chapter was about spending an entire day not speaking negatively to your partner. That was the hardest chapter for me.

Here is where I am getting a little deep I grew up in a pretty hostile enviroment. My dad was a non funtioning alcoholic and because of this addiction he lost his life at 46. I watched my father die from cirossis of the liver and it was by far the hardest Trial I ever had to endure. My family was falling apart and I was working and taking care of my dad every chance I could get. I slept between two hospital chairs got up and drove an hour to work only to come back to the hospital that night. It sparked a fight between B and I not because he was not being supportive but because he felt like I shouldnt have given my dad the time and attention I was because I never got that from him. I remember it as if it were yesterday he said to me as I was rushing off...."I dont understand how you can care for a man who has hurt you in the ways that man has" I replied..."because he is my dad whether or not he deserves it its what I need to do FOR ME!" I dont talk about what happpened in my house when I was a child alot because of what "other family members might think". I was silenced to the major abuse (except to a cousin we made a pact and swore to never tell for fear of us never being able to see each other again) I loved my grandmother and most of my family and I knew with out a doubt my mother would have ensured that I NEVER saw any of them again. When I talked to her about this a few months ago when I slowly opened up to her about what had happened she told me exactly what I feared "You would have never seen that family again"

During high school was the roughest of all my dad was slipping further and further into his bottle and the abuse was getting worse. I would watch him literally SHOVE my brother from one end of the room to the other and threaten to beat him within a inch of his life..only to turn around and tell my step mom that he NEVER touched THAT boy he tripped over his own two feet! I sat quietly because to be honest....it was a survival tactic. My father would accuse me of doing drugs and for having sex and I was often told I was "Nothing more but a whore JUST LIKE MY MOTHER!" One day I came home from school and he was drunk and angry I knew something bad was gonna happen. He told me to go in the kitchen and clean up his dishes before my step mom got home he didnt want her to know he did nothing all day (Little did she know I did that everyday including making the bed) Well apparently I wasnt working fast enough and he grabbed my arms and screamed at me "YOU LITTLE FUCKING BITCH ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME IN A FIGHT WITH STEPMOM TONIGHT YOUR SO FUCKING WORTHLESS!!" and with a shove I hit the fridge and if anyone reading this was ever in my house then you would know that our fridge was covered in magnets 3 dimensional ones and some flat but mainly big bulky ones. I had dark bruises all over my back for weeks it seemed. I remember being at cheerleading and one of the girls smacked my back to get my attention and I almost screamed out in agony. Only one friend ever witnessed my dad ever hit me...Poor Letha..we were having dinner and I HATE Brussel Sprout well the rule in our house was you have to eat EVERYTHING on your plate. I was 16 years old and I am pretty sure I didnt like them well my dad wouldnt have that and when I "Backed talked" by saying "But i dont like them" He SLAPPED me so hard I started crying and Letha sat in a stunned silence...after my dad walked away Letha QUICKLY ate them for me even though she didnt like them either (Taking time to pray...Thank you God for the friends you have brought into my life during such horrible circumstances they made me strong and got me through).

Finally, 2 months before graduation I had had ENOUGH and I was DONE. I wanted out of that house SO bad that if he killed me I would be free of him. He started with the Whore talk and the useless talk and the your such a little bitch talk and I finally lashed back and I screamed Your are NOT my father your are a piece of crap...Word to the wise..Drunks are not fun to toy with...He turned around and got up in my face and I yelled "IF YOUR GONNA HIT ME THEM HIT ME!!!! and he did! I fell to the ground and I stood back up and yelled HIT ME AGAIN...and he did and I fell again and as I rose to the third time I remember praying "GOD PLEASE LET HIM KILL ME WITH THIS NEXT BLOW!! Please take me from this nightmare and bring me home to you!" and as I yelled HIT ME AGAIN my angel appeared...my stepmom who grabbed him and said TOM STOP!!! What are you doing he then grabbed my "Charger" my school mascot and prized possesion that my grandmother gave me and he threw it against the wall and shattered it along with what was left of me. I left that house that night to live with my Aunt who allowed me to live with her till I graduated. Then I moved back to live with my mom.

My father sent me down a very destuctive path of self destruction. I looked to men for attention I needed from him, I became all the things church had told me not to be. I started drinking, I playing around with drugs but not really I didnt care for drugs I would have rather had the alcohol, I smoked I NEVER prayed I turned my back to the church because what had God done for me? Then came the boys....boy after boy after boy till my eyes were opened to a boy who was NOT my type and he saved me. I married that boy and he LOVES me knowing ALL MY FLAWS!

So I guess with you readers knowing this about SOME of my situations others are WAY to painful to type out it was hard enough to admit and say. Im not ready to devulge that information the the world I bet your saying to yourself....yeah B was right HOW COULD YOU take care of such a awful man....my response to you is..."FORGIVENESS" My father was a sick man and I remember before the alcohol stole him tickling me till I almost peed, his snuggling with me on the couch watching Saturday morning cartoons, not matter waht he ALWAYS told me he loved me and most of all its what God wants us to do. One night while sitting beside his hospital bed I prayed and I asked for God to forgive him and for God to help me forgive him. I believe that if my father was not consumed my his sadness, anger, own childhood abuse, and his alcohol to cope that he would have been the best dad and I hold on to that not the anger. While driving home today I heard this song its new by Chris August and I BAWLED my eyes OUT! I think I am still crying as I type this....this is the story of me....

Bullying...you just never know when it will hit your home!

2011-02-15T08:31:00.000-08:00

So we see everyday on the news about how a child has killed themself or shot up a school or even been caught planning vicious attacks against bullies. I always think to my self how in the world can someone stand back and watch that happen. How are the parents gonna live with themselves knowing their child caused another child to take their own life? and then I thank god its never happened to my child....now I pray for his guidance on how to actually deal with it because.....it came to my house!

Brianna has been coming home over the last few weeks with some problems at school and to be honest it was nothing more than the typical 3 is a crowd girl relationships. But who knew that it could escalte!

Story #1 (The names have been changed for privacy issues besides my daughters of course)

Brianna came home from school and told me that her and Tootsie were no longer friends. When I asked her why she responded with "I tried to tell her how I felt and she told me I was lying and I am not sure how I was lying when it was how I felt!" I told her well how did you feel? She said Tootsie and Tulip arent hanging out with me anymore they only hang out together. I got mad and when they asked me what was wrong Tootsie said "Whatever your lyng" How was I lying if it was how I felt? I said "Well if she didnt want to listen to you and you dont want to be friends then dont be friends. (I also knew that it was a "this week" lack of friendship. The next day Tootsie told Brianna she wanted to be friends and Brianna responded with " I DONT WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU!" Ahhhhhhh my daughter the snot head...I told her she wasnt being nice and if she was trying to apologize then at that moment Brianna was in the wrong.

Story #2

Tulip doesnt like another girl at school who is also her family member. Brianna was actually really good friends with the family member until this year (I think is because if Tulip which I corrected!!!) Well the family memeber we will call Daisy asked Brianna to play with her at recess. Brianna was worried how Tulip was gonna take this news so she was being secretive about it. When Tulip saw Brianna with Daisy she approached her and said "Wow Bri what a way to be a great friend!" Then at some point in the day Tootsie started talking bad to Brianna and Brianna told her it was none of her buisness that it was between her and Tulip. Tootsie told her that it was her buisness because Tulip was her Best Friend!

That evening Brianna came home and told me what happened and I told her the Tulip wasnt a true friend if she was asking her to choose who she wanted to be friends with and that a true good friend wouldn't ask her to.

Saturday evening Tulip called here asking for Brianna. Thankfully Brianna wasnt here.

Story #3 The issue....

I picked Brianna up from school yesterday and she informed me that she had to go to the councelor. I asked her why and she said someone wrote bad stuff about her on the wall in the bathroom. I asked her what was written she repied: Brianna last name is a bitch, Brianna and Daisy are 2 faced bitches, Brianna and Daisy are Lesbians. Then right under the was Tootsie is a Bitch. I asked her how she found out and she told me that all the kids in her class were going to the bathroom and coming back and whispering and looking at her then she heard them say her name and written so she asked if she could go to the bathroom. She discovered it! Can you imagine how my 5th grader felt at that very moment. Put yourself in her shoes...My heart is breaking!!

After hearing this I asked her who she thought did it. She said I think Tootsie did it. I told her I didnt think Tootsie had done it. My mommy intution SCREAMED Tulip because of the Daisy references. She said well Tootsie and I had to sit with the councelor and she asked me if I had written on the wall Tootsie is a bitch and I told her NO My mother raised me better than that! (This made my heart smile a little it was still breaking but slighly smiling) So I called Tootsies mom and told her what happened and she was just as upset as I was. I told her that I didnt for one second think it was tootsie who had written but I had a feeling I knew and asked of she could question tootsie because I also knew someone knew who did it and I knew tootsie would if Tulip had done it. Next thing i know Tootsies mom was calling me back and asked if she could come over she had something she wanted Brianna to hear for herself!

Tootsie and her mom arrived and we sat the girls down at the table and we mediated and let them talk. Tootsie told Brianna the she was at Tulips house on saturday night and Tulip was writing on a piece of paper about how she was going to write on the wall in the bathroom at school. She even went to the extreme of saying she would make it look like someone elses handwritting. She showed it to her sister who said she couldnt tell what girl wrote what! THIS SHIT WAS PLANNED!!!! THIS MAKES ME SICK! Well Tootsies mom reamed her out for not telling what Tulip was doing but also told her she understood why whick was for fear of retaliation and Tulip was her friend. We asked her like what kind of retaliation was she talking about her name on the wall?? She said no like what she did to Brianna and her bruise! at this point I looked at Brianna and said WHAT BRUISE!!! She lifted her arm and she had a bruise on her forearm!!! NOW THIS SHIT IS PHYSICAL!!! I looked at Brianna and said "WHAT HAPPENED!!!" Tootsie said that Tulip shoved her meaning Tootsie into Brianna and Brianna hit her arm! Now I am beyond pissed! My child was slandered and physically harmed! I have a almost straight A (one B in music because she is terrible at the recorder) and I am sending her to school for what...be harmed!!!

Well Tootsies mom met me at the school today and we met with the principal and we will have to wait and see how it plays out but the principal said she would call me and it would ne handled....Here is how I think it should be handled...0 Tolereance for bullying= supension from school. If I shoved my daughter and caused her a bruise I would go to jail.....this little girl needs a reality check!

But on a good night I spent some time cuddling with my girl last night filling her in on my bullying issues when I was in school and I told her how I felt and how she could come to me with ANYTHING!! Then told her you know how you feel better when your sad.....RETAIL THERAPY! Im taking my baby out for some shopping and ice cream this weekend!

The new rule.........Hug it out!

2011-02-10T10:41:00.000-08:00

Well I am trying out something new in the Super Mom house......

RESPECT

Well that's not new but I have a new approach. I have raised my kids like I have said in a previous post to not hit each other. I hate seeing siblings beating the crap out of each other with the parents saying "they are siblings its what they do" Well did you know that if your child goes to school or a doctor or anyone and tells them that they are being abused at home..even though it is the sibling...abuse is abuse is abuse whether it is at the hands of a parent or sibling. Social Services can be involved and who wants that? That is my public service announcement. Now back to my story.

I am working on this whole new scream free parenting stuff....its not going as good as I wanted but my kids are getting hostile in the yelling at each other way. That to me is disrespectful. I always tell the kids to speak to each other with respect and understanding. HA this is not happening. Well 2 days ago I was downstairs getting all the kids ready for school. I hear yelling so I tune in to my super sonic super mom ears and listen....

Shay: I DID NOT SPIT ON YOUR ARM BRI!!!!

Bri: YES YOU DID!!!! LOOK ITS TOOTHPASTE RIGHT THERE....YOU DID IT!!

Shay: NO I DIDN'T BRI (now starting to get that whining voice (which I hate) ) STOP SAYING THAT!!!!

In the meantime...I'm creeping up the steps.

Bri: Next time I'm gonna spit on your arm to see how you like it (Do unto others..just backfired)

Supermom: What is going on up here? Why are you to yelling at each other?

Bri and Shay: She No I didn't spit on my I swear I didn't arm and she is blaming me and I YES YOU DID I didn't spit on her,,,YES YOU DID....

(Grrrrrrrrrrrr)

Supermom: HUG HUG EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW....HUG!!!!!!

Bri and Shay: Embracing (painfully I might add)

Supermom: I tell you guys all the time about yelling at each other. Its not nice and how does it make you feel (girls are still hugging)

Bri: She made me......(I put up my hand)

Supermom: You didn't answer my question..

Bri: sad

Shay: sad

Supermom: Right do you like when I yell at you?

Bri and Shay: NO

(Girls are still hugging)

Supermom: Now how could you have handled it better.

Bri: I don't know not yelled at her.

Supermom: Right. Did she spit on your arm on purpose?

Bri: No

Supermom: Shay did you?

Shay: No but I....(hand up again)

Supermom: I didn't ask for a but I asked you if you did it on purpose?

Shay: no

Supermom: Bri when Shay spit on your arm where you reaching across the sink? If Shay was brushing her teeth why would you reach across the sink because you know she has to spit. I don't think she waited to spit on you. Now Shay when Bri told you that you spit on her arm which I am sure you did (Shay: BUT..... hand up again) Let me finish Shay. I am sure it was by accident the nicer response would have been...I'm sorry Bri I didn't mean to here rinse your arm off. Not NO I DIDN'T!!!! The toothpaste spit doesn't fall from the ceiling. Bri next time don't yell at your sister. Tell her that she accidental spit on your arm. Don't get all high in mighty its a little bit of spit its not like she hocked a logy in your face.

(Girls are still hugging)

Supermom: How would you feel if you left here and the bus was in a accident and one of you was harmed really bad or fatally (God forbid) and the last thing you said to your sister was mean and nasty and not really called for..

Bri and Shay: Really sad.

Supermom: Right....now what is a better way to handle this.

Bri: I'm sorry Shay I didn't mean to yell at you. It was a accident and I will be better at telling you next time I love you.

Shay: I'm sorry I spit on your arm it was a accident. I am sorry I yelled at you I love you to.

Supermom: Now hug like you mean it and lets get ready for school!

The fight: WIN

5 minutes later

SUPERMOM: HURRY UP YOUR GONNA MISS THE BUS!!! I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T GET DOWN THESE STEPS RIGHT NOW I'M GONNA COME UP THERE AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE HATING LIFE!! I'M TAKING EVERYTHING YOU HEAR ME EVERYTHING!!!!! COMPUTER, PHONE, DS, WII......

Scream Free Parenting.....EPIC FAIL! Will keep trying but its not looking good!

Were not in Kansas anymore...Lexi's story

2011-02-07T11:42:00.000-08:00

Some time last year I recieved a phone call from one of the teachers from my daughters school. She was inquiring about daycare and for a minute I thought to myself "I didnt think she had any children?". As she was telling me her needs I asked her when she was going to need this care for the child. She relpied "I have no idea yet we are waiting on the military to decide when she will be coming here. Coming here??? I was confused and then she clarified. Lexi is my high school best friends daughter. They live in Kansas and currently her dad is deployed to Kuwait and her mother has been given orders to report to Texas for training I will be here in Maryland caring for Lexi. We are not sure when she will need care because the military hasnt decided yet when her mom is to report for training they are giving her time to find adequate care of Lexi. I told her that I would take her if I had any openings but I couldnt hold a spot for her if she didnt even have a idea when she was coming or for how long. I guess a part of me thought if its meant to be it will be.

Well all the cards fell into the proper places I had a mom on maternity leave and spots open on the days she needed.I was hesitant at first about taking on this little girl. Although I feel like I have a good amount of patience I was worried about how she would adjust to a strange state and new person she is living with and then a new daycare with another stranger! I consulted with some other daycare providers about what I should look for or worry about or any problems I may have due to fear or anxiety and how I may be able to help her transition. I knew that I would probably have a battle on my hands but I felt prepared! January 10th Alexis "Lexi" walked through my door! She was freshly 2 years old (she turned 2 in September) She was potty trained, could speak full sentences, and was just adorable!!

Lexi walked right into my daycare like it was her daycare all along! She had 2 days (about 2 weeks into coming here) where she was a little clingy to her "Aunt" Jessie but other then that she was fine! I was worried about regression on her potty training, although there was no regression there were a few accidents! Mostly nap time accidents. Lexi loves to color and draw, she loves to dance, the tootie ta is her favorite, she loves to count, her favorite song was itsy bitsy spider oh and ring around the rosies to. She is funny and articulate, VERY mature in her speaking yet still had that 2 yr old...MINE personality LOL. She made me laugh almost everyday. She is sweet and sassy all at the same time and I love that she let me play with her hair almost everyday!

All good things must come to an end I guess because today is her last day. I am sad to see her go. I recieved a bottle of wine from Jessie this morning as a gift for taking care of Lexi and then this afternnon I recieved a Edible Arrangement from Lexi's mom! I have never met her or spoken to her. After reading her card I had to stand there for a moment and think to myself...This mother is giving her life to our country along with her husband who is currently deployed and she has been away from her daughter for a entire month! Being a mom myself I couldnt imagine being away from my child for that long. I also think I was slighlty shocked that she thought of me enough to send me a gift Thanking me for the great care I gave her daughter.

There is a huge part of me that wishes I was getting on the plane with Lexi tomorrow to see that moment when this amazing, adorable little girl walks down the terminal at the airport and sees her Mommy!! The mommy she tells me she misses, the mommy who misses her, the mommy who I am sure is suffering from that horrible I need my child feeling. Can you just imagine the sight that will be....tears of joy I am sure will be streaming in the Kansas airport tomorrow! I am very thankful I got to take care of Lexi while she was here. This was a experience I will never forget!

This is Lexi....

The card...

My gift....although just being a part of this scenario was my gift.....

The Reader...Good, bad happy medium.

2011-02-01T07:12:00.000-08:00

So most people know that Brianna is a reader. I have friends that say..Oh my kid reads ALL THE TIME TO! Well I am not quite sure that they read as much as Brianna and it is starting to bother me. She is reading ENTIRE books in one day. I am sure some are reading this thinking "Your complaining why" Well this would be why...

1. She is no longer practicing her cello.
2. On the weekends she wakes up and grabs her book. I will think she is sleeping but she is just sitting in her bed reading.
3. I go upstairs in the evening and she is in her chair...reading.
4. Calling her for something is like screaming for help and never being heard. She gets inside the books and its hard to get her attention.
5. Family conversations are only about the books she is reading.

These are just a few of the current problems. I know its not a big problem per say but I feel like she needs to see the outside world not just her dream world inside a book. So last night at dinner she informs us that she has 230some AR points. AR is short for Accelerated Reader. When the kids read a book they have a chance to test on what they read. Each book is worth a certain amount of points Most being 10 points but the classics like Little Women are 30 or more. Which by the way Brianna will not read. She says its really terrible and slow LOL. She is all into these Warrior cats books right now she read book 3 in one day. She checked it out at the school library and by bed time last night she was done with it.

I called the school today and spoke to the Media teacher about this. She pulled Brianna up in the computer and she informed me that Brianna is currently the HIGHEST student in the school for AR points and that she currently has 248 with the closet kid being at 208. I began to tell her of my concern of her reading all the time and she told me that Brianna has stuck out since 3rd grade and is definitely a HONORS child. This makes me very proud! But I fear when she goes to high school and has to read the Old man in the Sea, Beowulf, Tale of Two Cities, or GOD FORBID Paradise Lost she may not do so hot because Brianna only reads what Brianna wants to read. The Media teacher then informed me that based off of Briannas test she recently had done for reading Brianna along with most of the honors kids at Appeal are reading at 12th grade levels!!! Can you believe that 12th grade?!?!?!?! Just goes to show how awesome the teachers are.

Although most people believe that reading is the best but playing video games are unhealthy here is my question..What is the difference between laying in your bed getting smarter and smarter with your nose in a book or laying in your bed playing video games for hours? Obesity can happen either way but one is stimulating your ability to learn and comprehend and the other is a mindless tool to preoccupy your time. But both are not good for your body. Grrrrrrr this is so frustrating. Its not that I want to stop her from reading I just need to find that happy medium can anyone who reads this blog give me any advice? This is really tough!

This is the stuff.....

2011-01-20T10:48:00.000-08:00

You know how when you are growing up..or at least my parents told me..."If you make it through your whole life with having just one "True" Friend...your lucky! Well I guess I am the lucky one because I have more than one!! But this story is of one in particular...She is my ROCK, my saving grace, my therapist, my own personal audience to my own version of comedy, and most important....she is a person that I can't live with out!

We met when I was in about 6th grade, that is about when I was allowed to "stay the night" at friends houses and I had the Bestest Friend ever Jamey! Her family was a whole family which is what I felt like I needed in my life, mom, dad, brothers (alot of them and I disliked them about as much as my own brothers), and a OLDER SISTER! I was the oldest in my family and I desperately needed that older sibling although she did not find it as amazing as I did. Jamey and I followed her EVERYWHERE.....I WANTED TO BE LIKE SARAH! SARAH SARAH SARAH SAAAAAAAAAARAH! I practically worshiped her! I was really pathetic, and she was MEAN...but I am a gluten for punishment and I kept coming back for more. Over the course of a few years and them being my surrogate family we made a TON of memories. Here is a list of some of those memories...

1. Sarah during a ice fight decided to hit my hand to knock my cup back....It hit me in the mouth and she CHIPPED MY TOOTH!

2. The half shaved head was in style, Sarah shaved the back of my head! Not with a razor but with scissors.

3. Sarah ran away from home (she was legal but ran away nonetheless) came home from California with "Soleless Shoes" It was a string you tied around your foot, it was looped over a toe and decorated with beads! She told us we couldn't be kicked out of a store for no shoes...cause they were shoes...just soleless! Yes I listened and walked about a mile in my bare feet to a store cause Sarah said I could.....Yes I owwwed and ooooo'ed all the way there!

4. I always felt like I was a model at heart or a photographer from an early age...Sarah still has the picture of me that I had my brother take of me trying to pose all sexy against a tree...I was the rip old age of 13! Sarah calls it...my humping the tree picture! I think she is holding it for ransom or for a random laugh at my expense....

5. Sarah when I decided I wanted to learn how to dance....she taught me...on the pole of her bunk bed...Good friend huh! She was setting me up for a life of trauma and I earned it and deserved it because we irritate her to NO END!

Although, we had these few things I am listing and there are TONS more I grew up and so did our friendship! I had moved away to live with my dad and I kept in contact with 2 friends. Jamey was one of them and Sarah was a fall upon really. She had her son and worked and raised him, then when we reconnected she was pregnant and ready to marry and I wasn't at that point in my life but I still enjoyed going to her apartment and drinking coffee with her and chatting...weird huh? She once was mean and now was nice but for some reason there was a connection with her....THE BIG SISTER connection I always wanted and needed. I didn't get on her nerves as much as I use to but I began to appreciate her and rely on her when I was at my lowest points which I was in ALOT then. I made mistakes that she warned me about and like a good friend said "I TOLD YOU SO" :)

Well over the last 14 years we have gone from being ME: The annoying best friend of her already annoying little sister. SARAH: The Big sister who would do anything to avoid the annoying best friend of the already annoying little sister TO: SOUL SISTERS! Sarah knows me better than I know myself, she calls me on my bullshit, praises me on accomplishments, backs me up when i needed but will knock my ass to the ground like a raging bull when I need it to. I have told her ALL my deep DARK DIRTY secrets and guess what...SHE LOVES ME FLAWS AND ALL!

For Christmas she called and told me she had a gift for me. We have never exchanged gifts in the 21 years we have known each other but she said this one was simple. I asked her what it was and she said it was simple and cheap and it made her think of me...my next question was Will I cry? she said...MAYBE! Great! I cry at commercials so now I was anxious...She showed up at my house with her present and a letter and directions for how to open the thing!

First I read!

Dearest Shannon,
I knew when I saw this I just had to get it for you. It reminded me of you for so many reasons. First because its unique. Its handmade and not from a mold. So while there are others out there like it this is no exact duplicate.

Its beautiful at a glance, but if you look close enough you can see it is flawed. That's right, its not perfect! But its flaws add to its beauty

OPEN NOW.....

I opened a wrapped up tissue paper to expose a half of a butterfly wing and as I looked up Sarah revealed the top of her chest and she was wearing the other half!

I started feeling the burn in my nose.....:) I then had to open the end of the note that read....

It has a match and although they are not identical when you put them together the are a whole. They become one, not perfect, but a perfect match!

Merry Christmas,
I love you
Sarah

P.S. When you put it on, it should be the perfect length to rest on your heart.

and I cried! This was the first time I had ever had a moment like this. I realized at that moment...I was truly blessed and its the little stuff that matters the most!

Here is this perfectly imperfect gift....

The Shift, Graduation and the New Life!

2011-01-19T08:39:00.000-08:00

In a earlier post I admitted to attended marriage counseling with my husband. He was very uneasy about people even knowing that we were in it. I think he felt like people would view us differently. I on the other hand thought it was nothing to be ashamed of. We started last March and we are about to GRADUATE out of counseling next Tuesday! I am very excited about this. Its been a LONG road and we have hit a speed bump or five but something in the last month and a half has shifted and I couldn't be happier.

The shift happened at a really odd time. We were about to leave on our cruise for a week and the stress and overwhelming feeling of to much to do was really weighing on me. We ended up having a really serious blow out! THE GLOVES WERE OFF!! I felt like we had finally hit that rock bottom and we were NEVER going to recover. I felt disrespected and upset but mostly angry at how he viewed me and the things I did to keep this family running and he belittled my "job" (not my paying one, my duty to my family one). It was really horrible! Needless to say getting on that plane and joining him and our friends for a week of no responsibility and carefreeness (I don't think that is a word but it sounds cool)was more of a chore than exciting. I cried for the days leading up to the cruise. During our discussions following the "fight" truths were revealed and the feeling poured from both of us. I couldn't get past the fact that we had been in counseling for MONTHS and we still couldn't get our shit together. I mean really MONTHS.....some of the discussions were heated and some were just sad but at least it was being put "On the table" and it was up to us to decided how it was going to play out.

While on our cruise we took alot of time to just work on "us". We did alot of talking and alot of what I think we needed all along....Time for US! I stepped out of my box and my comfort zone and so did he. We took naps in the middle of the day along with "other time" ;). The reconnection was beginning and this was EXCITING yet terribly scary!! I went snorkeling in the middle of the Caribbean sea ( I have a massive fear of sharks this was a HUGE accomplishment for me). You never know how powerful the word "Thank you" is until you hear it and know you needed to hear it. That night after snorkeling Brian walked up to me while we were preparing for our dinner in the dining room and just lightly touched my arm and said "Thank you for snorkeling with me today I know how hard it was for you and it really meant alot that you went knowing I have waited my whole life to do something like that Thank you!" This was the first in the "shift". I was taken back for a moment but looked at him and said "Your Welcome, and yes I did "jump" out of my comfort zone when I jumped off a boat into a barrier reef and swam over top barracudas!" we laughed and it was the first time we had laughed together and at each other in a very long time. Well the rest of the week went off without any problems. We had the best time with our friends and with ourselves a part of my didn't want to come back not because of where were where but "Where Brian and I were". I just knew the second we got home Vacation brain would leave and the daily life with kids and jobs brain would come back and the fighting and arguing would begin again. Well that's me always waiting for the fall out and to make sure I am right....I will cause the fallout. The petrified me! I made sure the day we were leaving to say to him...can we please continue this life once we get home I don't want things to change...he agreed.

Coming home was interesting it was the WORST week. The morning I started working I backed my car into my trash cans and I broke my tail light...and a piece of my heart broke because I was expecting the worst actually the normal reaction I would get when I messed up and that was Brian yelling at me...I called him at work and clinched my jaw after telling Brian what I had done. He calmly said...."Its okay is it broke broke or can I tape it?" I replied "You can tape it" he replied "Alright well we will have to wait till after Christmas but we can fix it" I sat dumbfounded and shocked yet relieved that he didn't yell at me! This would be the second "shift". I made sure I "Thanked him" for not yelling at me and I told him how I appreciated him staying calm about it and I laughed as I told him I thought he was going to yell at me.

Thing from here just keep getting better! Are communication level is at an all time high. We haven't had a fight or argument since before the cruise and if we do we are quick to point out what is beneficial to the relationship and what is not and the other is quick to change the tone or body language and APOLOGIZE for being out of line. APOLOGIZE I actually APOLOGIZED for being snappy! That was another "Shift"

After attending counseling last night and talking with the counselor she was shocked and amazed at how just even 2 months ago we were falling apart yet now our pieces are sliding back into the proper place and the puzzle we created is becoming a solid picture! I say it was the "shift". Either way I can honestly say that I haven't been happier than I am right now and I am excited yet still sightly guarded that my relationship from here on out will be purely.....SYNERGY! How do I plan on doing this....here is how!

•Focus on the things I can control: my attitude, my behavior, my words, and my energy. If I want something to change in any stage of my relationship, I can make it happen by changing own traits or actions – not Brians.

•I will make sure I take what I learned and use healthier ways to express my disappointment, anger, or frustration.

•Remember how I came to fall in love! Recalling my feelings of lust, attraction, and desire I have for Brian. I will think about the traits that I was attracted to, and let those old feelings come to life again.

•Appreciate Brian and all his good qualities;I will be grateful for the life we share. Gratitude in itself can enhance our relationships. I will be thankful and apologetic. Most important...I am going to LOVE that man like its my only way to live!

The Christmas lists!

2010-11-23T05:49:00.000-08:00

Here they go.....I will also be typing EXACTLY how they are written.

BRI....The OLDEST at 10 yrs old

1. King Arthur Book.
2. Chronicles of Ancient Darkness Series
3. Diary of a wimpy kid series
4. Cracker! The best dog in Vietnam (book)
5. The Rest of the Spiderwick Chronicles (I have 1 & 2)
6. Real Diary
7. Wolf Animal Figure (Like the horses I get at Easter)
8. Bunny figure set (Includes 2 bunnies, hutch house and fence)
9. I tunes Card
10. Interactive Globe
11. Origami Book
12. Soccer Video game
13. Vampire Diaries Poster
14. New Lava Lamp
15. PSP Games
16. Art Set ( Includes: Oil Pastels, crayons, pens, and markers)
17. Earrings and Necklaces

Quiet Through I must say!

Shay's.....The Middle at 8yrs old

1. The spy whatch that takes pictures and video
2. A bascetball
3. makeup set
4. Barbie/vet set with puppy
5. Moxie Girl/snow moxin girl
6. A Penguin Pez or iny pez
7. Horse Set of horses in my poket
8. A set of Polly Pokets
9. Monkey earings/Peace sine earing
10. Clairs card
11. Fish Lava lamp with fish in it from target.

Gotta love spelling!

Pickles's....The baby at 6 yrs old

1. An optimus Prime robot fighre
2. A little red car thing
3. DSI
3. DSI games
5. Stuffed Hockey player
6. Tech Deck
7. Criss Cross Crash race track.
8. Coloring books
9. A fake computer game
10. Closes {he means clothes cause he growed out his pants, his words :) }
11. A toy monkey
12. A toy horses

I think this is a dueable list but u sear it makes me laugh

WTH is a red car thing?? This is going to be interesting shopping! I hope Santa can pull this off and hopefully he knows what it is!

Randomness...

2010-11-18T06:48:00.000-08:00

First I have created a slight monster! I really do have a method to my madness and often take a moment to explain to my family the importance of folding my towels in half, then half again then folding 3 times over (they fit in the linen closet better), or how much pretty your bed looks with all the lines straight or how there is a certain place in which all the glasses go in the cabinet so guess what....YOU CAN EASILY FIND WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR!!! Simple rules of organization and me maintaining my sanity! Well this morning I was upstairs switching the laundry and I heard Brianna downstairs making Nics lunch fussing at Shay for helping her! The conversation went as follows.....

Bri: Shay if your gonna help then you need to do it right! You cant make someone elses lunch and not do it right!

Shay: Bri I am...

Bri: No your not...FIRST you put in the drink then you add the banana but you have to stand it up and then you pack the yogurt and the treat around it! Thats how you do it RIGHT!

OYE!

Second, why do the schools insist on making me feel like the worst mom EVER! They make us accountable for SO MANY things, sign this, oh and this....wait and this to! Lets not forget were doing Book it read to your kid EVERYNIGHT and keep track of it on this form but dont forget the classroom reading list right it on there too and that oh yeah you should SIGN! WTF???????? I have 3 kids, 3 folders, 3 sets of homework to check, and 3 kids to run all over the god flippin place for sports...wait dont forget dinner, baths, teeth being brushed, clothes being laid out! WHO THE FUCK has time to sign EVERYTHING! Nic is read a story every night....if he doesnt its because I take it as punishment he HATES that! But after I tuck my kids in and read and kiss goodnight I retreat to my bathroom to shower and ready myself for bed. I never go back downstairs and fill out all the freaking reading logs! I look at his list and see that I havent written on them since September therefore making the teacher think I am a piece of shit mother who doesnt read to her kids! Well let me tell you something...I have read to my kids since they were inutero which is why they are SUPER SMART and ahead of the learning curve anyway. I dont have time to record all my daily actions and sign every single flippin piece of paper in the 100 different places between all 3 kids! Judging by the good behavior and the consistant homework being turned in on time and the HONOR ROLL my girls are always ON I think I am doing something right! Please forgive me for not signing and writing every life detail down in the planner or behavior folder! If my son gets in trouble I know cause he hands me his bookbag and says....I dont want you to check my folder! So if he doesnt do that I assume he has a smily face! Also, I am sure you already know who the piece of shit parents are in your classroom but I can assure you I am a busy and full involved mother and lack of attention is not welcome in this house..just know I dont have time to intial this or sign that THANKS!

Third, I have crossed over to the darkside and I am going Black Friday shopping! Wish me LUCK!

F'ing Socks.......

2010-11-09T10:48:00.001-08:00

First, Let me get something VERY clear...I MARRIED A PARTNER! I have been told a couple times I told this story I should be very happy he folded socks....

Sunday morning started out like yet another movie morning! I woke up early (thank you time change) and started making coffee and cleaning my kitchen. One by one my family rose and one by one they all started helping me make breakfast. It was PERFECT! We made this big ole family breakfast and sat down to enjoy it together for the first time in MONTHS (its been busy for us with soccer, and cheerleading oh and LIFE!) We all got up from the table and then the real day had begun! I looked around and saw cobwebs real cobwebs not halloween decorations but real ones and DUST BUNNIES running RAMPED in my house! I start cleaning. B walks into the kitchen and says "I hate when I see you cleaning" my reply "Why?" he says...cause this means I cant sit on my ass and watch TV. I said....Well you can but your a grown ass man who can make his own decisions and you also know you have to live with your consequences (My constant bitching). He looks at me and says 'WHAT are you trying to get done today" I look at him with a look of I may hit you for that comment and say "B look around this house its GROSS I have cobwebs and spots on the hard wood floor look at the tables the dust bunnies are having massive orgies and multiping all over the place I NEED TO DEEP CLEAN!!!!" He says...what can I do? I told him to do the upstairs which consists of our bedroom, bathroom, hallway and the kids bathroom which only gets a chemical wipe down because the kids clean it along with their bedrooms. Easy right???? I had the kitchen, dining room, bathroom, livingroom, hallway which I might add is ALL HARDWOOD!

B and I have had a discussion about hiring a housekeeper to do my grunt work stuff because I feel like I am drowning..running the roads, doing errands, grocery shopping, working 11 hour days, and taking care of the kids where is the time for housework....Judging by the state of my house on Sunday I don't have any! He keeps thinking its not possible instead of trying to figure out how we can make it work and make me more sane and happy! I had told him this before he goes upstairs to "CLEAN" and he did seem to listen to my plea for help and understand how I felt or so I thought!

Two and a half hours go by and I am SWEATING! I am dusting and cleaning and scrubbing...getting eye level with my hardwood to make sure I got all the spots I vacuumed all the way up the steps I am out of breath and sweating profusely and I round the corner to my bedroom and...........

I FIND B SITTING ON THE BED!!!!! He yells..."Look babe look at all the socks matched and folded WOW its alot" I look at the pile and I KIRKED OUT!!! At first I tried to breath and calm myself but then when I looked at the dust and disorganization of my upstairs and the dirty bathroom and the unswept floors I just LOST MY MIND!!!!!!

I turned to him and I Yelled angrily....ITS BEEN 2 AND A HALF HOURS AND ALL YOU HAVE DONE IS FOLDED FUCKING SOCKS!!!! FUCKING SOCKS B FUCKING SOCKS!!!!!! I just told you I was drowning and if we couldn't afford a housekeeper you would step up and HELP ME and I am BUSTING my ASS downstairs CLEANING and your up here sitting on the bed FOLDING FUCKING SOCKS!!!!! Your the MOST inconsiderate, selfish, person I have ever met! I cannot believe when I practically get on my knees and plea for my life that I need help and I give you the SIMPLE job of upstairs you choose to FOLD FUCKING SOCKS!!!! He says......and I quote....."Folding socks is not simple" I am SCREAMING AT HIM and that is his reply Now I am IRATE!!! Is my husband really THAT simple!

I started telling him about PRIORITY! The basket of unclaimed socks is a LOW priority next to my toilets that are as bad as Texaco (not really but I feel that way). The floors in the bathroom has more hair and dust then this chest! I had to prepare to leave to head and hour and 30 minutes away for a funeral for my best friend though high schools dads funeral I walked into the bathroom looked at him and said..."I cant deal with this right now I have to leave and I shouldnt have to deal with this on a day like today!" and he left me alone

Going back to the first sentence I had a friend tell me if she could slap me she would because atleast my husband even folded the socks????!!!!????? Really???? That may be the life that you chose but I chose to marry a PARTNER not a room mate or sperm donor for my children!! I married a partner/father. We run this marriage on a 50/50 partnership. We need to work together as a team to run this family! If he can cut the grass so can I, If I can dust so can he! This is not 1950 anymore!!! If I didnt have to work I would NEVER expect him to do anything! When I didnt work it was all done! I had 2 small children 2 years apart and always had everything under control! B still helped with midnight feedings, and diaper changes and dishes and laundry when I needed him to which was not very often but when I went back to work its not fair to expect me to continue to handle all that AND a job your household IS a full time job! If you know someone who is a house wife and her husband does NOTHING ask her how happy she really is! Even after this meltdown on Sunday I do know that I can look at B and say....I have had a really bad day can I go take a uninterrupted HOT bath and he will keep an eye on the kids so I can!

I guess this major moment of loss of all reality was a wake up call for him he bitched about how long it took to dust the room and asked if we could downsize he spent the remaining hours before our daughters soccer tournament CLEANING!!!! ..ONE GOOD THING TO COME OUT OF THIS......He agreed to let me get a HOUSEKEEPER! The compromise.....After January 1st and the holidays....I am okay with that!

Ahhhhhh the joys of Marriage!

2010-10-28T07:21:00.000-07:00

We actually had a night of no running around last night and was excited in the idea of a long hot bath (which I got). Early in the night I should have known it was gonna be "one of those" kinda nights! He was grilling chicken for dinner and I had just taken out the trash from the daycare and walked around to the front of the house where he was. I walked in the front door and he was walking out side I stopped in front of him and kissed him for the first time all day! Nothing big just a simple how was your day kiss. Well my hand brushed against his.....well...package....He looks at me and say HA HA HA you fucked up now you grabbed my shit! I busted out laughing and said NO I DIDNT my hand brushed it he argued it was a cupped grab...I am pretty sure he imagined that. Well I guess that incident started a night of vulgarness!

When I came downstairs after my bath I was sporting my nightgown and ready for bed. Brian proceeds to tell me that I had something on the back of my leg, I lift my gown just slightly and try to look for what he was talking about. I didn't see anything and he kept saying "look its right there in the top of your leg" as he says these things I continue to lift a little higher and spin like a flipping dog chasing its tail and after I searched and nothing I turned to him and said..."Your an ASS" he laughed hysterically and says "YUP, and I just saw your BUTT!" SERIOUSLY???? WTF?

After about an hour Brian decided to come upstairs for bed and I was just finishing up a conversation with an old friend via phone and as I climbed into my bed one of my girls fell out of my nightgown just enough for Brian to jump on yet another opportunity! He said "Hot Damn" is that foreplay.....I said "Ummmmm NO" he said 5 play?? (WTF is he R Kelly this isn't 12 play) I repeated NO WTF is wrong with you!!! He again just laughs..... REALLY MEN??? I don't understand!

Brian proceeds to turn on the TV and the movie Role Models was on which is a favorite of both of ours. I can watch that movie 100 times and still laugh hysterically! Brian gets all excited and says.....'Lets take lots of Ambien and stay up....and fuck" (a line from the movie) I laughed and said "Your so stupid" He leans over and says "I love your whispering eye" (If you don't know what that means you have never seen the movie, but lets just say its my "V") I told him he was gross and I rolled over where he then rolls over to me and says "Can I dry hump you butt" SERIOUSLY I like rolled as far away as possible and said WTF is wrong with you tonight can I get 5 minutes without a vulgar comment.....To meet and know my husband you would think that its impossible for him to be this way but believe ME when I say....he's the worst! Yet its a funny story but REALLY???

At what point after 14 years of the same scenery will it become old? I cant take a shower with out his eye balls peaking in the curtain, or him purposely dropping stuff and asking me to bend over to get it, and my favorite all the dumb tricks he pulls that even after 14 years I still fall for!

My Love Affair and Ultimate Demise of my relationship with tobacco!

2010-10-15T09:39:00.000-07:00

I LOVED SMOKING!

I loved the smell of it, I loved the taste of it, I loved the way the smoke rolled off the end of my cigarette and swirled and moved in the air. I loved the way it made me feel from the first drag to the last. I was calm and I was quiet and solemn in my thoughts. I would put my lips on the end of the filter and suck, inhaling with my eyes closed and feeling it fill my lungs with its goodness (yes I know it was tar and nicotine but whatever stay out of my affair! :). I waited for my days to come to an end just so I could run out to the porch and greet my pack and lighter with a kiss and a hug. It was part of me and I was a part of it. I never thought I would ever see a day where it wasn't a part of my daily life nor did I ever want it that way. But one day as I sat with them and took a moment I realized something had changed with our relationship. The cigarettes seemed to become less and less and when we were together what was once a amazing and loving connection became a slight disgust and nausea. I started to realize at that point the relationship was ending.

Was this a good thing or a bad thing? Was my conscience of my families disgust of our love and nonacceptance of having them around that was triggering such ill feelings or maybe it was standing on my front porch looking in the windows at my husband and children playing and inside it burned knowing that this affair was stealing away time with my family! All I knew was that I loved them and I longed for them and they were always there for me when I needed them, they comforted me in my time of stress,in my time of sadness and my time of anger. No one had ever made me feel the way that the cigarettes did. Then it happened. My husband gave me a ultimatum I couldn't refuse. I am a hypocrite! I rally for Relay for Life and I am a Team captain and raise money for cancer research yet I am in love with a culprit of cancer. Its like I am on the army side fighting it but at nightfall I am sneaking across enemies lines to have a rondezvous of heart pounding proportions! Traitor that's what I am...a stupid TRAITOR! I was taken hostage by my own family and bribed to stop entering the hostel side and join them fully by making sure I never become one of their POW's because then the torture they do to you is horrific, chemical warfare in your veins, loss of hair, and of your strength and if your body weakens....DEATH. As I sat there I realized I don't want that! I never want to leave my family before I should and I need to stop being a traitor to myself and to my family and forget how to walk down the path to the enemy lines and cross them for a little moment of satisfaction. My reward would be money towards the army of recruits that have set up shop to take down all the enemies that have become part of the cancer regimen. How can I not pass that up. The reward going to this army is of great proportions and would help them work towards the defeat of their evil king and the world would be full of people celebrating a lot more birthdays!

This all sounds great right? BUT, How do you break such a intense love? How do you walk away from your comfort and solitude? How do you make this HUGE life change? How do you go about your day every day all day looking outside (from the inside) and see the place you once yearned for and not run to it? It would be so much easier if you didn't see your love everywhere TV, stores, outside of bars, or when you see an old friend and they ask how you are doing since the break up and all you want to do is run to the store where you see them and scoop them in your arms and kiss and hug them.

Well I will tell you.....I look into the eyes of my children and my loved ones and I see a lifetime! Being old with gray hair, enjoying the fresh air not through a oxygen mask. Watching my grandchildren come over with my great grandchildren. All though I am not sure that the temptation will ever subside but I am sure of one thing and just one thing.....I want to go on my own terms and not by the terms of a love affair gone wrong. So for now I will not go borrowing trouble I will enjoy my life and hope that the years of my affair have not already proven damaging to my future. If the enemy lines happen to spill over into my new life free from addiction I will be ready and strong to fight against it. Strenght, Love, Courage, and Hope can mean more than just fighting cancer....its a way to live your life for everything you battle!

....The stars are stacked against you girl...get back in bed!

2010-10-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a really rough day for me. I am not sure what was going on. I thought it was a full moon or something. It went like this. I woke up at 6:30am which is later than I like to get up but I was tired and didnt sleep so well that night. I immediately showered, got dressed, grabbed my coffee that B makes for me every morning now (I love his new job) and I went right down to the daycare to start my day! I am fortunate enough to have 3 great kids who are VERY self sufficiant! They get up at 6:30am as well and start getting ready for school and take care of each other YES that is wonderful :). The daycare kids start to arrive J & T, Then G, and Then C. Well I look at the clock it is 8:15am and we need to leave for the bus stop! I gathered all the kids upstairs in a line at the door and guess what..I FORGOT to pack Nics lunch!!! I run into the kitchen throw together his lunch (thankful for my crazy ass organization that drives my family crazy, but my snacks for lunches are already pre packaged in containers in the cabinets or basket or fridge)! PHEW...lunch done in under a minute! Run to the basket I keep my keys....NO KEYS! Mind you I have to be at the bus stop by 8:27 to make sure we dont miss the bus! I run frantically through my house! I just had then the night before! I call B....he hasnt seen them! I am now flipping out!!! I call my MIL and she offers me her car (One of the moments having you IL's right next door I am glad for) I get the kids outside...Mind you there is 7 of them! We run next door and my MIL kept the 3 non schoolers and I took my three plus C to the bus stop and we JUST made it! Not even there for a whole minute! I go and pick up the 3 I have all day and we head back to my house!

Shortly, after arriving back at the daycare and settling in my new 2 year old twins arrived D & M and then followiing them was T another 2 year old. I am now entertaining and teaching (4yr old, 3-2yr olds, 2-1 yr olds!) Normal Day so not bad. I am thinking the hecticness of the morning was over and now it was time to enjoy the rest of my day. TOTALLY WRONG!!! I am having a battle royale of 2 year olds right now all stacking after the dominate claim to my toys. What one has the other wants and I have a 1 yr old who cannot communicate so he screetches and screams to get what he wants...This is where my job of learning to redirect comes in handy! So for about an hour I redirected all of the kids atleast 3 times!!! I was done redirecting and knowing that I was gonna be rained inside today I took them all outside and my vocabulary became.....Using the names of the children first......GET DOWN, FEET ON THE GROUND PLEASE, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF, DO WE CLIMB OVER THE TOYS?, PLEASE DONT TAKE, SHARE THE CAR, HOW DO WE GO DOWN THE SLIDE, PLEASE USE THE LADDER WE DONT CLIMB UP A SLIDE, OKAY NOW YOU GO TO TIME OUT, PLEASE JOIN SO AND SO IN TIME OUT! I dont think I actually stopped talking the WHOLE time we were outside. GrantedIi work with children under 4 all day every day but this was NOT like them.

Then the drama unfolds yet again. I called another provider for some back up advice and taking a quick moment to get a grasp on the situation and some clarity and cheerleadding (we need that sometimes in this line of work) and when I placed the call it was 11:30.....Well after giving her the OMG I am having a bad day speal...I looked at the clock...11:53!!!! I have to be at the bus stop to get C at 11:50....I am now in a FULL FLEDGED Panic attack worried I missed the bus...I call my MIL cause I still cant find my keys and honestly didnt have time to look. She runs out and starts her car meanwhile I am trying to get 6 kids to mive faster than they do and run to my MIL's to get her car and go get C. Well they choose to look at the trees, pick up acorns, notice a squirrel all while I am losing my ond that C was gonna be takin back to the school cause I didnt get out there in time. I finally get all 6 onto the porch and I jump in the car and RACE to the bus stop! LITERALLY going WAY faster than I should have on my road! I get to the bus stop and THANKFULLY the bus passes my street TWICE! So I did actually miss it but caught her on the flip side. I crossed the street to get C and told the driver i was SO SORRY she said it was fine she turns around anyway and it was all good. I get C and head back to get the other 6 waiting for him to arrive.

Now, I start preparing lunch and 3 of the 7 are tired at this point and are crying and whinning and fighting and hitting all over again while I am ttrying to prepare lunch....At this point I have very little patience hanging on for dear life! I turn on a movie and said for all of them to sit and not move! It was miracle...THEY DID! Well I get lunch made and start to set the table. I am currently tranitioning a 15motnh old to the big kid side and set him a place at the table not the high chair (Its a preschool table very low) After everyone potties and washed hands they one by one gather at the table. I go to lift said 15mth old to the table and put him in his chair he puts his foot into his food plate and before I get him up...he spills it ALL OVER HIS CHAIR!!! I think I this point I maybe have raised and octive or 2 and said Son of a GUN! I think I wanted to cry because that was just the day I had been having...I get him out of the way clean up him and the mess and then I make him a new plate and sit him back down watching his feet. They eat quiet;y and I prepare for naptime!

NAPTIME!!!! I cleaned up from lunch and thankfully they were all exhausted and fell right to sleep. i started working on my Relay for Life stuff and was happy to report I had booked our Bowlathon and confirmed more stuff for our bakesale this weekend and i felt like all was right with the world.

NAPTIME IS OVER! Now this is usually another hectic time..putting awaythe cots getting everyone snacks and doing afternonn circle time! It went well the kids were singing "5 little pumpkins and one eyed one horn flying purple people eater" and I was enjoying the moment! Well then its free play till pick up and i was trying to get everyone packed up making sure cups, blankets, everything is good to go....then we go outside...Well before we can go outside I have a 2yr old and a 15mth old battle for the play kitchen and D shoves G down and as he falls he smacks his head on the table my turtle tank sits on! I freak out and say a quick "please dont let there be blood prayer" and grab G up and make sure he is ok....I fussed at D and ut him in time out for shoving and hurting and then I proceeded to the bathroom to check out G and make sure he is okay....I hear D talking I look out the door and he is out of time out and running around again. I caught his attention and tell him to get back in time out his 2 minutes were not up yet....He then at that moment LOSES HIS MIND! CRYING CRYING CRYING....G is still crying from the head bump and now I have 2 crying children and guess what it is....YUP PICK UP TIME! I have 3 parents walk in to get the kids and I have 2 crying kids and 3 VERY excited to see thier parents kids so there is now crying, squealing, mommy mommy mommy look look look....Ddaddy daddy daddy are we leaving...OMG CRAZINESS!!!! All while D is crying of course the parents are looking he sees them and amplifies his cry....My rule with Timeout is its a place to think and collec yourself you cant get up till you calm down. You cant explain the behavior if the child is upset. So I finally look at him and say D...if you just stop crying you can get out....HE STOPS stands up and walks to me. I told him to keep his hands to his self and he hugged G and kissed his boo....about that time MY KIDS come home from school and Shay walks in BAWLING her eyes out! She had been picked on on the bus!!! OMFG...I need a drink! I finally get Shay calmed down and I get the remainder f the kids outside and it was pretty okay after that.

One of my best friends whom is also a daycare provider (who I called earlier) is moving tomorrow to Arizona. I had plans to drink sime wine and spend time with her before she leaves...I arrived proceeded to give her the run down of the day and telling her how bad I need this night! about that time her daughter comes in and says "Mommy that big girl is crying in the sandbox" I look ITS BRI....Shay accidentally hit her with a shovel in the face and got sand in her eye....I decided she would live and DRANK.....Whats 4 bottles of wine among 3 friends :) Hoping today is a better day!

Romance and the Puffer Fish!

2010-10-11T10:52:00.000-07:00

The story of a married couple seeking some romantic alone time watching a sunset...and having a moment interrupted by a Johnny Crain and a Puffer Fish!

So B and I had my mom keep the kids and we went down to the beach at the campgrounds to watch the sunset and maybe sneak in a quick little crazy make out session :) Well it started like this....

Awwwwww cute right! Who wouldnt want to kiss with a skyline like this..

Well....its must also be feeding time for the Johnny Crains as well....B and I saw one land on the rocks off the shoreline. We watched it for a minute hopping around and thought for a minute about how cool they are and B did his King of the Hill....I can heal you Wooolllooooo looooo loooooo thing he always does when he sees one. Well my photography brain kicked into overdrive and all I had was my stupid cell phone but wanted a cute picture of our intertwinded feet and the sunset in the background! Apparently even B's feet are not photogenic...he was being ridiculous and laying in the sand not cooperating and as I laughed at him and punched him around in the sand (playfully of course) I noticed the crain was flying with something in its mouth. I told B to "Look the crain has something in its mouth!!!" He looks up about the time what was hanging out of the mouth of the crain drops to the ground! It made this hollowed out 'THUD" sound, I looked at B and said "What the hell is that" it looked like a ball bouncing on the ground and rolling...The crain landing right beside it. B says lets go check it out. So we get up and run down the beach like playfull teenagers racing to get there first and I was the FIRST to arrive. I see it and it looks like a white textured ball so I leaned over it closer to get a better look I told B "It looks like a ball of some sort??? and then it happened...It made a like spitting/hissing sound I screamed and Ran Like Megan in a clown house! Yelling as I ran down the beach squealing and jumping around ...IT HISSED AT ME AHHHHHHHHH OMG ( insert heebie jeebies dance) and B laughs and walks up to it and says...What the Hell is it?? Meanwhile I am still in the background doing the heebie jeebie dance and Brian is grabing a stick to inspect the alien that fell from the sky. Me (from a safer distance says..What is it?) B turns and says "ITS A PUFFER FISH!" A puffer WHAT I said....he says a Puffer Fish! I now walk closer and look at it with B. and here we are poking it...

And then B picked it up with one of the contraptions he always has in his pocket so I could get a better look at it!

It was a real live puffer fish! It was kinda cool minus the whole hissing and spitting thing. But it was trying to deflat...so we saved it and B threw it back into the water where it floated for a minute still hissing and spitting like a balloon with the end squeezed open and then all of a sudden...it deflated and swam away! So we marveled in the weirdness that our romantic evening had turned into the rescue of a strange fish. But then again how can you let a moment like this go to waste...so we watched the sun set melt in to the river and we snuggled and played around like teenagers (fun stuff not dirty you crazy people). Took in the moment and enjoyed each other and the amazing view in front of us....

Going....

Going....

Almost.......

GONE!!!!!!

Marriage Counceling........Negotiated Time Out!

2010-10-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

So B and I attend Marriage Counseling......What of it? I am talking every tuesday, couch, therapist, a easel where she writes ladders and scales about behavior, she had a clipboard (that i wish I could see how crazy she really thinks I am LOL) and crazy crazy moments where she makes us look at each other and talk....That is alittle rough but TOTALLY WORTH IT! What is so Tabooo about counceling?? I see it as a sign of how much we love each other...we hit a really rough patch, divorce was SERIOUSLY considered but you know what.........I LOVE HIM.....and what is SO wrong about taking steps to secure a stronger, healthier, and (I can say this now) HAPPIER marriage. I really think 90% of my friends would benefit from what we are learning! BUT I had to share this ONE of the many steps we have taken because honestly I FREAKIN LOVE THIS!!!!!!

NEGOTIATIONED TIME OUT!!

The point of this tool to avoid the unnecessary and HURTFUL things we as humans do to hurt our partner in the heat of an argument. Its a way to become rational in a irrational moment. As soon as you feel that your situation is escalating here is what you do........

STEP ONE

One person calls a timeout. The other has to honor this request!! (if your man or yourself are a follower, there is always one. Mine is Brian this is a somewhat hard part)

STEP TWO

Both AGREE to separate for 30 minutes to 3 hours. During this separation, each agrees to calm down about the situation. This can include going for a walk, journaling, taking a hot bath etc...(In my case call my BFF Sarah Lynn and scream till I feel better about how much I dislike him at the moment) Each is to tell the other where they will be during the break.

I like this part...I feel like I can reassess the fight and consider myself as the one who is over reacting. 99% of the time I am LOL!

STEP THREE

At the end of time, both check in with each other to make sure both feel calm enough to be together. If not.....wait longer!

If it takes the full 3 hours to cool down and your anything like us....busy busy busy that its even hard to have a fight you need to find time to set aside to figure out the solution. If you have time to do it right then and there and YOU ARE CALM AND RATIONAL then do it then if not......

STEP FOUR (This is another hard step if your one of those dont let the sun go down on your anger people)

Agreement is reached that both will sit down and discuss the issue/s within the next few days....NO LONGER THAN 7 days for the sit down. If you have to out it on your calendar then DO IT.

If you let it go to long then you will never fix it and then problem will just compound on top of older problems and this creates more problem because you resentment builds on top of that. Not to mention if you are not dealing with the problems and making your spouse aware of what is happening then the problem will NEVER get fixed.....BELIEVE ME! I KNOW THIS..........

STEP FIVE

You sit down and talk about what happened. This can suck but I have found when I am no longer angry I can see his point or make mine easier than yelling it at him.

Can I just say this ONE tool is helping my family so MUCH. My kids even notice and say..Mommy and Daddy hardly fight anymore...I am not saying that we dont but I am saying that we fight better and its usually just a disagreement that turns to quiet time and then a discussion! Who doesnt want to raise their children in a household where they see you resolve your conflict and the RIGHT way to do it. Our thereapist brought up a good point one night she asked if we ever apologize in front of our kids when they see us fight....We answered NOPE! She said now ask your self.....When you saw your parents fighting or heard them, Did you ever hear them apologize to each other.... I will also leave you with that thought..........

I have a confession and a BIG CHALLENGE ahead of me...

2010-09-27T10:37:00.000-07:00

SO I am a SMOKER.....There I said it....A nasty filthy SMOKER....Mostly a closet, yet social smoker. I have had friends say...I had no idea you are a smoker? I often answer "Well its usually at night after my kids are in bed or sometimes at the end of the day when my daycare kids leave,or Mostly if I am out drinking! What started as a casual, social bad habit has turned into a full fledged ADDICTION! Its weird I can go four or five days and not smoke then all of a sudden I need one...But then I will smoke a WHOLE pack in a day! Its a very confusing crazy addiction. Most smoker friends say that if I can go even a day I can quit..its also my vice on how I deal with stress. I get angry, frustrated, sad, happy, honestly its become apart of my phone conversations how do I stop???? Well now I am being faced with a bet....

Last June I formed a Relay for Life American Cancer Society Team in honor of my sister who was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer. As I walked around and celebrated, remembered, and honored those who won the battle against cancer, those who lost and the current warriors and it was a very humbling day! I decided in that moment that this coming year...June 2011 I was gonna ROCK the event! Since June 2010 I have been planning and brainstorming all kinds of ideas..I already have my tent set up planned and all the activities and supplies I need have been written down and lists are made and a BIG fundraiser is in the works! I am also excited the Brian can join this year and not have to work! Brian has been riding this ride with since June and laughs at my crazy ideas and gives my ideas on how to raise lots and lots of money towards our team but MORE IMPORTANTLY to raise money towards Relay for Life. Well he decided to other night he was going to do his OWN fundraiser. We were 266 days away from Relay 2011 and he hit me with......How about I will donate 1.00 a DAY for everyday that you don't smoke! It has to be continuous and if you start...ITS DONE! If you last 2 day its 2 bucks you last 10 is 10 dollars but if you make it to relay its 266 dollars for your team! Well I had to finish my pack I had just bought so I did just that...I finished it on day 265!

Its been 2 days since I have smoked and I am consuming MASSIVE amounts of chocolate!! Then this morning Brian sweetened to the pot and said he would DOUBLE the amount if I stay not smoking... That is $530.00!!!! I need to do this....I don't want cancer........But I just may become a huge FAT COW with a bad attitude whom may hurt my husband when my FULL FLEDGED Nicotine withdraw kicks in......Does anyone have any ideas NOT using gum or patches to help cure my itch of smoking...I hate to be challenged..Oh and I HATE to Lose!

Daddy...I HAVE TO POOP REAL BAD!

2010-09-21T10:21:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhhh just another one of those memories you will carry forever and laugh at HYSTERICALLY for the rest of your life!

Last night we were doing what we always do...running the roads. Brianna has Soccer and Shailyn had Cheerleading (thankfully at the same park just different fields). B had taken Nic to the park to play with another little boy who is around the same age. Nic was running around running around and more running around when he came to a sudden STOP! He look at B with this crazy look and yelled "Daddy I have to Poop REAL BAD" B said "okay buddy lets go" Nic yells again..."Daddy I gotta go REEEEEEEAL BAAAAAAD" and takes off running across the parking lot. B said when he looked up Nic was literally running with his hand clasping his butt cheeks together. B said at that point he lost it!! He laughed so hard and then a lady in the parking lot looked up and saw Nic hauling ass all while holding his but cheeks together. She looked at B who was laughing uncontrollably! She said " Oh my some one needs to go potty really bad!" This caused B to lose his mind in laughter.

Nic finally arrrives at the bathroom and pulls the door open and runs inside. B also takes the oppurtunity to go into the bathroom beside Nic and also potty. B is using the facilities and he hears Ni yelling from the next bathroom.."DADDY....I NEED HELP!!!" B yells back "Alright I am going pee to buddy I will be right there"....

B gets in to the bathroom and finds Nic standing in the bathroom with a look of HORROR and he said "Daddy I dont know what to do about this?" B looked and realized Nic never made it to the bathroom in time. All his effort and he had a opps!

B said all he could do was laugh and Nic was horrified he had to go commando the remainder of the night!

I really wish I could have seen thesight that it was of Nic holding his butt running for his little life...........

Mommy needs a time out!

2010-05-06T11:12:00.000-07:00

Are we even allowed to take those?

Sometimes I feel like the stress of 3 kids, house, full time job, and husband are to much to bare. I tend to let the little things flip me over the border of rational to not so rational in a matter of seconds! So I have decided that when I act like my kids and have a temper tantrum (which I do rather well if I do say so myself) I need to put myself in "time out".

As a mother/wife are we allowed to take ourselves out of a situation and have a time out? I find that if I can walk away from a situation a breathe I can sometimes handle the situation better. I just need to negotiate the terms of my time out I think a glass of wine while sitting there would be pure torture! But a necessary punishment!

Okay, being serious now. Can we as parents do this? Would our children learn more self control by mimicking our behaviors if they see us removing ourselves from a situation that could escalate into a free for all word throwing rampage! I believe that teaching the children to walk away and collect their thoughts inside their head and have a more calm approach to the situation. I know when I get super angry I tend to say things I don't mean (only to my husband of course) if I get a time out...that wont happen!

I guess we will just have to see if this works and I an ashamed to say...I hope I get time outs alot...because I could totally use a break!

Another Happy Birthday Birth Story!

2010-05-04T06:13:00.001-07:00

Today is my middle child's 8th Birthday! Anyone who knows me (which most of my readers don't) knows that Shailyn was the labor of all labors...I SERIOUSLY think she wanted to kill me from the inside out! A quick back story...I was in a car accident at 15wks with Shay, 9 weeks later I had a whole day with no movement...I went to the hospital..they find her heartbeat (thank god) but hook me up for a bit to monitor her only to find I was contracting...this started a long stint of pre term labor and many weeks of BED REST! At 32 weeks I had just a normal day of preterm contractions and irritability only to find by night time it was worse...I went to the hospital I was contracting 2-3 minutes and they managed to stop it with the Trabutiline shots in my arms....The next morning I went down for a sono to make sure she was ok...I started contracting every 2 minutes....get back to my room...I WAS DIALATED...cervical change at 32 weeks not good....2 days hospitalized on magnesium sulfate....BLOWS...But no baby so that was a BIGGER BLESSING! at 37 weeks...they took me off all medications and said....have at it....have your baby when you want!

May 3, 2002- I had lost my mucus plug 2 days earlier and the doctor said...24-48hrs till I could possibly go into labor and I was already 3cm dialated. Well all day I had this horrible pressure feeling. It was almost like there was something in there...she had descended to the birth canal is all it was. Well Brian and I were suppose to go pick up a pool table in LaPlata which is a hour away and it was the weekend after the horrible F5 Tornado had ripped through the small town and I wasn't necessarily ready to see my hometown torn to shreds plus I was scared to go that far away from the hospital! I decided to stay with my mom and go shopping 5 minutes from the hospital. We went to the furniture store and I kept telling her I thought my water was going to break my pressure was getting worse...she said "DO NOT SIT ON ANYTHING"...real nice huh? Well nothing happened....We went home and then met up with Brian and my step dad at my house later....I looked at my mom and said you better go home and get some sleep I will be calling you later!! She said okay we will see!

Brian and I finally got to bed about 11....I looked at him and said "I think I am going to go into labor! Wanna get the ball rolling seeing as it will be six weeks...you better take it now why you can get it!" well bow chicka wow wow.....

A fell asleep around 12..

1:52am.....I sat straight up in bed with that Oh My GOD breathe breathe breathe....
swatting at Brian....Ummmmmmmmmm Holy Shit.......Fuck me Fuck me Fuck me....it worked and ummmmmmmmm......this is not good!!!

Brian wakes up and see's I am in PAIN.... he kinda freaks....2 minutes later....HOLY FUCK! here comes another one....OMG OMG OMG I hit my knees laying my head on the bed, breathe breathe breathe.....

It passes....I look at Brian...WE NEED TO GO! Like an hour ago...maybe doing that was not such a good idea! this is WAY different then with Bri....I am hurting...like I was at 8cm with Bri.....We NEED TO GO! He calls his parents and tells them we are on our way to drop off Bri and head to the hospital!

We get in the car to go to the in laws and thankfully just down the street in the neighborhood because I didn't even put Bri in her car seat I put her on my lap to lesson the time...We arrive at his parents and for some strange reason I thought it would be okay to carry Bri into the house...Apparently Labor Brain....is not the common sense part of the brain...Half way up the sidewalk....I get another contraction...this one worse than before...My knees buckle and Brians dad walks out...I am yelling.......I AM GOING DOWN OMG GRAB BRI GRAB BRI.....He runs grabs her right before I hit the ground here I am on all fours rocking and breathing through the contraction right on the sidewalk in front of his house...NICE!

We leave quickly because I honestly thought she was going to come out in the car I laid on my side grabbing Brians arm with EVERY painful contraction that was hitting me every 2 minutes! I cried (which I did not once with Bri all natural) the pain was way different and much more worse than I remembered with Bri...we get to the hospital and I couldn't even walk to L&D...I needed a stupid wheelchair....

We arrive in Labor and Delivery about 4am....getting out of the house was longer than I wrote....I had to work through ALOT of contractions at home...They check me and the nurse says ok honey your about 3-4cm....I looked at her and I said WHAT?!?!?!? She said yeah your probably not going anywhere but its gonna be a while....DUMB BITCH was all I could think...she is lying to me....this pain is crazy...

I got up out of the bed because I don't labor well laying down in a bed..I like to be up and walking and moving plus my BACK was KILLING ME! Little did I know Shay was turned wrong...

I needed to go to the bathroom and the nurse walked in to get some more information and I was in the bathroom...I sat down and the all you heard was the sound of me peeing...but....I wasn't peeing....I yelled out to the nurse...Ummmmmmm My water just broke....she said....Are you sure? Yes....cant your hear it I cant pee that long......she says well you are staying....that was 5:15am....and my pain got even more worse than it was!

I am laboring pretty good at this point the pain is still horrific...I felt like I needed brian to punch my tail bone....I kept leaning over the bed asking Brian to take his fist and PUSH really hard on my tail bone and lower back...that seemed to be the only thing that helped my pain! He was scared to push...I was at this point losing my patience with him and I asked him again....PUSH HARDER BRIAN JESUS...Then I got frustrated and said Fuck it! I will labor on my own. A few minutes later I am dying literally or so I felt anyways and I look over at Brian and he was....you would never believe.....SLEEEEEEEEPING! I LOST IT! I yelled at him.....Brian what do you think you are doing? He said What? and then the words you NEVER say to a women in labor......I AM TIRED!!!...Those were words for murder! Seriously! If I didn't need the fluids I would have wrapped my IV tube around his neck and choked the life out of him! If looks could have killed,....he would have been dead! I looked at him and I said (very nasty) How the FUCK do you think I feel!!" This was not a good situation thank GOD my doctor walked in....I was crying....losing my focus because Brian was pissing me off I couldn't manage my pain and this...totally sucked!

its now 6:30am and my doctor decided he would check me to see if I was making any progress....He checks and I was ONLY 5cm......at this point I LOST IT! My doctor GOD LOVE HIM....sat down on my bed as I was sobbing uncontrollably because the pain was more intense than I had experienced before..he took my hand..looked me in my eyes and said "Shannon, I think over the course of the last 16 weeks we have developed a relationship...more so than just doctor/patient...I would like to consider myself your friend, and as your friend I CANT STAND to see you in this much pain, I know you are a all natural no pain medication person but I cant stand to see you like this and technically Can you do this for another 5 minutes?" through my crying I said no I cant but if I get the epidural I am SUCH A FAILURE! I looked at Brian because he knows my belief and he put his hands up and said "Oh hell no I am out of this because I am not going to make that decision, it is for you to make..I will not be blamed either way" I looked at my doctor and I mummered ok...I will do it!

He leaves the room only to return and say "We have a problem" The anesthesiologist is in Hughesville and it will take him about 20 minutes" I said Ummmm NO I want this epidural and I want it NOW...I had already let myself believe that I was going to have some relief what else can I do? Can I get in the shower I heard that helps with back labor? He said "Go for it!"

Brian helped my up and helped my into the shower. Something changed in me chanded when I got up...Once again little did I know Shay Flipped to face down position....

I am sitting in the shower and I put my head back on the wall and was taking in the calming feeling of the shower. Then all of a sudden out of NOWHERE I felt the urge to push....I was JUST told I was 5cm....there was no way I was ready to have her...But I really felt like I needed to just bare down...you moms know that I have to take a shit feeling...Brian looked at me and he said...Are you pushing? (grunting) NO, Yes you are what are you doing? Brian shut up I just feel like I need to push a little! He said..GET OUT OF THE SHOWER SHANNON this isn't funny. I looked at him and I said (grunting again..another contraction) Brian SHUT UP....about that time the floor of the shower filled up with blood Brian Freaked and said Ok you are getting out.....get out NOW!!!

Apparently my doctor could hear all of this and he looked at the nurse and said, "we are going to have a baby by shift change (7am) the nurse said you just checked her and she was 5 NO WAY I don't believe you...he replied "Listen to her...when she is talking and crying she is grunting....listen...."

Meanwhile, I am climbing out of the shower when I get hit with a big wave of PAIN..I buried my face in Brians chest grabbing skin in my clutches (which is painful for Brian but honestly the tittie twisting feeling was nothing on the crotch burning I was feeling) I started this yelling type moaning thing not screaming just more like a roar into Brians chest...Shay was right on the verge of coming out...I was at this point standing so the gravity pull was fueling the pain. It passes I walk to the bed and the nurse is standing there she says "I need to explain the risks of an epidural" I looked at her and in my pain I said.....You can tell me I will FUCKING DIE and I will sign that paper! When is the doctor going to get here...I cant take this anymore....(ha ha ha to me) I signed the paper and it looked like a ghost because I was shaking UNCONTROLLABLY (Transitioning anyone)

I sat down on the bed and I looked at the nurse and all I could yell was "OMG....I CANT GET THE EPIDURAL!!!!!!!" She said Why? I said SHE IS COMING NOOOOOOOW!! I had done this before so I knew what to do I grabbed my legs pulled those jokers back and I PUSHED like I had never pushed before....The nurse lifted my gown and started YELLING STOP STOP STOP STOP....DON'T PUSH SHE IS CROWNING...STOP STOP STOP....DR SBROCCO....GET IN HERE NOW!!!!!
She put her hands over me....that was not a good idea....I looked at her and I said...(God I am bitch)...IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS FROM OFF MY CROTCH I AM GOING TO KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE!!!!!! She had her hand on me HOLDING Shay in....REALLY??? Has anyone else given birth Naturally?? You know you CANNOT control that urge to PUSH..and this bitch is HOLDING HER IN!!! She told me to blow...Again...Natural...this DOES NOT WORK on someone who had already lost all control over her emotions and focus..

The doctor comes in..I said TELL HER TO GET OFF ME OR I AM GOING TO PHYSICALLY HURT HER...Dr Sbrocce (god love him again) said Shannon calm down breath I need to get set up...Just blow blow blow and I will go as fast as I can...Meanwhile....I am on FIRE....Again, with the all natural child birth....the ring of fire is NO joke!!! Your stuff is on FIRE LITERALLY and the nurse is holding Shay's head right at the point of FIRE...I could feel my self almost to the point of tearing..but not tearing...PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN....I looked at my doctor and cried out...PLEASE YOUR GONNA KILL ME...I NEED TO GET HER OUT!!!! YOU KNOW I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING..JUST GET HER OUT!!!! He said okay let me get my gloves on...That was all I gave him..his gloves....and I pushed....

At 6:52am 22minutes past being told I had 5 hours to go and was only 5 cm dilated my baby girl entered this world in all her beauty and calmness (she wasn't breathing) The next few minutes are a blur....I was EXHAUSTED and TRAUMATIZED by this fast delivery..I laid there...almost passing out vaguely remembering saying...Why isn't she crying? Is she ok? Finally after a few minutes (thank god for shift change she had about 7 nurses working on her) she cried! Her apgars we low but she finally let out her big huge cry and all I could do was cry! They wrapped her up and Oh my was she tiny...but the most Beautiful thing I had ever SEEN! All 6lb 15oz of her!

Today 8 yrs later Shailyn Alicia is the most vivacious child...who loves everyone, the most caring child I have, and absolutely beautiful inside and out! Happy Birthday Shailyn! I would do you birth a million times over...just to make sure I had you in my life every day!

Today!

10 Things I learned camping in the backyard with my kids...

2010-05-03T10:44:00.000-07:00

So Saturday Brian and I decided that we would have a free mini vacation right in out own backyard! We had it all...Blankets, Tent, Books, Lantern and SMORES! While we were laying down and it was dark was when the real fun began...

10. Nic can speak frog! The bullfrogs were on a rampage and Nic so nice wanted them to be quiet and said he could tell them to be quiet...Goes to the screen and says....Ribibibibibib It.....(pause) the frogs still croaking......They cant hear me through the screen!

9. Mommy did you know that spider monkeys can shoot webs from their mouth.....Ummmmm Nope sure didn't but I do now!

8. Daddy our Guinea Pig is pregnant....Oh yeah how do you know? She has nipples....and babies come from nipples....(ummmmmm?????)

This opened a can of worms...

7. Mommy did you know that when Tigers have babies....they come out of their butt and hang from umbilical cords...(Me) I don't think they come out of the butt?? Yes they do I saw it on Animal Channel and it was definitely from the butt what else is under the tail?...

Not to self....NO MORE ANIMAL CHANNEL!

6. The big dipper is not as easy to explain as most people think.

5. Nic is a monster to sleep beside...I think I lost more than one handful of hair!

4. The sounds that you hear in your backyard can lead your imagination to a whole new world that can actually freak you out a bit!

3. My kids know all the words by heart to the Phineaus and Ferb disney cartoon theme song..(that was my lullaby)

2. Even though it seems like a good idea to leave the rain cover off so you can stare up at th stars through screened in roof of the tent....When it rains at 5:30am.....It really wasn't such a good idea!

and the most fascinating.....

1. I love my family so much! They are my heart and soul and the only reason why I breathe...You don't have to spend any money just pitch and tent in the back yard and let the good times and laughter roll!! L.O.V.E = T.I.M.E not money!

What a fantastic weekend....Concured some things..

2010-04-27T06:59:00.001-07:00

I had a great weekend with the kids this weekend everyone behavior was on par! The girls had a birthday party at a location that is a HUGE patience tester..Its where "A kid can be a kid" and Parents want to hang themselves! Oh yeah, I am talking about Chuck E Cheese! WOW is all I can say do parents just walk in the door and say "RUN WILD MY CHILDREN AND RESPECT NO ONE GO HAVE FUN MOM IS DRINKING BEER IN THE CORNER!" I just don't think manners is a word that is used there. My kids did great though Nic got lost briefly in the hamster tubes (that's what I call them) The girls stayed together in the arcade getting those stupid paper tickets to get a 1 dollar junk toy for 80 tickets! But I have to say it was fun! I took Nic to the arcade and let him play skee ball....I probably should have explained the idea of the game...Nic grabbed the ball and OVER hand through the ball to the end...Although he made it in the 30,000 it wasn't appropriate!

The prize counter.....

JUNK JUNK JUNK JUNK.....Really???? One person with 100 kids all saying I want the snake worth 20 tickets...BUT...I want the purple snake with PINK polka dots...UGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! Finally after about 40 minutes my kids got what they wanted or what they could get with the tickets and we were off to Build A Bear!

We get to the mall and it wasn't to bad...We had to wait outside of Build A Bear for the party time and Nic was really the tag a long that day so I got the girls situated and I left them in the hands of the party throwers and I took Nic shopping! Well not really....

I took him to the indoor play area and let him run around and I watched him and his imagination soar....He got in the canoe and pretended to row it...That was funny to watch and I was a little shocked that he knew what "rowing"was! After a while I told him it was time to go and he had 5 more minutes..he ran around and did all the final things he wanted to do and when I out my "time is up" hand in the air he came running! Put his shoes on and sanitized his hands and we were off...We held hands and walked the mall he NEVER complained...I took him to the Lego store and bought him a little 10 dollar lego set for being SO FREAKIN GOOD! He hugged that thing like it was going to run away and that made me smile :)

We walked back to the store to get his sisters and had to wait briefly why they finished up. When they were done we took Bri to Borders to use a gift card she got for her birthday (her birthday was in February, tells you how often we go to the mall) Taking Bri into a bookstore is like taking a drug addict to pharmacy and saying take your pick! That was a frustrating ordeal! She wants so many books but had 25 dollars to spend! I am thinking a Kindle is in her future! Then she had 68 dollars to spend on clothes...of course it had to be at Justice..

We walk into the store and Nic has to pee...Brianna is steady shopping and I had a major decision to make..she is 10 and wants some freedom but I am a paranoid overbearing even more overprotective mother! Nic is now bouncing and holding himself and Brianna is in the ZONE! What do I do.....

Well......I left Brianna in the store...took Shay and Nic and bolted for the bathroom 3 stores down! I think I had lost my mind briefly....But I gave her super strict instructions...DO NOT TALK TO STRANGERS, STAY IN THE STORE, and the most important DO NOT BUY ANYTHING TILL I LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE!! She laughed at me...I mean she really laughed at me and told me to go she was FINE! OYE! So I do and I run....literally...... Shay and Nic potty and we run back to the store..

She was fine of course even though her mouth is insane she really is a super smart super good kid! She had 2 t shirts and a jean skirt in her hand...I looked at the prices and I said "Um Bri this comes to like 66, 67 dollars are you sure you only want these 3 things for this much money...she said yes can I afford it?? I said well I am not good with math in my head but I think you just may make it...we hit the register and her total came to...remember she only had 68...TOTAL...$67.51!!! Phhhhhew! She just made it, had change and still left with a dollar in her wallet! Smart girl!

After that we headed home and I was happy with how good the kids were and how everyone listened and it was a good day! I just wish everyday was this good!

Defiance.......I will take you down if it KILLS ME!

2010-04-23T10:21:00.000-07:00

Every parent I think reaches a milestone in their parenting journey that puts them at a crossroad. What road do you take...

I am having some issues with all 3 of my children honestly. Its like the trickle down effect, what one does they all do. Unfortunately for me this is the big fat "D" word yeah I said it DEFIANCE! I run my house on a VERY strict policy of "What I say goes and no if, ands, or buts about it! When I tell you to do something don't give me the whole BUT.....WHY......SHE NEVER...HE NEVER...blah blah blah you better just do it. Well these days....that's all I am getting!

I get so angry I scream and yell and feel the overwhelming need to smack them right in the mouth! The attitudes and the eyes rolling and the constant Humpf I get with everything I ask them to do is really about to push me over the edge.

They will ask to play in the back yard I will say sure BUT STAY IN THE BACKYARD...10 minutes later..I see one riding their back down the road OUT FRONT! How do I handle this? I have taken the bikes, I have done restriction, and even taken outdoor privileges away but apparently...they just DON'T CARE! I have always been a advocate of "Appropriate spanking" I sometimes think that kids need a stronger form of discipline then just the soft spoken "That does not make mommy very happy" BULLSHIT talking to your kids. I see parents everyday reasoning with their 3 year old and trying the nice approach and the kids are HORRIBLE HORRIBLE brats who no one can stand to be around and I refuse to have someone feel that way about my kids. I cant wait to see these preschool/toddlers who are running the lives of their parents turn 15! Your child cant over power you at 3 but as they get bigger....they will! One thing I have learned is if you give a 2/3 yr old a INCH those jokers take 100 MILES! Kids need discipline and they need rules and boundaries.

I just don't know what to do about this anymore....I refuse to be one of those pushover parents!

The other night Bri was getting really nasty with her siblings and I don't allow disrespect in my house on any level and that goes for my kids to. I told her if I heard it again she would write 500 times...I will not disrespect my brother and sister

Well I don't think she thought I was serious....

I caught her being horrible to her brother and guess what...

She lost ALL household privledges until she completed her writing (500) I will not disrespect my brother and sister.

She was non to happy but it didnt work so do I up it to 750, 1000, 1250, 1500...when is enough enough...

I have tried to talk to her and all she says is they get on her nerves ugh I have to figure this all out!

I am so tired of the rule breaking, arguing, screaming, crying, whining etc etc etc going on in this house...I will win this...I hate losing!

Sports Superstition and the Playoff Beard!

2010-04-21T07:22:00.001-07:00

What is it with sports and superstition that I am actually a believer?! So anyone who knows me know that my B and I are HUGE Caps fans! Not the bandwagon...Hey a DC team worth a shit kinda fan but rel actually before they were good fans! B took me to my first hockey game in 2000 I was never really a fan of hockey actually I had never even watched a game. We took my brother Brandon and my sister Melissa and I have never had such a rush or surge of adrenaline during a spot in my whole life! At that moment I was HOOKED! I saw Peter Bondra score a Hat Trick....Olie Kolzig was one of the hottest sports players I had ever seen and the game itself was AMAZING!

Well 10 years later the Caps are in the Playoffs for the 3rd time and this is it! This should be the year for the Stanley Cup! Everyone is doing the whole...not washing the underwear and wearing them during the game, Put my hat on inside out and the famous....beardathon!!! Well anyone who knows my husband he is VERY facial hair challenged!! It grows not thick and sporadic and sometime a reddish color but he ALWAYS shaves it off because its funny looking!

Right before the first game of the playoffs B shaved......WE LOST! Well then this happened which brings me to my initial question....

We go to game 2 on Saturday......Brian had not shaved because i said lets see what happens....

The first 2 periods were HORRIBLE!!! We were down 4-1 Montreal was kicking our ass!! B and I always have this thing we "DO" of the Caps are losing it started last yar during the playoffs...If the Caps were down before the 3rd during the 20 minute intermission we would........Well.......Have sex! This has worked in the Caps favor MANY TIMES lol...now we have to! Well here we are at the Verizon Center and the Caps were being beat and we cant
1. Get to the Car (trashy I know but hey were married it brings excitement to the table LOL) It was to far away.
2. No storage closets LOL You guys may think I am joking but I am really not!

Were screwed (not literally unfortunately) and so are the Caps or so we thought!

The third period rolls around and the annoying guy who has sat in front of us all year (we have season tickets) gets up to get a beer. While he was gone the CAPS SCORED!! Our whole section wouldn't let him back up to his seat...they made him stay out in the food section to watch the game! One of my daycare parents text me that her hubby had NEVER watched hockey before and the past 2 games he had watch the Caps LOST! I asked her to tell him to turn the game off and no longer watch LOL Hysterical but superstition is superstition right!

Next, the other guy in front goes down to get a beer....Caps score again! So now we have 2 fans now NOT allowed to sit in their seats!! B and I are laughing at this whole situation...B has no idea that I remember that he hasn't shaved! I get a text message from a (Boooooooooooooo) Penguins fan and he is tonting my about the score and I have this thing I CANT TALK SHIT BEFORE OR DURING A GAME...in the past I have and they lost.... so this is a no go on the trash talk! I text my daycare parent and asked her if her hubby turned off the game she said YES! I said good we were winning!

Finally, one of the players scores a game tieing goal with just over a minute left in the game! (intense sport hence why I love it) All in all we went to overtime and one of the player 30seconds into the OT round scores a goal...not just any goal the game winning goal that was also his 3rd of the game which is a....HAT TRICK! It was crazy exciting!

Well we had another game on Monday and B asked me if he could shave...I said HELL NO! What happened we kicked ass yet again this time it was a blow out pretty much and now Brian is NOT allowed to shave.....We will see how funny looking he is by the time

we go to the Finals

I cant say that cause I will curse them......

The Challenge....

2010-04-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

So Sunday night after working in the garden all day I decided to take a nice long quiet hot bath (no laughing at me I know its only half true...quiet with 3 kids YEAH RIGHT). Well right as I shut the water off and I close my eyes to imagine that warm sun, white sandy beach, fruity drink with lots of alcohol and that sexy sun kissed body building waiter offering to rub lotion on my back...B walks in...I open my eyes...Cold bathroom with my hamper getting full, dirt on the floor from my feet cause I gardened in flip flops (note to self..don't do that your toes stay black and gross for days), My Dr Pepper on the side of the tub and B wearing work out clothes standing in the door way. Not exactly what I had going on with the eyes closed but hey THATS LIFE! B says "Hey I'm gonna go work out for a bit" I replied "I want a crab cake" where that came from I am not sure but i was sure that my long hot bath was over before it began if he was downstairs the kids would soon find the way up the steps and into my private fantasy! Damn the luck! B laughed and said I have a deal if you come downstairs and run a mile on the treadmill in UNDER 10 minutes I will go get you a crab cake but I am sure you cant so.....I will see you in a bit...

Wait did he just challenge me? REALLY??? Oh buddy those are some fighting words...I said oh yeah under 10...I get a crab cake? He said YUP! (He is smart I hate working out bribing is the only way to do that) The next thing I know I am out of the tub like a hair dryer was about to fall in it and I and looking for my workout clothes! B laughed because my running shoes that I have had for years are still clean! I get dressed and i look at him and say "Your going down fool" and I hit the workout room! On the treadmill I go and were off......

The first few minutes weren't bad I walked to warm my muscles I am walking at like 3 miles and hour...this is not going to get me in under 10 so I up to 4.5

I am now jogging at 4.5 mph...the damn clock says 17 minutes for a mile DAMN....

Up it to 5 mph now I am running...I mean running...The damn clock says 13 minutes for a mile....DAMN IT!! my legs are starting to burn and I look at B who is going to town on the bowflex I smile I will WIN! He glances over at me and laughs a bit cause he runs this thing everyday he knows I will NEVER make it in under 10! I keep pushing and pushing and pushing through the pain and lack of OXYGEN I was receiving and some how I completed the mile in 13.30minutes....Not 10 and no crab cake but I felt great for doing it that fast! I will win my damn crab cake......I will conquer this thing....I hate to lose at anything so its ON!

On a old person point of view.....I HURT!!! OMG the pain in my legs and hips are ridiculous I was a cheerleader for Gods sakes why do I hurt?? Oh yeah I'M OLD! apparently 30 isn't as bouncebackable as a say 18-29 year old!! I should have known! My knees crack and my hip pops...WTF....I am not ready for this...I will not age gracefully...B and I had some alone time with no kids one weekend...tried marathon sex ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ANOTHER YEAH RIGHT.....I got a cramp in my hip so severe I thought I broke it...Then B got a Charlie Horse to say the least we did laugh about it and decided we are not as young as we use to be...Maybe this working out stuff will resurface our younger days buried underneath the old joints that are currently winning the battle!

It only took 10 years.....

2010-04-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

Well I finally did it!!!! I left my kids with a teenager!!! But I have to say she was a VERY good one! She sent me text messages to "check-in" and was very good with my kids!! This makes me very happy and I feel so much better about choosing to have her as a babysitter for my kids. I had never at that point left my kids with anyone except grandparents or a close ADULT friend. I guess I always had this fear that a teenager would not be responsible or neglegent I am not really sure what it was exactly but it scared me. B and I really wanted to go to the Hockey game and watch our favorite team in the playoffs but all family had been exhausted and no one was able to keep them which prompted me to put out a SOS on Facebook. I got a hit from a friend who called the teenager and she totally ROCKED! I guess it is worth it sometimes to take a chance and step out of your security box and live.....just a little...and I will definitly be calling her again!

Organic Garden......DONE! Well we spent all day Sunday planting our all organic vegetable garden! I am super happy and I really really really hope it grows! The location of the garden is in the back left corner of our yard and I thought it had more sun than it did...OOPS Apparently it doesnt get sun till about 3pm. All the plants required full sun....so I am hoping it works but I am a little scared now...That will be TO BE CONTINUED...

Friday, Why am I not happy about this!

2010-04-16T06:05:00.000-07:00

So just a quick Rabies update...

The state nurse did alot of clarification for me this morning..

1. Shailyn at this point does not need to undergo Rabies shots. The puppy is in quarentine where it will stay for the next 10 days and like I said yesterday if it lives we are golden...if not Shay is screwed! 5 shot in 28 days UGH!!!

2. Why my well taken care of dog is locked up for 45 days and not 10?

~~How Rabies is spread is through the Saliva (duh), when my dog exposed himself to the bat and if the bat even bite my dog (there was no way to tell)and if the bat had rabies it takes approxamately 45 days - 6 months past exposure to present itself in the saliva. Therefore my dog has to be locked up for the 45 days. How she explained it was if the bat did in fact bite my dog it doesnt automatically give my dog rabies. The rabies virus has to leave the entry site (bite sight) and work its way through the nerves~~~~~to the brain~~~~~~~and THEN to the saliva. Until that happens the dog CANNOT pass the virus in a bite because the virus is not present in the saliva..Makes since right??

~~This is why the new dog was quarentined for only 10 days..when it grazed (literally Shay showed no visible signs of a bite when she got home) Shays arm and "broke the surface of her skin" if Shay was going to contract the Rabies virus herself the dog would have had to been infact carrying the FULL BLOWN Rabies virus (hence the 10 days) and from what I witnessed yesterday she was just a hyper little puppy who wanted to play so I am not concerned.

On a different note...

Todays is Friday and a BIG day for the locals...its TIKI BAR OPENING! 30,000 people flock to our tiny little island to over induldge in 10 dollar drinks they had to wait in line 2 hours for. The cops are in full effect! This is our local area Mardi Gra complete with boobie flashing for beads and MASSIVE amounts of public drunkeness.. and oh yeah...I will be there Sober laughing at the crazied idiots who are puking all over themselves...I am helping a friend serve food (I think) or just keeping her company. I have to rise and shine super early to partake in a public awarness for early literacy for young and under priviledge children and I am actually excited about this..Then home to prepare for the Washington Capitols Playoff game that night with the hubby! Who doesnt love a "Date Night"...

ANXIETY IS SLIGHTLY SETTING IN.....

For this date night....we are hiring a teenager to watch the kids and I am not sure how I feel about it! I know she is responsible and LOVES LOVES LOVES kids...but still nervous...this should be interesting....Will update on Monday,,,Have a great weekend everyone!

Dear Rabies.....LEAVE ME ALONE....

2010-04-15T10:44:00.001-07:00

So sorry I havent posted in awhile I have had alot of stuff going on...

On March 16th at about 9pm I had told my daughter to let the dogs in and put them away for the night. I was chit chatting with a really good friend from High School...We were catching up and laughing and having some good conversation which was exactly what I needed. As I cleaned up the remainder of the kitchen I had the window open and I heard...

squeak, squeak, squuuueeeeeak squuuuueeeeaak....

WTF is that sound ( I start opening the cabinets) I better not have a fucking MOUSE...I HATE a mouse...

Squeak, Squeak, SQQUUUUEEEAAAAAKKK....Bark Bark Bark...

Still looking for the source the squeaking....

(In the background)(I am still in the kitchen on the phone) PRINCE LEAVE THAT ALONE....PRINCE STOP THAT..PRRIIIIIINNNNCE STOOOOOOPPPP!!

WTF IS GOING ON????

Then it happens....(what hear through the window I am still in the kitchen trying to find the source of the squeak)

MOOOOOOOOOOOMY Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Mommmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyy Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

PRINCE HAS A BAT!!!!

Wtf really a fucking bat WHAT....I run outside into the backyard and YUP my pomeranian has a BAT!!!!!!

You have to be kidding me! I think I want a mouse...I HATE a BAT more than a mouse!! Oh and did I forget to mention that I am ALONE with the kids no man was in my house and was unreachable at that moment. The bat was still alive I get the dog in the house and proceed to try to get the bat with a shovel..The fucker kept squeaking at me...I would scream and run.....Oh yeah and I am still on the phone which my girlfriend was LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY she then says "OMG i havent heard you scream like that since high school! I laughed for the moment but I had the WORSE case of heebie jeebies EVER! I would touch it with the shovel and it would flap his wings and squeak again I wuld scream and run...I would come back....all i could say was...I cant do it...I REALLY cant do it...(poke with the shovel) SQUEAK flap flap flap....Me-RUNNING AGAIN (this went on for 45 minutes) ....Oh and yes my children were witnessing their mother being a big fat sissy! It is now approaching 10pm the kids are not in bed and it is in my backyard right by my steps to the daycare it has to go but REALLY I CANT DO IT! Thankfully I have a male friend that lives around the corner. I call him...

Brent: Hello
Me:Hey are you working?
Brent:No
Me:You have your kids?
Brent:Nope
Me: I need a man?
Brent: You need WHAT???
Me: ha ha ha I have a bat in my yard and I cant get it out?
Brent: You have a WHAT??
Me: A bat a FUCKING bat and its still alive!!
Brent: Are you serious or are you kidding?
Me: I am so serious
Brent: Kill it
Me: Hell NO
Brent: FINE...How do I get to your house?

He showed up about 15 minutes later and grabbed my shovel as he touched it I ran AGAIN...It flapped its wings and sqeaked and my kids still hovering (from a safe distance away) and thought it was Cuuute (yeah right)!! I fussed at the kids to go inside and so did my friend....He had to kill it and didnt want to do it in front of the kids. They went inside and he cut the flippin thing in half (God, it was gross) he put it away from where the dogs and kids could get it and so animal control could get it if they needed it.

The next morning I called my vet out of concern for my dog (he did have his vaccinations THANK GOD) They informed me that he had to get ANOTHER rabies booster even though it had been less than a year since his last and then they said I had to call animal control. WTF???

Animal Control comes to my house and tells me that I have to get the next vaccination and then I have to quarentine my dog for 45 DAYS!!!! Really 45 days!!!! I lost it....I cried he is our favorite dog! I asked him about having the bat tested..Our system sucks! Because the bat had NO HUMAN CONTACT they would not test it due to funding issues..so my dog is locked up and it just sucks...

TODAY April 15th, 2010

Shailyn goes to the bus stop as normal. Well apparently there was a stray puppy at the bus stop and apparently my kid has no fear of a strange dog no matter how much I have said DONT GO NEAR them. The puppy was friendly and running around and playing with all the kids and was doing the puppy nibble/bite. Well in that process it either jumped and scratched or her teeth scratched the surface of her skin. NICE....Shay goes to school and some how ends up in the nurses office. The school nurse called my MIL because she saw what happened and said Animal Control needed to be contacted. (ARE YOU KIDDING ME) She calls me I call Animal Control and guess what.....You got it! Shay has to have a bite report filed in her name and may have to find this stray puppy and give it to Animal Control or my daughter will have to undergo rabie shots!!!!!! I am so FUCKING done!! Now I am getting upset...I get my MIL to sit with the daycare kids and I go hunting for this DOG! Thank the GOOD LORD ABOVE I found the dog tied up at a house down the street. I stopped and asked her if she owned the dog or if it was indeed a stray. She said, it wasnt hers but it almost got hit and she was worried and hoped to hear about a possible owner. I asked her if I could take it and she said yes I could and I did just that...I took it! I put it in my backyard and waited for animal control. The officer took the dog and said he was being quarentined for 10 days and if it lives....Shay doesnt need rabie shots...if it dies...My daughter is screwed! I did ask why a stray with no rabie vaccine (possibly) only gets 10 days but my well taken care of fully vaccinated dog gets 45 days and the officer said if he hadnt had a rabies shot it would have to be a 6 month quarentine!??? He didnt really have an answer So needless to say I now in less than a month have 2 bite reports on my desk....Hopefully this is the end of it I cant take much more....

Cupid Shuffle!

2010-02-25T11:45:00.000-08:00

Dancing with the 10 year old at Brianna's party!

Catch up!

2010-02-23T07:02:00.000-08:00

I cant believe its been a month and so much has happened!

*Nic continues to love hockey and I continue to love to watch him learn!

*The BEST....Nic can finally wipe his own butt...skid mark free so far!

*We were blizzarded in for 2 weeks....I lost my mind and did not enjoy on single bit of it...truthfully I think I cried everyday I saw schools were closed...You can only play referee for so long before you want to say...Go ahead beat the shit out of each other I just dont care anymore!

*Brianna turned 10....I still cant believe my first born is 10! She had a
"Rockin 10th Birthday" all the kids came dressed like rock stars and they danced and sang and well.....had a blast! Oh and did I mention they spen the night 9 pre teen girls...I know...IM CRAZY! Here are some of the pics!

* Father Daughter Dance 2010...Brian and the girl have been going to this Valentines Dance since Brianna was in Kindergarten! Bri and Brian went the first year alone (Shay was to young) and they have made this a yearly thing...except last year they sold out and we were unable to go :( he took them to dinner instead. Here are some of the pics from that!

Well I think that covers it....Until next time....hope its not a month again! and I am in some serious need of funny stories!

A challenge....LOVE THIS ONE!

2010-01-28T11:23:00.000-08:00

52 weeks of shoot me! I came across this on another blog and I think it is a fantastic idea! I am tired of never being in the pictures that are takin of my family because I am always behind the camera. So once a week for the next 52 weeks I will post a picture of me doing something with my kids!

Here is the 1st of 52 posts!

Nics Neurology update..He Definatley has Tick!

2010-01-28T08:00:00.000-08:00

So we finally got our appointment with the Neurologist for Nic. If you are new to this please read my Nic has a Tick . Well the Doctor actually saw him Tick so that was a good thing (if you can call it that)and said that he was concerned about it. He told me that viruses inside the human body can cause this but given Nics healthy history he quickly dismissed that theory. I went completely unprepared for what to ask him about. I had let go of the Tourettes aspect and thought that maybe it wasn't true so I therefore did no research on the subject and figured of he had it the doctors would see it. This was a mistake I later found out. The doctor said that right now Nic has a "Simple Tick" meaning he isn't combining it with any other motor ticks. No legs jumping, finger snapping, shoulder shrugging type behavior. He then asked if Nic has any OCD type tendencies I said No! Not realizing OCD can present in many form with Tourettes. It doesn't have to be a cleaning obsession, or hand washing, or the other classic common OCD type behavior. He informed me that we are in the "watching" phase right now and I was to document all the things I would be worried about and see hin again in August. He said Nic wasn't exhibiting the classic Tourettes characteristic of the "Vocal Tick". He did sayt that it could take up to a year or more for that to surface considering Nic is only 5. But if it did I needed to come back before August. When I got home I put it on my facebook for my friends that were all worried about him to know it was a ok visit. Someone then asked me why and I reposted the video and I am sure glad I did! I got a phone call that evening from a friend/mom who had seen the video and she informed me that her son has Tourettes and if I had any question to please call her! I loved this!! I FINALLY had someone to talk to about this disorder and get some questions answered! But in talking to her I realized Nic had more Characteristics that I has just written off as NORMAL childhood behavior. This upset me but made all the things FINALLY come together. Here are some of the traits he has been exhibiting over the last few years.

Sleeping in his own room

Around the age of three Nic started not sleeping in his own bed. I would go months without properly putting his laundry away and leaving it on his bed because he never slept in there any way. Well one night I forced him (kicking and screaming) to sleep in there. He lost his mind!!! He kept telling me he had bee's in his room he would here them Buzzing. I told him he was being silly there was no bees in his room. I would turn on the lights, I would sit on his bed with him, I even went out and bought Lysol and put a "Bee Be Gone" label onto he stupid thing and sprayed it in his room telling him I killed the bee's. He insisted I did not and he could still hear them. I finally gave into the battle and let him sleep with me or his sisters and he was always fine. I also moved his older sister into his room that was not being used and let him share the room with his younger sister and he started actually sleeping MORE not all the time but MORE in his own bed.

After talking to my friend...She said her some did the same thing he just heard a ticking sound but an almost Identical story to Nics. She informed my with Tourette's kids exhibit anxiety that triggers a sensory disorder and that they can have heightened hearing.

Well four months ago his little sister moved out of his room and moved to her own room and the anxiety started all over again. This time it was he could here the sounds of the outside whether it was the dogs barking across the lake, leaves rustling, the wind lightly blowing etc....To help him I gave him my bedside fan and turned it on high so he couldn't hear ANYTHING outside of his bedroom. It worked for a day or so but I can honestly say that 9 times out of 10 he wakes up in the middle of the night to either sleeps with me or he climbs in bed with one of his sisters. Yesterday, he slept in his room all night, Last night, I awoke this morning to him in my bed.

My friend said this to was all part of the hearing sensory issue.

NICS OCD TENDENCIES

Since Nic was young I have always had to put him in the cart at the stores because he cant keep his hands to himself. When I walk down a isle at the grocery store he HAS to walk his fingers down the shelves. I have always been funny about my kids touching stuff in a store. If they cant keep their hands off the stuff in the store they have to put their hands in their pockets. Well Nic seems to NEVER be able to do that. A year ago my Mom took him to the store and called me after saying "I WILL NEVER TAKE HIM TO A STORE WITH ME AGAIN" "He couldn't keep his hands off the shelves" You need to control him. I said FINE don't take him anymore I don't care you have to put him in the cart! I guess because I know this about him as a part of his personality I didn't realize that was a OCD type behavior. I do now! B and I walked in to Crate and Barrel a couple of weekends ago and I stopped as soon as we entered and looked at B and said "PICK HIM UP" I just foresaw Nic knocking and ENTIRE shelf of 15 dollar wine glasses over with his finger walking. NO THANK YOU! B did and we were successful with NO breaking of any items in the store!

Last night I went to BJ's and I did take note to him walking his fingers down the isles and I picked him up and put him in the cart it was taking FOREVER to get down the aisle's I didn't have time to wait. When I got home I called my friends and she said yes it was a OCD type tick to where he cant help but touch the shelves. He has done it so long that I just stopped paying attention to it being a problem and just always put him in the cart.

NICS OBSESSION WITH ME

Nic has always been a "Mamma's Boy". But around the age of 15 months he got EXTREMELY upset when anyone would touch me. If you walked up to me and put your finger tip on my arm and he saw you. He would fall straight to the ground and grunt until I picked him up. B would get so pissed that I would pick him up and told me he did it because I "spoiled" him. So one night Brian walked in a kissed me and Nic fell like a fainting goat to the floor. B said DO NOT PICK HIM UP!! So I didn't until he scooted across the room to the wall and started banging his head. Then I picked him up! As time went on he lessened his falling but is still obsessed with me. Only I can do things, Make his milk. wipe his butt, give him a bath, etc... I just got accustomed to it and did it. Well now it has transpired yet again. He is not ADAMANT that I Hug and Kiss him before leaving him. This goes for any period of time he wont see me, nap time, bed time, driving 2 seconds down the street to pick up his sisters and a friends house, its HORRIBLE if I don't. Last week I was driving 5 houses down to pick up Bri and Nic was playing in the back yard he heard the car start and came RUNNING to the fence I had the radio on I didn't hear him but all of a sudden B came busting out of the house with his finger in the air to signal for me to wait a minute. He opened the fence and grabbed Nic and brought him to the car. Nic was a MESS. B said he could hear him SCREAMING all the in the house. I looked at Nic and said: Buddy mommy is just going down the street! He said: You CANT LEAVE with out giving me a hug and a kiss. REALLY 2 seconds requires a hug and a kiss" I complied and he was fine! But I cant leave if he is in the bath or shower unless I do this or he has the worst meltdown I have ever seen but as soon as I hug and kiss he's FINE! I don't know what that is all about but my friend said it was another OCD thing where it HAS to be DONE or he cant function! But its only with ME! I am still unsure if this is a tourettes thing or not. But definitely going to be discussed with the doctor.

CRACKS

Well Nic has within the last month developed this idea he CANNOT step on cracks. I have not said anything to him I have just been watching and observing but last night I noticed EVERY single crack he had to step over them. Whether it was a crack in the asphalt or a crack in the concrete, and mainly the cracks in the floors of BJ's. This I know is a OCD type behavior. But I did finally ask him last night why he wasn't stepping on the cracks...he said: I just cant mommy! Hmmmmmmmmm

After talking with my friend and putting all the peices together it all makes since. But now all I am waiting for is his Vocal tick then they can diagnose. I am not sure how I feel about any of this right now. I know the vocal tick could take time even a year or so. I just wish he would do it and get it over wth so we can figure out the next step of things. But a huge part of me hopes like hell he NEVER gets it and this will all be just a glimpse into my past or a blog I wrote about quirky behavior. But after talking with my friend I have a feeling this is my new life..SuperMomof3..one with Tourettes....

Bad Mommy!

2010-01-25T07:14:00.000-08:00

Okay I like wine! Actually I love this one type of wine Moscato Di Asti made by Umberto Fiore! Its so sweet and delicious! Well yesterday I was enjoying a bottle! Het it was Sunday and the men were watching football while I was cooking and cleaning why not? Right??? Well after I realized I need to slow my roll I left my galss and about a inch worth of wine in bottom on the counter. As I cleaned up I realized it was gone..the whole thing...glass and all! Well now I know why here is what I found!Typed in her documents on the computer!

Courtesy of my Science freak 9 yr old! (This is a copy and paste no way my words or my corrections. Pretty good if I do say so myself)!

What happens when you put salt in wine

Its January 25th 5:45pm and I just found an old wine glass and there was still wine in it. Then I found some salt. So I decided I was going to do an experiment. First, I got three pinches of salt then I grabbed the wine glass. Next I took one pinch of salt and put it in the wine glass. It made it look like an expolsion inside! Then I put the last two pinches of salt in the wine and it made and hissing noise like a snake! It looked like an explosion inside again What and experiment

The End
By:Brianna

I guess I should be more concerned when my wine disappears but atleast she conducted a cience experiment...documented it...and no where did she say she drank it...phew!

"Mommy when I die" ......Oye!

2010-01-22T08:39:00.001-08:00

Quick insight!

Saturday was a day of many first for the Supermom Family!

Nic Started Ice Hockey..Never being on the ice resulted in major meltdown and the line..I WANNA PLAY FOOTBALL!!, of course that is not the truth. This really should be a blog all on its own but I dont have time! So quickly, Nic practically slept in his hockey gear so excited he couldnt stand it...A quick slip and assplant on the ice ended his excitement abruptly.

We took the kids to Kettler Ice Rink for the Caps Kids Club event where we got to watch the Washington Capitols practice, I stood in line for 1hour and 45minutes for my kids so they could get Mike Green and Jason Chimera's autograph, then on to Ice skating. Nic had ANOTHER meltdown refused to let Brian put the skates on. I told him I was disappointed I had never been ice skating and neither had his sisters but we were all trying something new! I told him NO ICE CREAM (bribing), 40 minutes later watching me and his sisters have blast he said he wanted ice cream, put on his skates and I continued to bribe, "If you let go of the wall I will put chocolate syrup on your ice cream!", Once he got the hang of that "If you let go of my hand and skate to daddy all by yourself you can have sprinkles on your ice cream!" After a few minutes he was skating alone and super excited for his next hockey class!!!!

Shay loves loves loves Nickolas Backstrom and she bought his jersey while at Kettler and she was stoked!

On the way home Shay says "Mommy when I die will you bury me in my Backstrom Jersey??!! WHAT!!! I was horrified by this statement and I wrongfully said..
Shay I hope that one your jersey doesnt fit you by the time you die and 2 I hope mommy is buried long before you! Its just not natural for a mom to bury their child.

She replies,

Granny Goose had to bury Grandpop (True my dad died at the young age of 46 a year and a half ago)

I said yes but Grandpop was a fluke, its just not the natural order of things although it could happen I just hope it never happpens to me!

Nic pipes up in the background and says..

"Mommy if you die I will miss you!"

I said Buddy I am not planning on dying anytime soon!

He replies

If someone shoots you you will die

Nice buddy but I hope I am nowhere near anyone trying to shoot me! (Stupid news I really have to turn it off when the kids are around)

Ghost or No Ghost....

2010-01-11T10:17:00.000-08:00

Okay I am not the type of person who thinks that ghost will haunt or sought after you...I always said I was never really sure but I really needed to see to believe. Well I am really tired of putting my foot into my mouth my toes dont taste very good.

Does anyone else have "the mom ears" you know the ears that we get the moment we give birth that allows us to hear every foot step on the carpet coming down the hall to your room? Well if not I some how ended up with super sonic hearing...Well this morning I heard "my son" (I quote this because that what I thought) come into my room this morning literally right before my alarm goes off. I looked at the clock it says 625am...I look at "Nic" (again with the quote) and he is just standing beside my bed but close to the foot of the bed but it was still dark it was really his sillouette that I see I cant see his face...

Me- Nic whats wrong buddy do you want to sleep with mommy?

Nic-No answer (please know I am using the term Nic very loosly)

Me-Dude really if you want to get in bed with me then come on..My alarm is about to go off and I will hit the snooze and cuddle for a minute if you hurry up!

Nic-No answer

Me- thinking to myself wait a minute B put Nic in Briannas bed last night he NEVER gets out of bed with his sisters to sleep with me. Also the whole damn time Zoe our dog is bopping around her cage. Trying to make since of it all I then ( this freaks me the FUCK OUT)

I sat up in the bed and situated myself to pick Nic up I said come here Buddy I will pick you up..

As I lean over the fucker VANISHED!!! Swear to God FUCKING VANISHED!!!!

So I am thinking to myself did I really just try to coax a ghost into my fucking bed....WHAT THE FUCK!

Right then my alarm goes off granted I am sitting up so I just reached back and turned it off and realized I was fully awake so this was not a dream or weird half awake half asleep kinda deal...

So my question is do I have a spirit of a small child that needs me somehow??

Brian and I lost a baby the first time I was pregnant..late first trimester one week shy of second trimester....could it be that child? But he/she would be 10 years old? This child like figure is the same size as Nic.

But then I thought to myelf...This is not the first time I have had this happen to me when it came to a childlike size figure near or around me.

I told Brian a few months ago about how I saw one of the kids behind me in my side vision (I am not even going to attempt to spell it) But when I turned they were gone??

I was so freaked out I turned my TV on a watched the news for a bit scared to take a shower for the pure fact that I felt like a pedophile taking a shower with a spirit of a child around me!!

I heard Bri's alarm go off so I then felt like "it" was gone so I took my shower all while thinking to myself did this morning really fucking happen?? This shit is to weird for me?

I think I need medication LOL

Then and Now Thursday...Relationship Edition.

2009-12-17T06:20:00.000-08:00

So a situation played out last night that had me laying in bed thinking....What happens to your sex life after marriage and kids?

Scene...Myself and B just finishing up a night of catching up on DVR not cuddled on the couch but sitting in opposite ends of the couch. We are in the kitchen just straightening before bed. I walk over and lock the side door and turn around and there is B he blocks me from getting by, he pulled me into him and gave me a AMAZING kiss! We stood there for maybe a minute just kissing each other and then I tapped his back (signaling the end) and as I pulled away he looked me in my eyes and said "I love you". Sweet yes I know but here I am all cynical and shit I walk away saying yeah yeah whatever you don't love me..(Why did I do this exactly?) He replied..with sarcasm......"Oh yeah that's right I am just here for all that hot steamy sex we are always having." I laughed it off and went upstairs replying "Ha in our younger days" I layed down to finally go to sleep. Thing is I didn't go to sleep I layed there thinking....Here is my edition of Then and Now....

THEN

12 years ago......

B and I could not be in the same room with out touching each other

We had sex EVERYDAY (no joke)

If we weren't together I missed him so bad that when he walked in the door I practically jumped him and he acted as if he felt the same way!

I could look at him across the room and feel so much LOVE I couldn't stand it!

Our eye contact no matter where we were felt magical.

B and I would surprise each other with dumb balloons or love notes hidden in places that the other was sure to find during the day.

Walking anywhere B held my hand.

When we went to bed together we were in tangled you couldn't tell where one began and the other ended.

If the opportunity presented itself we would have sex anywhere (car, kitchen table, bathroom sink, beach, many different friends houses usually during a party (sorry guys lol) etc.)

B would page me (sounds funny to say that) just to say 8 3 1 ( eight letters, three words, one meaning... I LOVE YOU!)

NOW

We sit on opposite ends of the couch to watch TV or Movies...maybe I will lay my head on his lap but it all depends.

We have sex maybe once a month. PATHETIC I KNOW!!!!!

When were are apart I still have three other people who require more attention than B that I don't even realize he isn't home. When he walks into the door I feel like I am barking orders...Can you please let the dogs out? Shay needs help with her homework, Can you please get your son off my leg for five minutes so I can finish cooking dinner!, You really need to go to the dump the damn squirrels got into again today!, Bri needs to be picked up from carpool in one hour can you do it? etc...

I look at B across the room and if he is sitting I feel angry...why I don't know...he works ALOT and EARLY....I shouldn't be but I am....Especially if I am frantically cleaning or still have the whole mommy, mommy, mommy CAN YOU PLEASE SAY DADDY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!!

Eye contact.....Whats that?

Love notes???? Un heard of.....The last time B did that he wrote in the bathroom mirror with my FAVORITE lipstick and it took me 20 minutes to clean it off....I was not accepting to this...Although I should have felt lucky and appreciated the gesture..instead i called him and I quote "OF ALL THE LIPSTICKS IN MY MAKEUP DRAWER YOU PICKED THE ONLY ONE I WEAR I appreciate what you did but next time reach to the back of the drawer not the front (I am such a bitch)

Hold my hand....impossible I already have 2 hands I am holding and B is usually holding Nic.

Go to bed together HA actually double HA! I am usually up late doing all the things I cant when the kids are awake. If we do manage to go to bed I do have a rule...At least our feet should touch...Most of the time we have a kid in the middle so no cuddling.....and if our feet aren't touching under the covers someone is pissed...

Sex....restricted to the bedroom....DOORS LOCKED......and we actually have to have an opportunity.....

B still does text me sometimes during the day just to say he loves me but they are very few and far between...

I guess this is just me wondering WHAT HAPPENED??? When did things change? I still love him but where is that passion we had for each other? What happened to the ripping off the clothes, cant get enough, more more more S and B? Does that all go away when kids get involved...if so...WHY? We have a beautiful family we should be overcome in that and bond over that and love each other deeper and more meaningful since we have 3 beautiful, amazing connections to each other? Maybe this could be a new blog idea...My trials and tribulation's of rekindling a lost connection....Knowing us it could make for some pretty funny reading....

Mommy is Santa real?

2009-12-15T06:47:00.000-08:00

So this years Christmas season had been extra challenging with the whole is Santa real dilemma! Brianna is in fourth grade and has been told since Kindergarten by class room brats that Santa isn't real. PARENTS can you please control you need to tell kids earlier and earlier that Santa isn't real!!! I mean at least teach your kids Santa respect ex. If you chose to tell your child the truth can you please tell them that they should keep it to their selves and NOT ruin it for other children! Yes I already know that I am probably scarring my children for life by telling them they always have to tell me the truth when all year I lie to them...Easter bunny, Tooth fairy etc... But its all for the magic and excitement of childhood. My brother has opted to NOT do Santa in his house with my nieces instead of Santa bringing the gifts its Mommy and Daddy. He claims he was devastated to find out our parents lied to him. I think frankly that's a CROCK OF SHIT but who am I to say how he felt.

Brianna came home the other day with a really good and very difficult question.

Mommy if Santa brings all kids who are good presents on Christmas Eve then why do we donate toys to Toys for Tots for kids who don't get anything from Santa?

Well damn....How do I answer this?

I then sat her down and how I managed to pull this out of my ass I will NEVER know how!!

I said....

Brianna remember last year when we were following Santa Blog and the elves were on strike and they demanded higher pay and better health care! (the writer of this blog is genius)Well Santa did give in and this is how all this came about... Well you need to understand something when Santa started this whole bringing toys to kids stuff toys use to be Wooden trains and Rag baby dolls and the elves could make these things in the toy shop. Well since then kids and toys have evolved and now its Xbox, DSI, Nintendo's, Mechanical toys, etc... Well those things cant be made in the toy shop Santa has to go out and buy those things so along time ago Santa started talking with the parents and based off the children's Christmas list of wants Santa started charging a certain amount of the cost to the parents. Every year when you have you Christmas list ready mommy and daddy talk to Santa and come up with a payment plan of sorts and we have to give him a certain amount of money to cover the cost. Well some parents don't have the money to even give Santa so he started the Toys for Tots as a way to get families to donate toys to the organization and then he picks them up and takes them to all the kids who don't get anything. WHEW that was alot and some serious quick thinking on my part!

She said she understood and was no longer confused but then she said well so and so told me his parents told him Santa wasn't real! WTF people hurdle after hurdle maybe I should just tell them but that would ruin my Christmas I LOVE SANTA and the MAGIC of Christmas. I replied

He was probably REALLY naughty and when his parents met with Santa he probably told them they didn't have enough money to pay Santa to bring a naughty kid presents! I don't know what to say......

I just hope that I can at least get this year out of her but she will know that if I find out she ruins it for her younger siblings she will get NOTHING for Christmas LOL!!

TMI but I dont care its HYSTERICAL!

2009-12-11T07:49:00.000-08:00

I meant to post this sooner but I have been shit tons of busy lately. Working the 2 jobs and entertaining daycare kids all day is EXHAUSTING but here goes....

Last week I had some shopping to do and I took Nic with me. He INSISTED on going to Chick-Fil-A although I LOVE their food it doesn't sit right in my tummy. We eat in the restaurant and then go hit up Target for some needed items. Of course the store is packed with all these damn Christmas shoppers and I was feeling anxious to begin with (not good for the belly either). then of course the fast food gurgle gut hits right in the middle of the store. You know the kind where you go Shit (no pun intended) I NEED to find a bathroom ASAP! yeah I hate those. Well I have this HUGE anxiety issue 1. #2 in public and 2. #2 in public with people in the bathroom. So I rush to the front of the store like a stupid Imodium commercial you know the song ....gotta go gotta go right now! yeah that was me! I am dragging Nic and we get to the bathroom SHIT its PACKED!! Now the gurgle gut gets worse with the stupid anxiety over the whole EVEN having to go to the bathroom dilemma. So I take Nic into the stall with me and I grab one of those paper toilet covers and think if I flush and go at the same time no one will be the wiser. SO I do this and score no one noticed. Here is the bathroom nice and quiet people just washing their hands and getting out and then it happens........Nic busts out laughing...and I quote...."MOMMY YOU ARE SO COOL YOU JUST FLUSHED THE POTTY AND POOPED AT THE SAME TIME" at the very moment I could have DIED of embarrassment and flushed my son all the SAME TIME.

God I love kids......They can embarrass you faster than anyone else.

Oh Brianna........

2009-11-19T05:05:00.001-08:00

I feel like I never talk about Bri or share any funny stories about her on here, but honestly she is a good kid. She's relatively quiet, reads alot in her room alone, OCD, Type A, very old soul, all around great kid! I am not just saying that about her she really is. Well she is also about to hit that.......well.....we all know its coming...women hood stage UGH!!!!! I am so not ready for that!!! But in the last two days her hormones are on OVERDRIVE and she is very moody and quick to cry for no reason so we have all been feeding her chocolate and leaving her alone. Before anyone says anything I was 10 when I became a women and she will be 10 in a couple of months! Her pediatrician told me 8 months ago to have "the talk" because she was already high up on the Tanner Scale for puberty. Yeah ME! She has had 2 moments that made me crack up the last 2 days.

FIRST STORY!!

We were sitting at the dinner table and she was just kinda sitting with her elbow (I know bad table manners)on the table with her head in her hand eating. She was obviously pissed off about something but wasn't trying to share. I kept asking her about her day, we started to discuss some things with her that are a bit life changing and we were asking her opinion on it and she was fine with the decisions we were talking about. I cant go into great detail because there are people who read my blog that I don't want to know just yet what is being discussed because it isn't confirmed that this is what we are doing yet. But in our discussion Brianna was still sitting in the above referenced position and B and I were talking and she starts like talking out loud but I think she was talking to herself not realizing that she was ACTUALLY talking out loud and then she says........"I really don't care what you decided just as long as so and so doesn't BITCH at me like so and so does.". I thought I would die B and I both looked at each other and started giggling with our faces turned away from her. She looks up from her dinner plate and says WHAT B said (LMAO even as I type cause it was hilarious) Brianna I know your opinionated and getting older but can you please just watch you mouth. She looked at us like we were crazy and said WHAT, WHAT DID I SAY.... B told her and she started to cry and we laughed harder....I told her she wasn't in trouble but just keep those kinda of thoughts inside her head not out at the dinner table in front of her siblings! She then said....she hadn't realized that she said it out loud! Freakin hilarious. (At least I think) But gotta loves those hormones.....

Second story

Brianna came home the other day and said she had this really great sandwich at dance the other night that one of her friends shared with her. I said oh yeah what was it? She said it was a peanut butter sandwich with marshmallow puff on it. Can you believe I have NEVER given my kids a fluffer nutter. B was standing there when we had the conversation and told her "That's a fluffer nutter" I had a friend in school that ate one EVERYDAY" Bri said, They are really good!! I looked in my cabinet and I had some marshmallow puff left over from rice krispie treats I made with my daycare kids at snack time, and said look we have the stuff if you want to take one in your lunch tomorrow. She said OH YEAH,

This morning I saw her making her sandwich and I asked her how she liked the sandwich yesterday at lunch.....

She replied, It was good but I had to much fluffer and not enough nutter!

I cracked up and helped her put the right amount of both so hopefully today's lunch will be much better!

part of childhood or should I be concerned?....Nic has a tick

2009-11-16T06:37:00.000-08:00

Ok, for real this time I need some advice....

I am slightly concerned about Nic. Nic is the calm mellow child who sits back and takes it all in but on the rare occasion he actually gets in trouble when I would try to talk to him he would constently blink his eyes. NO big deal he was anxious and doesnt like direct eye contact while in a situation where he is getting corrected. Well it seems to be getting worse.

We took Nic to the aquarium for his birthday (he just turned 5) and while we were watching the dolphin show I noticed he was blinking rapidly and hard along with a facial twing?? I asked him if he was ok or if his eyes were burning he said he was fine and his eyes didnt hurt. I just wrote it off for the moment but I then noticed he kept doing all day. I said something to B and he noticed it to and said he didnt know why he was doing it either.

I guess I didnt think much more about it and let it go til this past Saturday. Iwas at work when my mother in law called me at work and them immediately text me PLEASE CALL ME which was a red flag. I called her back when I finished up my appointment and the first thing she said after hey was "WHATS WRONG WITH NICS EYES??" I said what do you mean? She replied, He keeps blinking them and squishing up his face like he cant control it he has been doing it all day FIL noticed it to. I told her I wasnt sure what it was but I had noticed it the weekend prior and just thought maybe he had dry eyes or something. She then says....Whats WRONG with him? I dont know I am not a doctor MIL all I can do is call one on Monday. When my boss asked me what was wrong I told her about Nic and some of my co workers said ...."Is it a tick?" is he ticking like tourettes. This SCARED ME! Could my son have the starts of tourettes?

Well I got off work and B was in the kitchen and said we need to take Nic to the doctors I noticed what mom and dad were saying he is doing it ALOT! We all sat down to watch the hockey game and I noticed the whole time he was watching TV he was doing it. I asked him again....Buddy whats wrong with your eyes...he replied, I dont know it just keeps doing it I cant help it. This made me feel bad.I started researching childhood facial ticks and tourettes does in fact start in childhood through adolesent and usually starts withthe facial ticks. BUT it also said it usually is accompanied by ADD/ADHD, learning disabilites and behavioral issues..NIc had NONE of those. He sits for long periods of time, and he will sit and do lessons doing preschool time during the day. I dont know I am just having a moment of being scared for my son. All weekend we noticed it was really bad. He was doing it in all situations playing with his dad, watching TV, when I was reading him a book, and when he was eating dinner.

I guess what I need to know is this normal childhood behavior or should I be concerned. I did make him an appointment with a pediatric neurologist but he cant be seen until january 18th. This is going to be the longest 2 months ever!! Here is the video of him doing it....

Just plain scary!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-13T05:42:00.000-08:00

I had a terrifying moment last night and I hope to never have to have it again....

Preface

About a month or so ago my mother-in-law called me to tell me about this truck that she has seen on our street. Because I have a daycare and a mini van I am unable to take my girls to the bus stop ( I don't have enough room to safely strap everyone in). Since she is my neighbor she does it for me very nice I know).

She started seeing this man sitting in a truck in random places on our street like he was waiting for something or someone!! She was very disturbed because she saw him during elementary school bus stop times. All of us parents immediately think WORSE POSSIBLE SCENARIO A MAN......BUS STOP.....SMALL CHILDREN. I had not seen the truck or the man so I just let it pass by my mind. Then my kids thought they saw him at night one night in front of our house...I looked...NOTHING. I started to think my in laws and children were NUTS!!! My Mother in law then got the make and model and tag number and reported him the the police. Well then.......he appeared in a DIFFERENT vehicle. She then really panicked!!! I didn't know what to say or think about that. Well my father in law saw him one night and decided to try to ask him why he was just sitting on our street! The guy took off like a bat outta hell and my FIL tried to chase him down and lost him.....RED FLAG Why is he running from a plain old man!!! So, my FIL then called the police again and gave him the new tag number, make and model. So, this past Wednesday Veterans day my oldest walked to her grandmothers to hang out for a bit and while she was there she took the dog out to use the bathroom and came running back into the house the man in the truck was OUTSIDE my MIL's house!!! Parked behind the trees just sitting there!!! When he say my MIL he left! He hadn't been seen again till..........

WORSE NIGHT EVER

I was awakened by B BLOWING UP my cellphone at 2am. My husband is a truck driver and leaves my house at 1am on the mornings he works. I thought.....CAR ACCIDENT HOLY SHIT!!! been there done that with him before! I answer...

Hello

Hey I'm fine but I need you to do me a favor

OK

Get up and look out the window

WTF why?? Its 2am!!!!

I know I am sorry I don't mean to scare you but when I went out to start the car this morning that "truck" was parked on front of the house. When he saw me he hauled ass out of here. I let the car warm up (I am on the phone now having an anxiety attack) when I left I didn't see him, I didn't feel right so I turned around and came down the other road behind us and looped around the other way and I found him sitting in front of the house AGAIN....same thing he hauled ass when he saw me. I came back into the house and made sure EVERYTHING was bolted and locked! When I left again I didn't see him so just make sure he still isn't there!

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!! There was a man in front of our house and YOU left with me and my whole 105 pound self and 3 small children AND YOU WENT TO WORK!!!!!!!!!

S I didn't see him anymore I thought he was gone...I shouldn't have called and woke you up I know how you are (paranoid, freaked out, have a game plan mapped out in my head what I would do in a worse case scenario, wake him in the middle of the night because I heard a CRACK and swore someone was in the house, make him check EVERY closet and cubby hole in my house at 3am) you probably wont sleep!

You are damn right I am not gonna sleep are you serious!!! I am freaking out!!!

Well I already called the police and they are sending someone out to patrol the street!

That does not make me feel bettter!!

End of call

I did just that I laid in bed awake having a PANIC ATTACK...no xanex! SHIT!

well then things got even more scary...as I laid there awake trying to calm my nerves.......

I SEE HEADLIGHTS ON MY WINDOW BLINDS

I freak!!!

I call B

He's back!!! I can see him he is now parked 2 houses down with his lights shining on our house!!!!!

Call the police....

OK!!!!

555-555-5555......Hello Officer ????? speaking

Hi My name is SC my husband called you earlier about a man parked in front of my house....hes back!

Ok ma'am are you alone?

No I have 3 small children!!!!

Ok we have already dispatched a officer to the area he should be there soon!

THANK YOU!!!

hang up

I am in a utter state of panic!! What the FUCK am I going to do if this douchbag tries to come into my house!!! seriously will my instinct to protect my babies kick in or will I gather them together and huddle in a closet and hope like hell he doesn't find us!!! SCARED, SCARED, SCARED!!!!!!

I call my IL's and wake up the MIL!!!

MIL.....I tell her the above story...

OMG I will wake FIL.

No don't what if this crazy guy has a GUN!!

FIL use to be a cop.....he knows what to do!

No the Cops are coming let them do their job...This whole time I am crouched down on the floor fearfully peering through the window blinds watching....I see movement on the outside of the truck....The SON OF A BITCH is out of his truck...or so I thought....It was the COPS!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!!

The cop then after speaking with the gentleman about his behavior over the course of the month and a half and the FEMALE he had in the car with him it was determined...

He was married.......lives in a different part of the county, and is sleeping with a Young lady on our street. Apparently the random parking...RANDOM HOOKUPS!!!!

Nice!!!

The cop had parked in front of my house and my FIL walked down and got that information from him....APPARENTLY the man and women didn't realize they were scaring all the PARENTS on our street! The cop asked them why the didn't just go to HER house too......well.....hookup! She said her roommate hates him and he isn't aloud inside her house....SOUNDS LIKE A WINNER!!

END OF STORY!!!

I want a GUN!!! I am tired of feeling helpless and scared for me and my children....B has horrible hours and I cant take that shit!! I have always been scared of a gun but I think I may have to find someone to take me to a range and teach me how to use one!!! This day and age is ridiculous....I need to protect my babies at all costs!!! How much longer before someone does try to come into my home....I watch the news, I hear whats going on, and I am NOT going to be a VICTIM!!!

My Little Man is 5 yrs OLD TODAY!!!

2009-11-03T09:13:00.000-08:00

I remember this day is it was yesterday. I was scheduled for a induction and told to arrive at the hospital at 630am. As I was outside putting my bags in the car Brian yelled out the door..."The hospital just called they said you cant come in today for your induction!!" I yelled WHAT!!!! I had been in preterm labor and on bed rest for 10 weeks, I had just been to the hospital 3 days earlier and given pain meds in my IV and sent home with contractions every 3 minutes but no cervical change and I stayed that way till the delivery! All I could do was cry I called my best friend Carla bawling my eyes out telling her I physically could not continue with the pregnancy I was worn out!!!

Well at 7am the shift change nurses came in a discussed the high risk pregnancy that was stalling my induction, when nurse Valerie saw my name on the roster she said OH NO we HAVE to let Mrs C. come in and deliver her baby that poor girl has been through hell the last 2 and a half months. She was my nurse on more than one occasion! She gladly called me around 710am and told me to come have my baby!

I ran my pregnant butt to the car and told Brian LETS GO BEFORE THEY CHANGE THEIR MINDS AGAIN!!!

WE arrived at the hospital a little before 8am. The started my IV did all the neccessary paper work and hooked my up to the fetal monitor! She was quite surprised at my contraction pattern all on my own. She said wow good strong rhythem your in?? I replied, Yup been doing this for the last three weeks! She said OH GOD poor thing lets get this ball rolling! They started the induction meds at 9am!

My contractions were building and I was laboring pretty good all natural until around 12 when my Doctor came in. I was 5cm dialated and right before he walked in I felt a little gush I told him I wasnt sure what I felt but I felt something....either my water broke or I was leaking all the nice lub they used to check me with. Well he said I am going to break your water any way. Well he started to get a good postiion to insert the crochet hook looking thing when all of a SUDDEN WHOOOOOOOOOOOSH All I saw was a fountain of fliud like some one stuck their finger over a hose and the look on my doctors face was PRICELESS!!!! My water broke and the fountain I saw was so high I soaked him from the shoulder down!!! He was sitting with the hook still in the other hand and said....."That would be the Gush we always talk about! I started to laugh in embarasment and apologized! The worse part he was still in his office suit! The next time I saw him......He was in scrubs!

After my water broke the contractions got really bad!! I remember my labor with Shay ( The labor that tried to kill me) after my water broke at 5cm I dialated to 10 in 15 minutes and I remember that excruciating pain I had with her. She just came to fast to quick! I looked at my doctor and said this is when things went from bad to worse with Shay should I expect the same thing? He replied, this one is alot bigger and I think it may be painful just while pushing but not laboring its all the same. I looked at Brian and said "I think I want drugs this time" he replied "Thats your decision not mine" I looked at the doctor and said bring it on! He called the anestesiologist and in he came.

I had NEVER has an epidural before because I as deathly afraid of needles! So as they were prepareing I had a hundred in one questions....Is it gonna hurt? Is it gonna help?, etc.....

AS they prepared me for it they let Brian sit in front of me and hold me over I had my feet on his legs. He was rubbing my legs and reassuring me everything was going to be fine. My contractions were RIDICULOUSLY painful at this point and I was trying to maintain my composure all while being bent over like a pretzel around a beach ball! Brian kept repeating..
Its just a bee sting....
Its just a bee sting....

and then I snapped....

IF ITS JUST A BEE STING THEN YOU REMEMBER THAT WHEN YOU ARE GETTING IT IN YOUR BALLS!!!!! (we had predetermined he was getting the vasectomy)

I thought my nurse would die!!!! She said in her 20 years as a L & D nurse she had NEVER heard such a thing...leave it to me!

The epidural was in and I was beginning to feel better when Nic's heart rate dropped they came in put the O2 on my face and rolled me to my left side. It helped only briefly, but whil on that side I los all my cervix on my left side, so they rolled me to my right....Epidural started to wear off and the pain was getting really bad, My breathing inside my mask sounded like darth vader! As I layed there in pain I uttered not one sound....It hurt to think about what to say!

Around 215pm I looked at Brian and said you need to get the nurse something is happening! He ran out and she came in and looked at me and she knew.....it was TIME!

She checked and I was complete and ready to go for the gold! She yelled out to call the dotor got everything ready and told me to do what my body was telling me! So as she set up and waited for the doctor I was giving little oushes with Brian by my side! When the doctor came in he said are you ready!! Ithink the look I gave him he knew the answer....

After pushing for a few minutes I asked the doctor..."What is that?" he said "What" I said What is that I feel down there and I just reached and he replied "You are touching the top of your sons head" I started to cry alittle he asked if I wanted a mirror I told him yes! I knew Nic was my last and I wanted to see what it looked like on the other end of things!

The mirror was the best thing I ever did! As I pushed I could see him coming out!!! I was the first person to see his big head and little face!!! The mirror was angled just perfectly! I watching him entered into this world in all his glory and crying before he got all they way out!

It was the MOST beautiful thing I had ever seen!! They cleaned him up and put him in my arms and I cried!!

Everyday since then Nic has blessed us with a beautiful personality, killer smile, and amazing dimples! One day if you read this son know one thing if nothing else....You are the most amazing little man I have ever come to know, your generosity and your personality are enough to make my heart sing! Your will always be mamma's man and I love you to the moon and back!

Here is the video I made in honor of his 5th birthday!

Touchdowns and Reses Penis...What a weekend!

2009-11-02T06:26:00.000-08:00

What a weekend! I am sure there are plenty of you thinking the same thing. We spend a fortune on costumes, candy, decorations, all for one night of 2 hours of trick or treating. It is not one of my favorite holiday I prefer food over candy...(Apparently I am geting old) But this also so happens to be the anniversary of my fathers death. Last year on halloween morning I was with my father when he passed away. There was something very symbolic about me leaning over him in a panic over what was happening with my god father by my side helping through my dads last transition from his world to the next. All the while all I could think was he was there the moment I took my very first breath and I was with him when he took his very last. I thought being there would bring me peice but there is nothing about being with a loved one while they die that I will EVER do again. Enough with the sad stuff let me move on to the happier stuff.....Yes I am deflecting thanks for noticing!

It all started Saturday morning with my little mans LAST football game of the season. He ran a play and actually made it more that -3 yards...he is a very little guy! But he ran about 10 with his coasch running beside him yelling GO NIC GOOOO!!! It was great! Well then the last play of the gam came and they gave Nic the ball again and this time he ran it in for his FIRST EVER TOUCHDOWN!!!!!! I was so happy yet so sad that Brian was working and missed his sons first ever touchdown. I had to laugh because Nic came off the feild and said "Mommy that boy pulled my pants down trying to get my flag!" I looked and his spongebob undies were showing! All I could do was laugh! But then here comes the best part......

Walking to the car I was telling him how so very proud I was of him and he replied to me..."I did it to make you happy mommy" I almost cried right there in the parking lot. I squatted down and I hugged him and looked him in the eyes and said.."Baby I dont need you to score me a touchdown to make me happy you all by yourself being you is ALL I need to make me happy!" I need that right when he did it. His coach was standing there when it all took place and he laughed and said "Nic that was awfully nice for you to say to your mom" Nic replied, I know......He is the best!

Well apparently my running running running and lack of sleep has finally caught up with me! When we got home from the game at 915am on Saturday I told the girls I needed to lay down for a minute I was hurting My eyes were throbbing, I felt awful, just SHEAR EXHAUSTION. Brianna told me she had Nic and I could go lay down...I fell right to sleep and didnt wake up till 1230...MAN I was TIRED...Worse part I could have stayed in bed and slept the remainder of the day. I got up took a shower, cleaned the kitchen, and then Brian got home from work and I sat down on the couch and to my surprise fell asleep for another hour. I told Brian I thought something was wrong with me! I shouldnt be that tired then a friend told me about how the human body can only take so much before it will shut down well I had my final countdown and my body shut down! Then it was time to get ready for halloween! Off I was yet again!

The kids were so excited about trick or treating this year! Shay was a zombie hip hopper, Nic was Superman, and Brianna was a Can Can showgirl dancer (big surprise). Well then here comes the funniest thing I have ever heard. If you have ever read any of my other bolgs I had mentioned that Shay has a sppech disabilty it is alot better but the lateral lisp that she has may never go away...Well ontop of that she has NO front teeth. She know that I have 2 favorite candies...Kit Kats and Reses Peanut Butter Cups...Well we get to a house to trick or treat and the kids get there candy and Shay comes RUNNING down the drive way yelling Mommy Mommy I got you favorite candy I GOT YOU YOUR RESES PENIS!!!! I almost fell over laughing! I think she was trying to callthem reses peices instead of penut butter cups and it came out as Reses Penis. I was embarrassed for a minute but them laughed hysterically and corrected her speech. My kids helped me through a very painful day but makeing me laugh! They really are a gift from God.

Here are their cosutmes...

Brianna..Can can show girl dancer

Shailyn...Zombie Hip Hopper

Nicolas....SUPERMAN!

MANIC MONDAY!!!!

2009-10-26T17:15:00.000-07:00

As if Mondays arent bad enough, today was horrible!!! I have had some isomnia issues going on lately and I am not sure why? I know I have alot on my mind but REALLY I need sleep how can my mind keep talking!!! I am working six days a week right now because I dont know how to say no and we really do need the money. So Saturday morning the alarm goes off at 630am! Yes I said 630am...Nic had a football game and I had to have him there by 730am RIDICULOUS I know! But whatever I do all this for my kids! his game started at 8 and ended at 9. I had enough time to get home and drop him and Shay off to Grandma's, then rush off to work till 5 (or so I thought) When I got to work (I am a photogapher for Lifetouch located within Target). When I arrived at work I found out we had a 5 oclock appt so I didnt leave work till 630pm! Shortly after leaving B calls and asks me to get some dinner for the kids....McDonalds it is!

I get home and all I can think is....

BATH

GLASS OF WINE

FLANNEL SHEETS

SLEEP

Well even after all of the above.....no sleep for me. To TIRED to sleep???? Can you believe it??? Who has ever heard of to tired to sleep?? Well I now have. I was still up till 1am. I did sleep till 1030am on Sunday but felt completely DRAINED!!!

I didnt think about groceries......

MANIC MONDAY....
I wake up after tossing and turning all night I actually dont even think I slept at all and got in the shower to prepare for my day of taking care of the daycare kids. When I walk down the steps Shay and Nic are at the table and Bri is in the kitchen she tells me "mom I didnt have any breakfast we are out of milk!" WHAT I said we cant be outta milk I have daycare kids today. I walk over to the coffee pot and turn it on......it doesnt turn on! WTF you stupid piece of sh*t!! At that point I started to cry...no food, no milk, NO COFFEE!!! I call B at work..thankfully he is just down the street at the power plant working and I had a TOTAL MELT DOWN!!! I am exhausted, over worked, frustrated, ANGRY, and tired of being the only one with reponsibility of ALL household happenings!.

B realized I was having a out of body pshycho moment and sprung into action. He left work and went to the store...He got all that was needed and even went to Dunkin Donuts and got me a coffee!!! It doesnt excuse the fact that I am burnt out but made me feel better for the moment!

So tonight I will try to sleep! Tylenol PM here I come....

Coffee.....The honesty drug!

2009-10-23T06:24:00.000-07:00

In honor of the "Blissful Benefit" here is my Coffee Post!

Have you ever just sat back and wondered what it is about a steamy hot brew in your cup made to perfection has in common with women and honesty?? I cant tell you how many times I have had a wife, mother, friend, neighbor at my table or on my front porch with a cup of coffee and solitude and TO MUCH INFORMATION! I have learned more about people over coffee than I have over Miller Lite...

So this is what I have learned over my cups of coffee.....

Women love to talk about sex....I thought this was a man thing but I have learned more from women and coffee than I have from experience and sex ed! I seriously don't need to know your husbands favorite position. But I do think its awesome that you steal the batteries out of your kids toys and then replace them before they wake up in the morning.

Women are under appreciated....Yes I do believe that husbands and children think there is a magic fairy that puts their clothes in the dresser. yes I do think that husband would fall to their knees and beg if you just stopped doing everything you do. YES, I do often feel the same dang way. This is when coffee helps you not feel so alone in the world. best part Coffee then helps women plot. Those are stories for another day....

Desperate Housewives do exist.....If you are having an affair...keep it to yourself! Especially if it is with a married friends husband! HELLO...Please exit my porch and leave your coffee....Home wreckers are not welcomed here.

Your best friends are formed over coffee.....When you can sit back and relax and enjoy the fresh breeze of the outdoor with your girl friend and laugh till coffee pours out of your nose!!! Those are the moments I LOVE!

The family that you think is perfect...ummm not so much....Have you had the family that seems like the Cleavers. Ask the Mother/Wife to join you over that cup of coffee..You will soon find out her perfection is a curtain over a drug addict son, promiscuous daughter, cheating husband, and anxiety medication. You bring out the tissues and think CRAP....I just wanted to hang out.

The friend you think is a friend is not really a friend..This would be the friend that you invite over that shares in detail all the stories above with names dates and locations of those events. My coffee is not for gossip its for fun and relaxation....you stupid B&t#h now I am up tight because I think I shared some information with you that EVERYONE probably now knows! CRAP!

I do love some gossip but the hurtful things should remain unsaid but for some reason you give a women a cup of coffee and its like the truthometor goes NUTS and you are now sitting in awkward silence....sipping your coffee....wondering ummmmmm when are you leaving exactly!

So to all of you sex addict, under appreciated, Desperate home wreckers, Best friends, One step away from level 5 Mothers and Wives out there raise your cup of coffee, smell it, taste it, enjoy it and know the day will go on and the world will not stop spinning so for that brief moment of pure joy.......drink up!

What a interesting evening I had!

2009-10-22T16:55:00.000-07:00

I seriously couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!!!!

So it all started with Bri (she is 9) telling me this morning about a little girl in her grade who pulled up her skirt and sat on a little boy. She was baffled to why someone would do this (god I love innocence) and I told her that not everyone is raised the same way. I told her all that matters is that she doesn't pull her skirt up and sit on a boy until she is married. She replied, Why? I told her it was "Gods Law" I didn't know what the heck to say I told her that girls should respect themselves and if boys respected them then they would also wait until they got married to let her pull up her skirt! This was by far the most awkward moment of my WHOLE life. I haven't had "The talk" yet I am just not ready.

So the morning progresses and I can see that Bri is pondering on something. You know that look children have when they think they have something figured out and then they just are not sure enough to ask.....Well then here it comes

Bri- Mommy I was born February 2000 right???

Me- yes you were (me secretly shitting myself)

Bri- well your picture on the desk of you and daddy getting married says July 29, 2000

Me-(inside head I'm yelling my holy f*ck ) quietly answering ummmmm yeah

Bri- February is BEFORE July!!!

Me- (DAMN YOU EDUCATION DAMN YOU she was bound to figure it out sometime or another) Yes it is (and here it comes)

Bri- MOMMY YOU PULLED YOUR SKIRT UP BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED!!!!!!!!

Me- I replied- ashamed and embarrassed ----Yes Yes I did!

Bri-SO YOU BROKE GODS LAW

Me- Yes I have to go to court when I go to heaven and defend myself to the Good ole Lord himself. I may even go to God jail for a bit be he is very forgiving and I already asked for his forgiveness and I am sure he forgave me!

Bri-Ha better you then me

Gosh I love kids

Then into tonight......

Sitting in the drive through at Burger King Nic informs me that the moon is broken! I said buddy what are you talking about....He said look the moon is broken...I looked and tonight is the fingernail moon when I said that Shay corrected me..."No mom that's a crescent moon" whatever moons a moon a moon!!!

Nic was a inquisitive little turd tonight. As we were driving home from Burger King Nic was staring out the front of the van looking at the car in front of me. Just then....

Nic- Mommy?

Me-Yes buddy

Nic-Why are you chasing cars?

Me-What???

Nic-Why are you chasing Cars?

Me-I'm not chasing cars Nic I am driving they just happen to be in front and driving in the same direction! I'm not chasing cars LOL

Never a dull moment with me and my clan!

Then and Now Thursday!

2009-10-22T10:38:00.000-07:00

I guess haven't really thought to much and the past life I have been a mom for the last 9.5 years! But here goes nothing......

Here is me 16 years old carefree enjoying my Senior year of High School!! Life was about the next big party, who was dating who, and god forbid..Where you were places in the social standings of your high school cool crew!!

I never at that time thought I would be where I am today. I had no plans for my future. My best friend and I were going to pack the car on her graduation day and move far far away from Maryland. Fate.....had other ideas. One month after graduation I met the love of my life....

Along came the wedding and the baby in the baby carriage. And Now here I am 12 years later. Diapers, car pool, potty training, bras, boys, dance recitals, matchbox cars, and late night house cleaning after everyone is fast asleep....

Same husband, 3 children, two dogs, and more love than I thought I EVER deserved! Some days I may think to myself I didn't plan on this, this was not how I envisioned my life. But I can look at the 3 children I brought into this world and think how could life really be any better than this!

Pain is Weakness leaving the body!

2009-10-21T17:59:00.000-07:00

So I had no plans tonight except the usual cleaning, laundry, homework, dinner etc.... Well about 5 o'clock my little sister Melissa (17 almost 18 year old cancer survivor!!! YAY) Called me to ask if I would come hold her hand while she got another TATTOO!!!

Recap.....Her first tattoo is a matching one to mine! Its a cancer ribbon with her favorite color that is actually turned into a butterfly. To symbolize her fight...The butterfly wings are carrying the cancer away. We went together and got the same on in the same place.

So onto tonight, I met her at 6 at the shop and held her hand and HOLY COW I think that hurt worse than her tattoo!!!!! Check out her knuckles on the chair and the knuckles on the hand that is SQUEEZING mine.....

That was PAYBACK for the friends who assisted my Births of my children LOL I am pretty sure my knuckles were touching! As I told her about my pain se informed me that Pain was weakness leaving the body!! Well apparently I am strong as shit after all this pain in my hand!

But the finished product was beautiful! ...........

All in all it was a good night but I need to stop typing my hand is KILLING me! i cant believe I have this much weakness that still needs to be let out! LOL

Wordless Wednesday!

2009-10-21T12:15:00.000-07:00

My big strong husband is a wimp!

2009-10-20T10:56:00.000-07:00

Every Sunday night B and I make sure the kids are in bed by 8 so they are good and asleep so at 9 o'clock we can safely watch Dexter. That is are time and we enjoy it LOL. Well this past Sunday things got very interesting and I found out my husband will be no good if I ever encounter a serial killer LOL.

When the show went off B decided to stay up to check his fantasty football and the scores of the games on Sunday. I told him I was going to bed that 6am comes really early. I proceeded to walk up the steps and half way up I noticed my front door was unlocked, so instead of yelling to B to lock it when he came to bed and risking waking the kids I just decided to lock it myself. i walked down my steps a rounded the corner to lock my door and then ............HOLY F8&K ME......AHHHHHHHHHHH I screamed like a little girl who just had a spider fall in her hair. B was still in the livingroom had no idea what was going on also screamed like a girl and yelled WHAT!!! Hellllloooo arent you suppose to be my knight in shining armour? Arent you suppose to come running to my rescue? Instead you stay where you are and "ask" what happened!!!!

Apparently, my son was never asleep and was being a little ninja in the shadows of the stairway. When I came around the corner he was standing there flush against the wall. He scared me so bad that when I screamed he started crying I scared him just as bad!

All in all I cant rely on my husband and my heart is healthier than I thought and maybe no more serial killer shows before bed!!!

Random B*tch Fest!

2009-10-20T07:17:00.000-07:00

So here is my gripe........

The night all 3 of my children were concieved I could have sworn that someone else was there?? I mean I seriously didnt think that I would be chosen 3 different times for immaculte conception, or am I?
Does anyone else have the same problem as me??

I get so pissed off at everytime there is a problem or some one is touching me, she wont stop staring at me, he took my toy, I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, they wont get out of my room, and my favorite IM DONE COME WIPE ME !!!!!! The only word that preceded these statements...drum roll please.....MOMMY!!!! WTF?????? Really how can you be sitting right next to your father or come running past him to tell me what the problem is!!!! It is official I am changing my name and I refuse to tell the 3 demon spawns what my name will be!

Swine Flu! Ugh its awful!

2009-10-12T05:47:00.001-07:00

So I am 99% sure I had that stupid swine flu!! Can I just say it was horrible!!!!! I started coughing and had a little runny nose on Tuesday, woke coughing even worse on Wednesday and TIRED, same on thursday, Then Friday afternoon I couldnt even get out of bed and thats where I stayed all weekend!!! I never did get the sore throat or the fever but I never run a fever so I didnt think I would! My whole body hurt and I had a horrible upset stomach on top of coughing and blowing my nose. Although my kids were fantastic through the ordeal they still trashed my house! I am sure that I will spend the next week reorganizing and cleaning everything. They didnt fight or bother me or make me get out of bed to deal with dumb little fights, but they did eat all the junk food and pulled out a whole bunch of toys and games. I shouldnt complain about cleaning up when they actually let me sleep and lay in bed all weekend!! I woke up Saturday morning to Nic putting his little hand on my forehead and saying "mommy how are you feeling?" It was SO sweet! Its funny how their compassionate side they learned from me appears when I most need it! If any of you who read this get this flu be prepared to be out of commision for atleast a week. I am just now starting to feel better I am still tired but I can move without pain. Be careful and bleach EVERYTHING when you do feel better (remotes, light switches, phones, doorknobes, toilet handles etc) I kept my self confined to the couch or my bed so I Lysol'ed the couch and stripped my bed and bleached all I could!!

Trials and Tribulations of Parenting!

2009-10-07T15:26:00.000-07:00

This morning Brianna approached me and told me that she didnt feel well and the she wanted to stay home from school today. WELL I am not a push over and told her she didnt appear to be sick and I asked her if she was sick or was she just tired? She replied, I am just tired. I then told her that was not a resonable excuse to stay home. I began to look at her and i thought it was weird that she would lie about not feeling well but had my daycare kids here and just brushed it off. I probably should not have done that. My mother in law takes them to the bus stop for me in the morning because I cannot safely put all my daycare kids in my van. Anyway, a short time later my mother in law calls me and asks me if Brianna was acting weird to me this morning. I responded with "well she was faking sick but I dont think she was different???? Well then she says to me "Oh NO let me tell you what she told me" I am thinking This cant be good???? Apparently a boy that Brianna is friends with told her that two little girls at her school had called Brianna a "Faggot". Brianna was devistated!!!! This has all sparked over the said little boy who really likes Brianna!!! The little boy who told Brianna what had happened also told the girls that he didnt appreciate the girls talking about Brianna....They rolled their eyes and said "WHATEVER". Well, I called the principal and had her speak to all parties involved and the little boy confirmed Brianna's story and then of course........The girls lied and said that they NEVER talk about anyone!!! I know who the one little girl is and I know her mother and it just proves a point I have always said "Children learn what they live" If the mother is a two faced fake person she is teaching her daughter to be a two faced fake person!!!!! I hope you are PROUD of yourself mother of said girl you are #1 MOM in my book. I hope while you are patting yourself on the back you stab yourself with the same knife that is lodged in SO MANY other peoples back. How can a person "claim" to be a AWESOME MOTHER and care about her children teach them to be manipulative and just plain EVIL!! Sorry venting.........But I was very happy to hear the principal talk about how amazing Brianna is and how she ALWAYS shows excellent character and how she was a asset to the school! I am a AWESOME MOTHER and I dont teach my kids to act like a "Mean Girl"

Second Story! ( All in one day)

My daycare kids like to race and rip the race cars around the daycare and everytime I tell them "Please dont race and run at each other someone is going to get hurt!" Well, They dont listen. I had my first daycare injury today!!!! Nic (my son) and the 3 year old boy I have were racing the cars around the daycare and the 3yr old went one way and Nic went the other.......Next thing I know I her CRASH and Crying!! I turn and Nic and the 3 yr old had a head to head collision. The 3 yr old and Nic are crying I am consoling and checking to make sure no one needs medical attention but at the same time I am scolding like this........

to the boy -> "how many times has Mrs. Shannon said dont run at each other with the cars"

the boys -> "(sobbing) every day!!!

to the boys -> "Now do you understand I am not being mean I am keeping you safe"

the boys -> yes cause my head hurts really bad!!!

to the boys -> I bet it does!!! Lets get some ice and we will be all better!!!

I kissed 2 boo boos and everything was fine! Nic does have a really big goose egg on his forehead but he is fine tonight! So if you are reading this thank you for the quick vent and thank you for reading!

Its been way to long since I last blogged!

2009-08-19T13:39:00.000-07:00

Well its OFFICIAL yesterday I became a licensed daycare provider WOO HOO!!!! Its only been a year in the making! Today was my first licensed day with 2 adorable little boys! We finger painted and played red light green ligh we ripped and raced and played hard all day and it was fantastic!!! This has always been my dream to work with children and it has finally come true!

The kids go back to school next week and I think they are good and ready!! All is well here the kids are doing great and getting big! Nicholas is so excited I am doing daycare and home with him all day!! Things are about to get crazy again Nic is playing football and the girls are dancing again so Mon-Sat we are booked and some sundays depending on dance rehearsals.So its just another adventure in the life of SUPER MOM OF 3!

Responsibilty...Please tell me if I am wrong

2009-04-28T16:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have been testing this theory and so far so good.

I am a firm believer in teaching your children responsibility and consequences for there actions and choices. In order for me to do what I do for my children I make them carry alot of responsibility. Mind you my children are 9, 7 (on Monday), and 4. I no longer get up with them in the morning. This is our schedule....

700am- Brianna's alarm goes off and she gets up on her own and goes to wake up her sister. They get dressed and they go downstairs to the kitchen where they make breakfast. Just to let you know I am awake and I am actually in the shower getting ready for my day. Sometimes Nic is awake but not always he is LAZY! After the girls eat they pack their lunch (which I randomly check so they know sandwich, chips, cookie, yogurt, fruit or vegetable and juice box or water). When they are done they proceed upstairs where they brush their hair and teeth make the beds and pick up all their laundry. At 820 we leave the house and go to the bus stop.

I was told that some of my friends disagree with the fact that I don't make their lunches or breakfast. That my job as a mother is to provide all of that for them (ha ha hahahahaha) Well my feeling on that is I have seen some of the laziest most disrespectful down right nasty children who care about nothing come from homes with no responsibility's. My girls have come to like the routine we have in place. When they help me I am able to spend more time with them and run them to dance 3 nights a week and spend WHOLE weekends at dance competitions.

When it comes to consequences if I give my kids a choice (and this goes for Nic to) they have to deal with it EX:

I offer you waffles or cereal for breakfast and you choose waffles you are eating them. I tell them that they were given a choice and thats what they choose so deal with it. You have to take ownership of the choices you make and the consequences of doing so.

I am so tired of seeing kids make decisions that end up affecting the parents and they just dont care. I decided early on that for every responsibility I carry my children will do equal (once age appropriate of course). I see kids walk into the house and throw EVERYTHING onto the floor and tell the parents to pick it up WHO TAKES ORDERS FROM THEIR CHILDREN!!!! Hello YOU ARE THE PARENT NOT THEM!

I dont know I am just looking for other mothers opinions regarding this. But I have to say what ever I am doing is working because my daughters teacher told someone else that he didnt know what we were doing to raise such a lovely young lady and whoever is raising her is doing an AMAZING job. I love to hear that!

Dont underestimate the ages of my children Brianna is wise beyond her years and VERY MATURE for her age. I refuse to feel like a slave to my family and I think my children are respecting the fact that I have given them more responsibility.

To Cute!

2009-04-22T09:49:00.000-07:00

So, Nic and I tackled the front yard yesterday. I pulled weeds as he gathered the piles and put them in a 5 gallon bucket (Out wheelbarrel is BROKEN!) so we could carry it across the street and dump it. I also edged out the flower beds (dug a trench pretty much) and I never realized how heavy 5 gallons of dirt really was. But now worries Nic carried the other side of the bucket and amazingly it didnt seem that heavy when he put his hand on it to help me. After I finished the yard Nicolas and I decided to wash the van. Well he only helped about 5 minutes before he decided to wash his tractor LOL It was so dang cute!!! He parked it on the sidewalk stole my rag and my bucket and the hose and washed it! I wanted to take a picture but I couldnt find my stupid camera I swear I can never find it when I need it!

Girls Day Out!!!

2009-04-10T18:45:00.000-07:00

I had the BEST DAY today. I took my 2 baby girls to the mall and we spent the whole day together. I took them to the salon and got their hair cut. Brianna's looks amazing they thinned it out and OH MY she looks like a completely different kid! Shays was just cut to below her shoulders and straight across. After I cut all her hair off two years ago she wont let anyone touch her hair. She was not happy about it today.

We arrived at the mall and headed for Claires. The girls had (what I thought was $20 gift cards, apparently they were $30 dollar cards) Gift Cards from Christmas 2 years ago. Can you tell this was a BIG DEAL we NEVER go to the mall. Well once the girls realized that they only had $20 dollars to spend (like I said I was wrong) we were in there FOREVER! Every time they picked something out I told them the price it was and how much they had left. Well Shailyn got frustrated half way through the store and says..."Why is everything so expensive" I laughed, Shay everything has always been expensive but you have always spent mommy and daddy's money but now you are having to spend yours its not much fun is it. But I was proud of them they did use their money wisely. Then we headed out for lunch.

We hopped into Children's Place after lunch and hopped into some really great sales. I got a WHOLE BAG of clothes for $117.00 It was awesome....Then off the Journeys Kids where we found shoes for $4.99. We picked a great day to shop there were some good sales a clearance stuff too!

After we left the mall we hit Old Navy for matching flip flops and then target for some shorts for Bri (I still wasn't paying $24.50 for shorts) On the drive home the girls were talking about all the GREAT clothes they got and how nice it was to spend the day with mom.

These are the days that I LOVE BEING A MOTHER!!!

To protect you must also sacrafice!!!!

2009-04-09T10:28:00.000-07:00

HOW I PROTECTED

Well last Friday I found out that Shailyn has been being bullied on the school bus and let me tell you something "Dont piss off a momma"!!!! Apparently the girl Shailyn was sitting with was forcing Shay to sit by the window and not allowing her to talk and when Shailyn did she shoved her against the window. Well that was all I needed to hear....

When we got out to the bus stop I waitied patiently for the bus to come and when it did I flew out of the van. I climbed right up on that bus and told the bus driver what was going and demanded that Shays seat be changed. He told me his bus was full and that he would have to figure something out. I said "Oh HELL NO! I am not getting off this bus until you change my daughters seat.....and he did! I informed him that I was also calling the school to handle this situation.

When I got off of the bus my new neighbor was looking at me like I was NUTS!! LOL Well if you mess with my babies you will definately see the nasty side of me. She said "Are you okay?" I laughed and said yes and just gave her a brief synopsis of what I had learned about what was happening to Shay. She said WOW you are always so neat and nice and put together and then this morning I saw a whole new light around you and I was scared LOL!!! I just laughed it off and said as long as she was not hurting one of my children she would never have to worry about encountering that Shannon ever again!!!

I called the Vice Principle and thankfully I volunteer alot and he knows me. He sprung into action and handled the situation. He called Shailyn down to the office got her side of the story and then talked to the other BRAT and told her bullying was not tolerated and if he heard of it happening again he would take further action. He also made sure that the bus driver permantely moved Shays seat.

HERE IS THE SACRAFICE!!!

Sometimes I dont understand parenting.

Shailyn has now been moved to the back of the bus with her sister. Which I thought would work out better. I was wrong....

While at competition this past weekend one of Shays dance mate informed me that Shailyn told her a story of another little boy and girl at her school were caught taking their clothes off and kissing!!!!!!

I was mortified that my daughter told this story. When we got home my husband and I sat her down and asked her what was going on. Brianna also confirmed that Shay overheard other kids in the back of the bus talking about this situation. Brian and I told her she was never to repeat the things she hers to other kids and that she needs to tell a grown up what she hears.

I dont know what to do I can drive them to school everyday but picking them up is a problem both Brian and i are working at 330pm. So to save my 6 yr old from a bully I feel like I am sacraficing her innocence! I am at a loss and I just figure I will come up with a way to stop her from riding the bus and protect her a little longer!!

I know I know I suck at this but TODAY I AM A PROUD MAMMA!!!!

2009-04-08T21:07:00.001-07:00

Well as most of you know I am a mom to two beautiful dancers!!!

This pas t weekend we had a dance competition and Brianna performed her SOLO for the first time! Well She danced on Saturday at which time we realized they put her in the WRONG CATAGORY!! They had her in the "Future Stars" (which means they have little to no competiton experience and is meant to be a steping stone for the kids) age range 9-11. Well Brianna is technically nine but JUST turned nine and was suppose to be in the 8 and under catagory. Well we fixed that and asked the judges to place her in the right catasgory and they did. Brianna did her solo her song is concrete angel by martina mcbride. She NAILED it!!! I cried like a two year old who just had a lollipop snatched from them. I was very proud of her to have enough courage to get on that stage and dance as if noone was watching. She looked like she owned that stage. After she was done the judges informed her choreographer that we would not recieve her scores until SUNDAY!!! ugh Saturday night was a LONG night.

Sunday morning we had to report back at 1230 for the awards because the other 8 and unders all performed Sunday morning. Well they announced her name and she won.......

ELITE GOLD AND FIRST PLACE IN HER CATAGORY and SECOND PLACE OVERALL IN HER AGE DIVISION!!!!!

For her first time out on a stage alone I was in shock and on a emotional high!!!! My babygirl has made my day!

These are the moments as a mother that I live for. She was so happy and just seeing her facelight up and carry her trophy and her metals was pure bliss.

Shailyn also danced this weekend and did fantastic as well she is so dang cute coming up behind her sister. She wants to be just like her ( I just wish she could clean up after herself like Brianna does LOL).

Shailyn has the cute factor going for her. She could stand there and win trophys just for being cute LOL.

All and all it was a very good weekend!

Nicholas Cracks me up!

2009-02-16T18:59:00.001-08:00

This morning I see Nicholas is still in bed....'

I run and jump into his bed and snuggle him REALLY tight and kiss him all over and then tickle him to death while shouting "Why are you not out of bed". He is giggling all over his self.

He recently started sharing a room with Shay because he wouldnt sleep in his own room and was always climbing in bed with her and they both agreed they wanted to share a room. This made Brianna very happy because she got her own room (Nic's old room). This worked out great Nic wants Tractors and Shay wants Horses and well.....They go together.

I asked Nic if he liked sleeping in his new bed he replied "Yup" "Shay sleeps behind me in her bed and I sleep in my bed". But mommy I dont like Shays horse picture???? I am puzzled by that it is a great picture of beautiful palaminos grazing in a field so I ask him why not?

He replied...The horses are evil........

I died laughing. I told them they were not evil and he laughed and said They wont eat my carrots for me so they are EVIL!

Feeling the sting.......

2009-02-11T19:30:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note!!!

We are having issues with Brianna treating her sister very badly. Well after bringing her not so nice behavior to her attention I asked her how she would feel if I treated her the way she treats her sister? She replied "I wouldn't". Well here goes....

This morning Shailyn came into my room upset that Brianna wouldnt let her put a bow in hair ( The bows are Briannas). When Brianna came into my room I asked her why her sister couldnt wear one of her bows. She said " I dont want her to lose them" I replied "She has worn one in her hair all week and has yet to lose one you need to give me a better expination because Shay had given her all her money that she had been saving so you could go to the movies with a friend" Bri then replied (Your gonna love this).... "I am not wearing a bow in my hair today I dont think she needs one in her hair".

I was unaware that the world worked that way!

This is where the lesson of the day comes in.........

About 5 minutes later Brianna comes to me and say's "Mommy I have dance today and I need you to pull my hair up in a bun."

Really!

Well I turned to her and said............

I am not wearing my hair in a bun today so I dont think you should either!!!!!

The look on her face was priceless!!!!!

I told her that I suggest that if she needed her hair in a bun that she better figure it out on her own.

Well..............

She did!

Then...

I noticed Shay had a bow in her hair when she left for school..........

WHOA! What a shocker!

2009-02-11T18:44:00.000-08:00

Sorry I havent posted lately but as my headline say "Busy mom of 3".....

So I am on the journey to opening up a home daycare. WOW the stuff they make you do is ridiculous. I have to take 24 hours of classes and I am confused???? I am a mother of 3 what have I not experienced?? Anyways, I started my classes last night and my first class was in special needs. I went into this class thinking ok special needs......Autism, Cerebal Palsey, Severly Handicapped, etc. Well when I first entered and sat down I began to realize that I was WRONG!

The instructor put us in groups and asked us to write down what we think when we hear special needs, my brain went into overdrive and I put my head in the game and realized ok special needs is any child who requires alittle more attention than a average child (I hate saying "normal") Then it hit me (or maybe I was in denial) I had a child with special needs.

Shailyn (now 6) athe age of 2 was hardly talking and if she did it was really hard to understand her. I kept saying to friends with children that I didn't understand why she didnt talk like her older sister did at her age. Everyone said "You cant compare children because they all develop differently." I knew that but my mommy intuition said otherwise. Well long story short I contacted Child Find (A organization for children with disabilities) and they diagnosed her with Speech Aproxia- The inability for the signals in her brain to reach her tongue. She was in Speech Therapy for 3 years and I can say...she tested out of speech this year because she is a "Straight A" student and her speech has no educational impact. She still doesnt speak very well but its way better than she was.

I started thinking about my own children and trials I am going through, Or should I say my misfortune.

Brianna...Perfect!! Straight A student, Extremely intellegent, reads way beyond her grade level, Average size, Average weight, all around exactly what every parent wishes for

Shailyn.....Tiny little thing with a heart of gold. She would cut off her left leg even if she needed it and give it to you because you would need it. Has a speech disability, Asthma, and a common cold for her will turn into puemonia in like 5 minutes.

Nicholas...Poor Nicholas......Cute as a Button and he doesnt grow! Mothers never say I wish they would stay little forever because it could happen! He is 4 yrs old and I can still carry him on my hip. He is the size of a 2 year old. We have been monitoring his growth for the last year and sadly nothing has happened. We are meeting with the Chief of Pediatric Endocrinology at Georgetown in 2 weeks. I will be posting this journey alot!

How is it that I did Everything the same with all 3 but only one is "Average". It pisses me off that I did what I was told, I read every book, I ate healthy, I took my vitamins, I went to the doctors like I was suppose to (Maybe more) and then we have these women that I see not doing what they are suppose to and end up with "Average Children".

I am a great mother. I live for my children and their needs, I put them before myself all the time.

I am thankful for this Special Needs class that put things into perspective. I often like having these pondering thoughts. ......

Friday, Oh Lovely Friday!

2009-01-30T07:33:00.001-08:00

Well most people love Fridays I in fact dread them. This is day three for us and our 3 consistent nights of dance classes (But this is the looooong night) Brianna has to be there at 415 pm and Shailyn has to be there by 6pm and they both dance till 9!!! YAY! (sarcasm) I do enjoy sitting and talking with some of the other moms we exchange websites and sale information for anything that has to do with dance supplies. believe me we need all the discounts we can get! This is a expensive hobby!

Tonight is the big "THIS IS HOW SHOW TROOP WORKS" meeting. HELLO, I have been doing this for 3 years I can glue eye lashes on with my eyes closed and have hair/make up down to 45 minutes why do I need to attend jeesh! Most of my friends are hanging out at home decompressing from the long stressful week of work and I am not getting home till 10 because I have to sacrafice my free time for my children ( 18 years right 18 years) no propping my feet up , drinking hot chocolate, watching a movie I am sitting in a building with very little heat and smells like sweaty feet. Okay I sound like I am b*&^ching but I am not whats 5 hours of my time on a friday. Be real Shannon your a mom its all about them.

On a good side my husband is leaving work early and we are going to have lunch together today. I am excited about that we NEVER get any time together. We will have Nicholas with us but one is better than 3! I sometimes wonder how marriages survived 40-50 years ago. The wives stayed home and cared for the children while the husbands worked all the time and they still managed to find time to have 8-10 kids! I cant find time in my schedule to even kiss my husband. We usually wave at each other as we pass each other on the road and when I get home he is sleeping because he gets up at 1 in the morning!! Very frustrating. When we are home together the kids demand his attention and I am usually cooking or picking up around the house. I have to say I am jealous of how much time my kids get with Brian. he can be EXHAUSTED after working a 16 hour day and still get down on the floor and wrestle. I watch them and think.......damn I wish I could wrestle but then every one will starve because dinner wont be ready! Well I am going to cherish this little bit of time at lunch with him. I hope every one has a good Friday!

Well here I am!

2009-01-29T19:06:00.000-08:00

Hello All,
I have never tried this blog thing before besides my facebook or myspace. I have decided to enter this fabulous world of blogging! I am a young mother of 3 unbelievable children Brianna is 8 (9 next week) Shailyn is 6 and Nicholas is 4. I can promise there is never a dull moment in my house! While I do love them they can drive me nuts! My friends say I spread myself way to thin but I cant help it! They are all only this age once and I cant stand the thought of missing anything!!!!! I think I am raising my children to be very well rounded children. just yesterday I felt horrible I could barely get out of bed Brianna sprung into action like the worldest best daughter she took care of everything!!!! She made her brother and sister breakfast lunch and 2 snacks. She even made me lunch and brought it to me in bed! They are sheltered from alot of what goes on in this world but i can say I dont lie to them I just tell them the truth in a age appropriate way. My husband and I try to see eye to eye when it comes to parenting but i am sure we will all see in this blogging journey just how different we are! Thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully this will get better for me any suggestions I am ready!