Then and Now Thursday...Relationship Edition.

So a situation played out last night that had me laying in bed thinking....What happens to your sex life after marriage and kids?

Scene...Myself and B just finishing up a night of catching up on DVR not cuddled on the couch but sitting in opposite ends of the couch. We are in the kitchen just straightening before bed. I walk over and lock the side door and turn around and there is B he blocks me from getting by, he pulled me into him and gave me a AMAZING kiss! We stood there for maybe a minute just kissing each other and then I tapped his back (signaling the end) and as I pulled away he looked me in my eyes and said "I love you". Sweet yes I know but here I am all cynical and shit I walk away saying yeah yeah whatever you don't love me..(Why did I do this exactly?) He replied..with sarcasm......"Oh yeah that's right I am just here for all that hot steamy sex we are always having." I laughed it off and went upstairs replying "Ha in our younger days" I layed down to finally go to sleep. Thing is I didn't go to sleep I layed there thinking....Here is my edition of Then and Now....

THEN

12 years ago......

B and I could not be in the same room with out touching each other

We had sex EVERYDAY (no joke)

If we weren't together I missed him so bad that when he walked in the door I practically jumped him and he acted as if he felt the same way!

I could look at him across the room and feel so much LOVE I couldn't stand it!

Our eye contact no matter where we were felt magical.

B and I would surprise each other with dumb balloons or love notes hidden in places that the other was sure to find during the day.

Walking anywhere B held my hand.

When we went to bed together we were in tangled you couldn't tell where one began and the other ended.

If the opportunity presented itself we would have sex anywhere (car, kitchen table, bathroom sink, beach, many different friends houses usually during a party (sorry guys lol) etc.)

B would page me (sounds funny to say that) just to say 8 3 1 ( eight letters, three words, one meaning... I LOVE YOU!)


NOW

We sit on opposite ends of the couch to watch TV or Movies...maybe I will lay my head on his lap but it all depends.

We have sex maybe once a month. PATHETIC I KNOW!!!!!

When were are apart I still have three other people who require more attention than B that I don't even realize he isn't home. When he walks into the door I feel like I am barking orders...Can you please let the dogs out? Shay needs help with her homework, Can you please get your son off my leg for five minutes so I can finish cooking dinner!, You really need to go to the dump the damn squirrels got into again today!, Bri needs to be picked up from carpool in one hour can you do it? etc...

I look at B across the room and if he is sitting I feel angry...why I don't know...he works ALOT and EARLY....I shouldn't be but I am....Especially if I am frantically cleaning or still have the whole mommy, mommy, mommy CAN YOU PLEASE SAY DADDY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!!

Eye contact.....Whats that?

Love notes???? Un heard of.....The last time B did that he wrote in the bathroom mirror with my FAVORITE lipstick and it took me 20 minutes to clean it off....I was not accepting to this...Although I should have felt lucky and appreciated the gesture..instead i called him and I quote "OF ALL THE LIPSTICKS IN MY MAKEUP DRAWER YOU PICKED THE ONLY ONE I WEAR I appreciate what you did but next time reach to the back of the drawer not the front (I am such a bitch)

Hold my hand....impossible I already have 2 hands I am holding and B is usually holding Nic.

Go to bed together HA actually double HA! I am usually up late doing all the things I cant when the kids are awake. If we do manage to go to bed I do have a rule...At least our feet should touch...Most of the time we have a kid in the middle so no cuddling.....and if our feet aren't touching under the covers someone is pissed...


Sex....restricted to the bedroom....DOORS LOCKED......and we actually have to have an opportunity.....

B still does text me sometimes during the day just to say he loves me but they are very few and far between...



I guess this is just me wondering WHAT HAPPENED??? When did things change? I still love him but where is that passion we had for each other? What happened to the ripping off the clothes, cant get enough, more more more S and B? Does that all go away when kids get involved...if so...WHY? We have a beautiful family we should be overcome in that and bond over that and love each other deeper and more meaningful since we have 3 beautiful, amazing connections to each other? Maybe this could be a new blog idea...My trials and tribulation's of rekindling a lost connection....Knowing us it could make for some pretty funny reading....

Mommy is Santa real?

So this years Christmas season had been extra challenging with the whole is Santa real dilemma! Brianna is in fourth grade and has been told since Kindergarten by class room brats that Santa isn't real. PARENTS can you please control you need to tell kids earlier and earlier that Santa isn't real!!! I mean at least teach your kids Santa respect ex. If you chose to tell your child the truth can you please tell them that they should keep it to their selves and NOT ruin it for other children! Yes I already know that I am probably scarring my children for life by telling them they always have to tell me the truth when all year I lie to them...Easter bunny, Tooth fairy etc... But its all for the magic and excitement of childhood. My brother has opted to NOT do Santa in his house with my nieces instead of Santa bringing the gifts its Mommy and Daddy. He claims he was devastated to find out our parents lied to him. I think frankly that's a CROCK OF SHIT but who am I to say how he felt.

Brianna came home the other day with a really good and very difficult question.

Mommy if Santa brings all kids who are good presents on Christmas Eve then why do we donate toys to Toys for Tots for kids who don't get anything from Santa?

Well damn....How do I answer this?

I then sat her down and how I managed to pull this out of my ass I will NEVER know how!!

I said....

Brianna remember last year when we were following Santa Blog and the elves were on strike and they demanded higher pay and better health care! (the writer of this blog is genius)Well Santa did give in and this is how all this came about... Well you need to understand something when Santa started this whole bringing toys to kids stuff toys use to be Wooden trains and Rag baby dolls and the elves could make these things in the toy shop. Well since then kids and toys have evolved and now its Xbox, DSI, Nintendo's, Mechanical toys, etc... Well those things cant be made in the toy shop Santa has to go out and buy those things so along time ago Santa started talking with the parents and based off the children's Christmas list of wants Santa started charging a certain amount of the cost to the parents. Every year when you have you Christmas list ready mommy and daddy talk to Santa and come up with a payment plan of sorts and we have to give him a certain amount of money to cover the cost. Well some parents don't have the money to even give Santa so he started the Toys for Tots as a way to get families to donate toys to the organization and then he picks them up and takes them to all the kids who don't get anything. WHEW that was alot and some serious quick thinking on my part!

She said she understood and was no longer confused but then she said well so and so told me his parents told him Santa wasn't real! WTF people hurdle after hurdle maybe I should just tell them but that would ruin my Christmas I LOVE SANTA and the MAGIC of Christmas. I replied

He was probably REALLY naughty and when his parents met with Santa he probably told them they didn't have enough money to pay Santa to bring a naughty kid presents! I don't know what to say......

I just hope that I can at least get this year out of her but she will know that if I find out she ruins it for her younger siblings she will get NOTHING for Christmas LOL!!

TMI but I dont care its HYSTERICAL!

I meant to post this sooner but I have been shit tons of busy lately. Working the 2 jobs and entertaining daycare kids all day is EXHAUSTING but here goes....

Last week I had some shopping to do and I took Nic with me. He INSISTED on going to Chick-Fil-A although I LOVE their food it doesn't sit right in my tummy. We eat in the restaurant and then go hit up Target for some needed items. Of course the store is packed with all these damn Christmas shoppers and I was feeling anxious to begin with (not good for the belly either). then of course the fast food gurgle gut hits right in the middle of the store. You know the kind where you go Shit (no pun intended) I NEED to find a bathroom ASAP! yeah I hate those. Well I have this HUGE anxiety issue 1. #2 in public and 2. #2 in public with people in the bathroom. So I rush to the front of the store like a stupid Imodium commercial you know the song ....gotta go gotta go right now! yeah that was me! I am dragging Nic and we get to the bathroom SHIT its PACKED!! Now the gurgle gut gets worse with the stupid anxiety over the whole EVEN having to go to the bathroom dilemma. So I take Nic into the stall with me and I grab one of those paper toilet covers and think if I flush and go at the same time no one will be the wiser. SO I do this and score no one noticed. Here is the bathroom nice and quiet people just washing their hands and getting out and then it happens........Nic busts out laughing...and I quote...."MOMMY YOU ARE SO COOL YOU JUST FLUSHED THE POTTY AND POOPED AT THE SAME TIME" at the very moment I could have DIED of embarrassment and flushed my son all the SAME TIME.

God I love kids......They can embarrass you faster than anyone else.

Oh Brianna........

I feel like I never talk about Bri or share any funny stories about her on here, but honestly she is a good kid. She's relatively quiet, reads alot in her room alone, OCD, Type A, very old soul, all around great kid! I am not just saying that about her she really is. Well she is also about to hit that.......well.....we all know its coming...women hood stage UGH!!!!! I am so not ready for that!!! But in the last two days her hormones are on OVERDRIVE and she is very moody and quick to cry for no reason so we have all been feeding her chocolate and leaving her alone. Before anyone says anything I was 10 when I became a women and she will be 10 in a couple of months! Her pediatrician told me 8 months ago to have "the talk" because she was already high up on the Tanner Scale for puberty. Yeah ME! She has had 2 moments that made me crack up the last 2 days.

FIRST STORY!!

We were sitting at the dinner table and she was just kinda sitting with her elbow (I know bad table manners)on the table with her head in her hand eating. She was obviously pissed off about something but wasn't trying to share. I kept asking her about her day, we started to discuss some things with her that are a bit life changing and we were asking her opinion on it and she was fine with the decisions we were talking about. I cant go into great detail because there are people who read my blog that I don't want to know just yet what is being discussed because it isn't confirmed that this is what we are doing yet. But in our discussion Brianna was still sitting in the above referenced position and B and I were talking and she starts like talking out loud but I think she was talking to herself not realizing that she was ACTUALLY talking out loud and then she says........"I really don't care what you decided just as long as so and so doesn't BITCH at me like so and so does.". I thought I would die B and I both looked at each other and started giggling with our faces turned away from her. She looks up from her dinner plate and says WHAT B said (LMAO even as I type cause it was hilarious) Brianna I know your opinionated and getting older but can you please just watch you mouth. She looked at us like we were crazy and said WHAT, WHAT DID I SAY.... B told her and she started to cry and we laughed harder....I told her she wasn't in trouble but just keep those kinda of thoughts inside her head not out at the dinner table in front of her siblings! She then said....she hadn't realized that she said it out loud! Freakin hilarious. (At least I think) But gotta loves those hormones.....

Second story

Brianna came home the other day and said she had this really great sandwich at dance the other night that one of her friends shared with her. I said oh yeah what was it? She said it was a peanut butter sandwich with marshmallow puff on it. Can you believe I have NEVER given my kids a fluffer nutter. B was standing there when we had the conversation and told her "That's a fluffer nutter" I had a friend in school that ate one EVERYDAY" Bri said, They are really good!! I looked in my cabinet and I had some marshmallow puff left over from rice krispie treats I made with my daycare kids at snack time, and said look we have the stuff if you want to take one in your lunch tomorrow. She said OH YEAH,

This morning I saw her making her sandwich and I asked her how she liked the sandwich yesterday at lunch.....

She replied, It was good but I had to much fluffer and not enough nutter!

I cracked up and helped her put the right amount of both so hopefully today's lunch will be much better!

part of childhood or should I be concerned?....Nic has a tick

Ok, for real this time I need some advice....

I am slightly concerned about Nic. Nic is the calm mellow child who sits back and takes it all in but on the rare occasion he actually gets in trouble when I would try to talk to him he would constently blink his eyes. NO big deal he was anxious and doesnt like direct eye contact while in a situation where he is getting corrected. Well it seems to be getting worse.

We took Nic to the aquarium for his birthday (he just turned 5) and while we were watching the dolphin show I noticed he was blinking rapidly and hard along with a facial twing?? I asked him if he was ok or if his eyes were burning he said he was fine and his eyes didnt hurt. I just wrote it off for the moment but I then noticed he kept doing all day. I said something to B and he noticed it to and said he didnt know why he was doing it either.

I guess I didnt think much more about it and let it go til this past Saturday. Iwas at work when my mother in law called me at work and them immediately text me PLEASE CALL ME which was a red flag. I called her back when I finished up my appointment and the first thing she said after hey was "WHATS WRONG WITH NICS EYES??" I said what do you mean? She replied, He keeps blinking them and squishing up his face like he cant control it he has been doing it all day FIL noticed it to. I told her I wasnt sure what it was but I had noticed it the weekend prior and just thought maybe he had dry eyes or something. She then says....Whats WRONG with him? I dont know I am not a doctor MIL all I can do is call one on Monday. When my boss asked me what was wrong I told her about Nic and some of my co workers said ...."Is it a tick?" is he ticking like tourettes. This SCARED ME! Could my son have the starts of tourettes?

Well I got off work and B was in the kitchen and said we need to take Nic to the doctors I noticed what mom and dad were saying he is doing it ALOT! We all sat down to watch the hockey game and I noticed the whole time he was watching TV he was doing it. I asked him again....Buddy whats wrong with your eyes...he replied, I dont know it just keeps doing it I cant help it. This made me feel bad.I started researching childhood facial ticks and tourettes does in fact start in childhood through adolesent and usually starts withthe facial ticks. BUT it also said it usually is accompanied by ADD/ADHD, learning disabilites and behavioral issues..NIc had NONE of those. He sits for long periods of time, and he will sit and do lessons doing preschool time during the day. I dont know I am just having a moment of being scared for my son. All weekend we noticed it was really bad. He was doing it in all situations playing with his dad, watching TV, when I was reading him a book, and when he was eating dinner.

I guess what I need to know is this normal childhood behavior or should I be concerned. I did make him an appointment with a pediatric neurologist but he cant be seen until january 18th. This is going to be the longest 2 months ever!! Here is the video of him doing it....

Just plain scary!!!!!!!!!

I had a terrifying moment last night and I hope to never have to have it again....

Preface

About a month or so ago my mother-in-law called me to tell me about this truck that she has seen on our street. Because I have a daycare and a mini van I am unable to take my girls to the bus stop ( I don't have enough room to safely strap everyone in). Since she is my neighbor she does it for me very nice I know).

She started seeing this man sitting in a truck in random places on our street like he was waiting for something or someone!! She was very disturbed because she saw him during elementary school bus stop times. All of us parents immediately think WORSE POSSIBLE SCENARIO A MAN......BUS STOP.....SMALL CHILDREN. I had not seen the truck or the man so I just let it pass by my mind. Then my kids thought they saw him at night one night in front of our house...I looked...NOTHING. I started to think my in laws and children were NUTS!!! My Mother in law then got the make and model and tag number and reported him the the police. Well then.......he appeared in a DIFFERENT vehicle. She then really panicked!!! I didn't know what to say or think about that. Well my father in law saw him one night and decided to try to ask him why he was just sitting on our street! The guy took off like a bat outta hell and my FIL tried to chase him down and lost him.....RED FLAG Why is he running from a plain old man!!! So, my FIL then called the police again and gave him the new tag number, make and model. So, this past Wednesday Veterans day my oldest walked to her grandmothers to hang out for a bit and while she was there she took the dog out to use the bathroom and came running back into the house the man in the truck was OUTSIDE my MIL's house!!! Parked behind the trees just sitting there!!! When he say my MIL he left! He hadn't been seen again till..........

WORSE NIGHT EVER

I was awakened by B BLOWING UP my cellphone at 2am. My husband is a truck driver and leaves my house at 1am on the mornings he works. I thought.....CAR ACCIDENT HOLY SHIT!!! been there done that with him before! I answer...

Hello

Hey I'm fine but I need you to do me a favor

OK

Get up and look out the window

WTF why?? Its 2am!!!!

I know I am sorry I don't mean to scare you but when I went out to start the car this morning that "truck" was parked on front of the house. When he saw me he hauled ass out of here. I let the car warm up (I am on the phone now having an anxiety attack) when I left I didn't see him, I didn't feel right so I turned around and came down the other road behind us and looped around the other way and I found him sitting in front of the house AGAIN....same thing he hauled ass when he saw me. I came back into the house and made sure EVERYTHING was bolted and locked! When I left again I didn't see him so just make sure he still isn't there!

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!! There was a man in front of our house and YOU left with me and my whole 105 pound self and 3 small children AND YOU WENT TO WORK!!!!!!!!!

S I didn't see him anymore I thought he was gone...I shouldn't have called and woke you up I know how you are (paranoid, freaked out, have a game plan mapped out in my head what I would do in a worse case scenario, wake him in the middle of the night because I heard a CRACK and swore someone was in the house, make him check EVERY closet and cubby hole in my house at 3am) you probably wont sleep!

You are damn right I am not gonna sleep are you serious!!! I am freaking out!!!

Well I already called the police and they are sending someone out to patrol the street!

That does not make me feel bettter!!


End of call


I did just that I laid in bed awake having a PANIC ATTACK...no xanex! SHIT!

well then things got even more scary...as I laid there awake trying to calm my nerves.......


I SEE HEADLIGHTS ON MY WINDOW BLINDS

I freak!!!

I call B


He's back!!! I can see him he is now parked 2 houses down with his lights shining on our house!!!!!

Call the police....

OK!!!!



555-555-5555......Hello Officer ????? speaking

Hi My name is SC my husband called you earlier about a man parked in front of my house....hes back!

Ok ma'am are you alone?

No I have 3 small children!!!!

Ok we have already dispatched a officer to the area he should be there soon!

THANK YOU!!!

hang up


I am in a utter state of panic!! What the FUCK am I going to do if this douchbag tries to come into my house!!! seriously will my instinct to protect my babies kick in or will I gather them together and huddle in a closet and hope like hell he doesn't find us!!! SCARED, SCARED, SCARED!!!!!!

I call my IL's and wake up the MIL!!!

MIL.....I tell her the above story...

OMG I will wake FIL.

No don't what if this crazy guy has a GUN!!

FIL use to be a cop.....he knows what to do!

No the Cops are coming let them do their job...This whole time I am crouched down on the floor fearfully peering through the window blinds watching....I see movement on the outside of the truck....The SON OF A BITCH is out of his truck...or so I thought....It was the COPS!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!!

The cop then after speaking with the gentleman about his behavior over the course of the month and a half and the FEMALE he had in the car with him it was determined...

He was married.......lives in a different part of the county, and is sleeping with a Young lady on our street. Apparently the random parking...RANDOM HOOKUPS!!!!

Nice!!!

The cop had parked in front of my house and my FIL walked down and got that information from him....APPARENTLY the man and women didn't realize they were scaring all the PARENTS on our street! The cop asked them why the didn't just go to HER house too......well.....hookup! She said her roommate hates him and he isn't aloud inside her house....SOUNDS LIKE A WINNER!!

END OF STORY!!!

I want a GUN!!! I am tired of feeling helpless and scared for me and my children....B has horrible hours and I cant take that shit!! I have always been scared of a gun but I think I may have to find someone to take me to a range and teach me how to use one!!! This day and age is ridiculous....I need to protect my babies at all costs!!! How much longer before someone does try to come into my home....I watch the news, I hear whats going on, and I am NOT going to be a VICTIM!!!

My Little Man is 5 yrs OLD TODAY!!!

I remember this day is it was yesterday. I was scheduled for a induction and told to arrive at the hospital at 630am. As I was outside putting my bags in the car Brian yelled out the door..."The hospital just called they said you cant come in today for your induction!!" I yelled WHAT!!!! I had been in preterm labor and on bed rest for 10 weeks, I had just been to the hospital 3 days earlier and given pain meds in my IV and sent home with contractions every 3 minutes but no cervical change and I stayed that way till the delivery! All I could do was cry I called my best friend Carla bawling my eyes out telling her I physically could not continue with the pregnancy I was worn out!!!

Well at 7am the shift change nurses came in a discussed the high risk pregnancy that was stalling my induction, when nurse Valerie saw my name on the roster she said OH NO we HAVE to let Mrs C. come in and deliver her baby that poor girl has been through hell the last 2 and a half months. She was my nurse on more than one occasion! She gladly called me around 710am and told me to come have my baby!

I ran my pregnant butt to the car and told Brian LETS GO BEFORE THEY CHANGE THEIR MINDS AGAIN!!!

WE arrived at the hospital a little before 8am. The started my IV did all the neccessary paper work and hooked my up to the fetal monitor! She was quite surprised at my contraction pattern all on my own. She said wow good strong rhythem your in?? I replied, Yup been doing this for the last three weeks! She said OH GOD poor thing lets get this ball rolling! They started the induction meds at 9am!


My contractions were building and I was laboring pretty good all natural until around 12 when my Doctor came in. I was 5cm dialated and right before he walked in I felt a little gush I told him I wasnt sure what I felt but I felt something....either my water broke or I was leaking all the nice lub they used to check me with. Well he said I am going to break your water any way. Well he started to get a good postiion to insert the crochet hook looking thing when all of a SUDDEN WHOOOOOOOOOOOSH All I saw was a fountain of fliud like some one stuck their finger over a hose and the look on my doctors face was PRICELESS!!!! My water broke and the fountain I saw was so high I soaked him from the shoulder down!!! He was sitting with the hook still in the other hand and said....."That would be the Gush we always talk about! I started to laugh in embarasment and apologized! The worse part he was still in his office suit! The next time I saw him......He was in scrubs!

After my water broke the contractions got really bad!! I remember my labor with Shay ( The labor that tried to kill me) after my water broke at 5cm I dialated to 10 in 15 minutes and I remember that excruciating pain I had with her. She just came to fast to quick! I looked at my doctor and said this is when things went from bad to worse with Shay should I expect the same thing? He replied, this one is alot bigger and I think it may be painful just while pushing but not laboring its all the same. I looked at Brian and said "I think I want drugs this time" he replied "Thats your decision not mine" I looked at the doctor and said bring it on! He called the anestesiologist and in he came.

I had NEVER has an epidural before because I as deathly afraid of needles! So as they were prepareing I had a hundred in one questions....Is it gonna hurt? Is it gonna help?, etc.....

AS they prepared me for it they let Brian sit in front of me and hold me over I had my feet on his legs. He was rubbing my legs and reassuring me everything was going to be fine. My contractions were RIDICULOUSLY painful at this point and I was trying to maintain my composure all while being bent over like a pretzel around a beach ball! Brian kept repeating..
Its just a bee sting....
Its just a bee sting....

and then I snapped....

IF ITS JUST A BEE STING THEN YOU REMEMBER THAT WHEN YOU ARE GETTING IT IN YOUR BALLS!!!!! (we had predetermined he was getting the vasectomy)

I thought my nurse would die!!!! She said in her 20 years as a L & D nurse she had NEVER heard such a thing...leave it to me!

The epidural was in and I was beginning to feel better when Nic's heart rate dropped they came in put the O2 on my face and rolled me to my left side. It helped only briefly, but whil on that side I los all my cervix on my left side, so they rolled me to my right....Epidural started to wear off and the pain was getting really bad, My breathing inside my mask sounded like darth vader! As I layed there in pain I uttered not one sound....It hurt to think about what to say!

Around 215pm I looked at Brian and said you need to get the nurse something is happening! He ran out and she came in and looked at me and she knew.....it was TIME!

She checked and I was complete and ready to go for the gold! She yelled out to call the dotor got everything ready and told me to do what my body was telling me! So as she set up and waited for the doctor I was giving little oushes with Brian by my side! When the doctor came in he said are you ready!! Ithink the look I gave him he knew the answer....

After pushing for a few minutes I asked the doctor..."What is that?" he said "What" I said What is that I feel down there and I just reached and he replied "You are touching the top of your sons head" I started to cry alittle he asked if I wanted a mirror I told him yes! I knew Nic was my last and I wanted to see what it looked like on the other end of things!

The mirror was the best thing I ever did! As I pushed I could see him coming out!!! I was the first person to see his big head and little face!!! The mirror was angled just perfectly! I watching him entered into this world in all his glory and crying before he got all they way out!

It was the MOST beautiful thing I had ever seen!! They cleaned him up and put him in my arms and I cried!!

Everyday since then Nic has blessed us with a beautiful personality, killer smile, and amazing dimples! One day if you read this son know one thing if nothing else....You are the most amazing little man I have ever come to know, your generosity and your personality are enough to make my heart sing! Your will always be mamma's man and I love you to the moon and back!

Here is the video I made in honor of his 5th birthday!