All the kids were doing the rooms assigned and Brianna was doing the dishes in the kitchen (Which was her assigned chore for the week, the girls switch weeks) I was upstairs doing laundry and cleaning the hallway when Brianna comes upstairs and says "Why do I have to do the dishes?" I looked at her and said "What?" she looked me right in the face and said---"Why do we have to always do the dishes and chores. We never have time to play with our friends we are always cleaning the house!" I actually kirked my neck sideways and said "Excuse ME!!!!" ---
Monday and Tuesday you were on the soccer field.
Wednesday I had a migraine and was in bed and you had a friend HERE.
Thursday you were out playing with your American Girl dolls and man hunt with your friends
Friday...You were out swimming and you had a friend SPEND THE NIGHT
Saturday you were swimming and then went to a cookout and HAD A FRIEND SPEND THE NIGHT!
Today is Sunday we went to church, you went swimming ALL DAY and its now 8:30 PM and you are doing chores! Am I mistaken or did all these things happen little miss I NEVER GET TO PLAY WITH MY FRIENDS!!
She sat there quiet for a moment....I think she realized she just messed up BIG TIME!
I asked her again....Am I mistaken or did I just list all the things you did this week with FRIENDS!
She answered quietly...No, I did all those things.
I am not sure why this struck such a strong cord with me. Maybe, Brian and I had just discussed her mouth and how awful she had been treating everyone in the house. I was so MAD! All I could say was "You need to leave me alone right now because I may not be able to control my anger.....I cannot believe how SELFISH you just sounded! She walked away....
Later, after I calmed down I found her in the kitchen cleaning with tears in her eyes and I stopped her. The anger did show and the hurt as well when I went on to set this situation straight.
--EVERYONE in this house has chores and that's the general house rule. You have the dishes every OTHER week. You have to keep your room clean and you ALL share in the responsibility of the animals you INSIST we have and you will care for! If you would like to live a life where you don't have chores and I do it ALL....then guess what sister....NO soccer for you! NO more animals I will get rid of them ALL! Anything you will need from me will be NO MORE....I will have to be here cleaning the house and I wont have time for all of that! Your father and I break our backs to work everyday to provide the best life for you and to provide you all the opportunities in the world and all we ask of you is to help us around the house! You have minimal chores....and if you just picked up after yourself it would be less amount of work! I am SO hurt that you could even say that to me about the dishes....would you like me to add dusting, windexing, floors, vacuuming the steps, doing the laundry, creating the shopping list, making dinner, grocery shopping, coupon clipping...etc to your TO DO list because I can. I work 12 hours a day and I still manage to make sure you are at soccer practice and at the fields for your games regardless of the LACK of time I have to BREATH! As far as how you have been treating your siblings its OVER as of right NOW! We are done with it! You will not disrespect anyone in this house...you are NOT their mother.
For the next week you are grounded! You will stay in your room staring at the walls....the only book you will read is the Bible.....and while you are reading it I want you to find me 2 verses....
1. How God says you are to treat you parents.
2, How God expects you to treat others.
Then, you will write those verses 25 times EACH. Then I want a apology letter written to me and to your siblings apologizing for how you have been acting! You will be grounded for a week but at the end of the week if you have not found the said verses you will remain on restriction till its done.
So far she had found a verse in John about how to treat others. She hasn't found the parent verse yet. I do not believe that you need to spank your kids into submission or even smack them (although I can say I was so angry it was close.) I am hoping this works.....How do you handle your preteens? Did I handle this correctly? Does her punishment fit the crime?