Then and Now Thursday...Relationship Edition.

So a situation played out last night that had me laying in bed thinking....What happens to your sex life after marriage and kids?

Scene...Myself and B just finishing up a night of catching up on DVR not cuddled on the couch but sitting in opposite ends of the couch. We are in the kitchen just straightening before bed. I walk over and lock the side door and turn around and there is B he blocks me from getting by, he pulled me into him and gave me a AMAZING kiss! We stood there for maybe a minute just kissing each other and then I tapped his back (signaling the end) and as I pulled away he looked me in my eyes and said "I love you". Sweet yes I know but here I am all cynical and shit I walk away saying yeah yeah whatever you don't love me..(Why did I do this exactly?) He replied..with sarcasm......"Oh yeah that's right I am just here for all that hot steamy sex we are always having." I laughed it off and went upstairs replying "Ha in our younger days" I layed down to finally go to sleep. Thing is I didn't go to sleep I layed there thinking....Here is my edition of Then and Now....

THEN

12 years ago......

B and I could not be in the same room with out touching each other

We had sex EVERYDAY (no joke)

If we weren't together I missed him so bad that when he walked in the door I practically jumped him and he acted as if he felt the same way!

I could look at him across the room and feel so much LOVE I couldn't stand it!

Our eye contact no matter where we were felt magical.

B and I would surprise each other with dumb balloons or love notes hidden in places that the other was sure to find during the day.

Walking anywhere B held my hand.

When we went to bed together we were in tangled you couldn't tell where one began and the other ended.

If the opportunity presented itself we would have sex anywhere (car, kitchen table, bathroom sink, beach, many different friends houses usually during a party (sorry guys lol) etc.)

B would page me (sounds funny to say that) just to say 8 3 1 ( eight letters, three words, one meaning... I LOVE YOU!)


NOW

We sit on opposite ends of the couch to watch TV or Movies...maybe I will lay my head on his lap but it all depends.

We have sex maybe once a month. PATHETIC I KNOW!!!!!

When were are apart I still have three other people who require more attention than B that I don't even realize he isn't home. When he walks into the door I feel like I am barking orders...Can you please let the dogs out? Shay needs help with her homework, Can you please get your son off my leg for five minutes so I can finish cooking dinner!, You really need to go to the dump the damn squirrels got into again today!, Bri needs to be picked up from carpool in one hour can you do it? etc...

I look at B across the room and if he is sitting I feel angry...why I don't know...he works ALOT and EARLY....I shouldn't be but I am....Especially if I am frantically cleaning or still have the whole mommy, mommy, mommy CAN YOU PLEASE SAY DADDY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!!

Eye contact.....Whats that?

Love notes???? Un heard of.....The last time B did that he wrote in the bathroom mirror with my FAVORITE lipstick and it took me 20 minutes to clean it off....I was not accepting to this...Although I should have felt lucky and appreciated the gesture..instead i called him and I quote "OF ALL THE LIPSTICKS IN MY MAKEUP DRAWER YOU PICKED THE ONLY ONE I WEAR I appreciate what you did but next time reach to the back of the drawer not the front (I am such a bitch)

Hold my hand....impossible I already have 2 hands I am holding and B is usually holding Nic.

Go to bed together HA actually double HA! I am usually up late doing all the things I cant when the kids are awake. If we do manage to go to bed I do have a rule...At least our feet should touch...Most of the time we have a kid in the middle so no cuddling.....and if our feet aren't touching under the covers someone is pissed...


Sex....restricted to the bedroom....DOORS LOCKED......and we actually have to have an opportunity.....

B still does text me sometimes during the day just to say he loves me but they are very few and far between...



I guess this is just me wondering WHAT HAPPENED??? When did things change? I still love him but where is that passion we had for each other? What happened to the ripping off the clothes, cant get enough, more more more S and B? Does that all go away when kids get involved...if so...WHY? We have a beautiful family we should be overcome in that and bond over that and love each other deeper and more meaningful since we have 3 beautiful, amazing connections to each other? Maybe this could be a new blog idea...My trials and tribulation's of rekindling a lost connection....Knowing us it could make for some pretty funny reading....

Mommy is Santa real?

So this years Christmas season had been extra challenging with the whole is Santa real dilemma! Brianna is in fourth grade and has been told since Kindergarten by class room brats that Santa isn't real. PARENTS can you please control you need to tell kids earlier and earlier that Santa isn't real!!! I mean at least teach your kids Santa respect ex. If you chose to tell your child the truth can you please tell them that they should keep it to their selves and NOT ruin it for other children! Yes I already know that I am probably scarring my children for life by telling them they always have to tell me the truth when all year I lie to them...Easter bunny, Tooth fairy etc... But its all for the magic and excitement of childhood. My brother has opted to NOT do Santa in his house with my nieces instead of Santa bringing the gifts its Mommy and Daddy. He claims he was devastated to find out our parents lied to him. I think frankly that's a CROCK OF SHIT but who am I to say how he felt.

Brianna came home the other day with a really good and very difficult question.

Mommy if Santa brings all kids who are good presents on Christmas Eve then why do we donate toys to Toys for Tots for kids who don't get anything from Santa?

Well damn....How do I answer this?

I then sat her down and how I managed to pull this out of my ass I will NEVER know how!!

I said....

Brianna remember last year when we were following Santa Blog and the elves were on strike and they demanded higher pay and better health care! (the writer of this blog is genius)Well Santa did give in and this is how all this came about... Well you need to understand something when Santa started this whole bringing toys to kids stuff toys use to be Wooden trains and Rag baby dolls and the elves could make these things in the toy shop. Well since then kids and toys have evolved and now its Xbox, DSI, Nintendo's, Mechanical toys, etc... Well those things cant be made in the toy shop Santa has to go out and buy those things so along time ago Santa started talking with the parents and based off the children's Christmas list of wants Santa started charging a certain amount of the cost to the parents. Every year when you have you Christmas list ready mommy and daddy talk to Santa and come up with a payment plan of sorts and we have to give him a certain amount of money to cover the cost. Well some parents don't have the money to even give Santa so he started the Toys for Tots as a way to get families to donate toys to the organization and then he picks them up and takes them to all the kids who don't get anything. WHEW that was alot and some serious quick thinking on my part!

She said she understood and was no longer confused but then she said well so and so told me his parents told him Santa wasn't real! WTF people hurdle after hurdle maybe I should just tell them but that would ruin my Christmas I LOVE SANTA and the MAGIC of Christmas. I replied

He was probably REALLY naughty and when his parents met with Santa he probably told them they didn't have enough money to pay Santa to bring a naughty kid presents! I don't know what to say......

I just hope that I can at least get this year out of her but she will know that if I find out she ruins it for her younger siblings she will get NOTHING for Christmas LOL!!

TMI but I dont care its HYSTERICAL!

I meant to post this sooner but I have been shit tons of busy lately. Working the 2 jobs and entertaining daycare kids all day is EXHAUSTING but here goes....

Last week I had some shopping to do and I took Nic with me. He INSISTED on going to Chick-Fil-A although I LOVE their food it doesn't sit right in my tummy. We eat in the restaurant and then go hit up Target for some needed items. Of course the store is packed with all these damn Christmas shoppers and I was feeling anxious to begin with (not good for the belly either). then of course the fast food gurgle gut hits right in the middle of the store. You know the kind where you go Shit (no pun intended) I NEED to find a bathroom ASAP! yeah I hate those. Well I have this HUGE anxiety issue 1. #2 in public and 2. #2 in public with people in the bathroom. So I rush to the front of the store like a stupid Imodium commercial you know the song ....gotta go gotta go right now! yeah that was me! I am dragging Nic and we get to the bathroom SHIT its PACKED!! Now the gurgle gut gets worse with the stupid anxiety over the whole EVEN having to go to the bathroom dilemma. So I take Nic into the stall with me and I grab one of those paper toilet covers and think if I flush and go at the same time no one will be the wiser. SO I do this and score no one noticed. Here is the bathroom nice and quiet people just washing their hands and getting out and then it happens........Nic busts out laughing...and I quote...."MOMMY YOU ARE SO COOL YOU JUST FLUSHED THE POTTY AND POOPED AT THE SAME TIME" at the very moment I could have DIED of embarrassment and flushed my son all the SAME TIME.

God I love kids......They can embarrass you faster than anyone else.