Thursday, December 17, 2009

Then and Now Thursday...Relationship Edition.

So a situation played out last night that had me laying in bed thinking....What happens to your sex life after marriage and kids?

Scene...Myself and B just finishing up a night of catching up on DVR not cuddled on the couch but sitting in opposite ends of the couch. We are in the kitchen just straightening before bed. I walk over and lock the side door and turn around and there is B he blocks me from getting by, he pulled me into him and gave me a AMAZING kiss! We stood there for maybe a minute just kissing each other and then I tapped his back (signaling the end) and as I pulled away he looked me in my eyes and said "I love you". Sweet yes I know but here I am all cynical and shit I walk away saying yeah yeah whatever you don't love me..(Why did I do this exactly?) He replied..with sarcasm......"Oh yeah that's right I am just here for all that hot steamy sex we are always having." I laughed it off and went upstairs replying "Ha in our younger days" I layed down to finally go to sleep. Thing is I didn't go to sleep I layed there thinking....Here is my edition of Then and Now....


12 years ago......

B and I could not be in the same room with out touching each other

We had sex EVERYDAY (no joke)

If we weren't together I missed him so bad that when he walked in the door I practically jumped him and he acted as if he felt the same way!

I could look at him across the room and feel so much LOVE I couldn't stand it!

Our eye contact no matter where we were felt magical.

B and I would surprise each other with dumb balloons or love notes hidden in places that the other was sure to find during the day.

Walking anywhere B held my hand.

When we went to bed together we were in tangled you couldn't tell where one began and the other ended.

If the opportunity presented itself we would have sex anywhere (car, kitchen table, bathroom sink, beach, many different friends houses usually during a party (sorry guys lol) etc.)

B would page me (sounds funny to say that) just to say 8 3 1 ( eight letters, three words, one meaning... I LOVE YOU!)


We sit on opposite ends of the couch to watch TV or Movies...maybe I will lay my head on his lap but it all depends.

We have sex maybe once a month. PATHETIC I KNOW!!!!!

When were are apart I still have three other people who require more attention than B that I don't even realize he isn't home. When he walks into the door I feel like I am barking orders...Can you please let the dogs out? Shay needs help with her homework, Can you please get your son off my leg for five minutes so I can finish cooking dinner!, You really need to go to the dump the damn squirrels got into again today!, Bri needs to be picked up from carpool in one hour can you do it? etc...

I look at B across the room and if he is sitting I feel angry...why I don't know...he works ALOT and EARLY....I shouldn't be but I am....Especially if I am frantically cleaning or still have the whole mommy, mommy, mommy CAN YOU PLEASE SAY DADDY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!!

Eye contact.....Whats that?

Love notes???? Un heard of.....The last time B did that he wrote in the bathroom mirror with my FAVORITE lipstick and it took me 20 minutes to clean it off....I was not accepting to this...Although I should have felt lucky and appreciated the gesture..instead i called him and I quote "OF ALL THE LIPSTICKS IN MY MAKEUP DRAWER YOU PICKED THE ONLY ONE I WEAR I appreciate what you did but next time reach to the back of the drawer not the front (I am such a bitch)

Hold my hand....impossible I already have 2 hands I am holding and B is usually holding Nic.

Go to bed together HA actually double HA! I am usually up late doing all the things I cant when the kids are awake. If we do manage to go to bed I do have a rule...At least our feet should touch...Most of the time we have a kid in the middle so no cuddling.....and if our feet aren't touching under the covers someone is pissed...

Sex....restricted to the bedroom....DOORS LOCKED......and we actually have to have an opportunity.....

B still does text me sometimes during the day just to say he loves me but they are very few and far between...

I guess this is just me wondering WHAT HAPPENED??? When did things change? I still love him but where is that passion we had for each other? What happened to the ripping off the clothes, cant get enough, more more more S and B? Does that all go away when kids get involved...if so...WHY? We have a beautiful family we should be overcome in that and bond over that and love each other deeper and more meaningful since we have 3 beautiful, amazing connections to each other? Maybe this could be a new blog idea...My trials and tribulation's of rekindling a lost connection....Knowing us it could make for some pretty funny reading....


  1. i agree shannon! i think we all find ourselves wondering the exact same things about our relationships with our husbands. i know i do. and to be honest its nice to know that i am not the only one having sex only once a month.but its hard, you don't want the kids to walk in or one of them is in the bed with you or you are just too tired to think about it....all you want to do is sleep. i just recently started following your blog and i love how you write. thanks!

  2. Why Thank you and thanks for following! I love tht relief I feel after I read a comment or just putting it out there! and you are definatley not the only one! LOL..