Monday, September 27, 2010

I have a confession and a BIG CHALLENGE ahead of me...

SO I am a SMOKER.....There I said it....A nasty filthy SMOKER....Mostly a closet, yet social smoker. I have had friends say...I had no idea you are a smoker? I often answer "Well its usually at night after my kids are in bed or sometimes at the end of the day when my daycare kids leave,or Mostly if I am out drinking! What started as a casual, social bad habit has turned into a full fledged ADDICTION! Its weird I can go four or five days and not smoke then all of a sudden I need one...But then I will smoke a WHOLE pack in a day! Its a very confusing crazy addiction. Most smoker friends say that if I can go even a day I can quit..its also my vice on how I deal with stress. I get angry, frustrated, sad, happy, honestly its become apart of my phone conversations how do I stop???? Well now I am being faced with a bet....

Last June I formed a Relay for Life American Cancer Society Team in honor of my sister who was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer. As I walked around and celebrated, remembered, and honored those who won the battle against cancer, those who lost and the current warriors and it was a very humbling day! I decided in that moment that this coming year...June 2011 I was gonna ROCK the event! Since June 2010 I have been planning and brainstorming all kinds of ideas..I already have my tent set up planned and all the activities and supplies I need have been written down and lists are made and a BIG fundraiser is in the works! I am also excited the Brian can join this year and not have to work! Brian has been riding this ride with since June and laughs at my crazy ideas and gives my ideas on how to raise lots and lots of money towards our team but MORE IMPORTANTLY to raise money towards Relay for Life. Well he decided to other night he was going to do his OWN fundraiser. We were 266 days away from Relay 2011 and he hit me with......How about I will donate 1.00 a DAY for everyday that you don't smoke! It has to be continuous and if you start...ITS DONE! If you last 2 day its 2 bucks you last 10 is 10 dollars but if you make it to relay its 266 dollars for your team! Well I had to finish my pack I had just bought so I did just that...I finished it on day 265!

Its been 2 days since I have smoked and I am consuming MASSIVE amounts of chocolate!! Then this morning Brian sweetened to the pot and said he would DOUBLE the amount if I stay not smoking... That is $530.00!!!! I need to do this....I don't want cancer........But I just may become a huge FAT COW with a bad attitude whom may hurt my husband when my FULL FLEDGED Nicotine withdraw kicks in......Does anyone have any ideas NOT using gum or patches to help cure my itch of smoking...I hate to be challenged..Oh and I HATE to Lose!

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