Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Bullying...you just never know when it will hit your home!

So we see everyday on the news about how a child has killed themself or shot up a school or even been caught planning vicious attacks against bullies. I always think to my self how in the world can someone stand back and watch that happen. How are the parents gonna live with themselves knowing their child caused another child to take their own life? and then I thank god its never happened to my child....now I pray for his guidance on how to actually deal with it because.....it came to my house!

Brianna has been coming home over the last few weeks with some problems at school and to be honest it was nothing more than the typical 3 is a crowd girl relationships. But who knew that it could escalte!

Story #1 (The names have been changed for privacy issues besides my daughters of course)

Brianna came home from school and told me that her and Tootsie were no longer friends. When I asked her why she responded with "I tried to tell her how I felt and she told me I was lying and I am not sure how I was lying when it was how I felt!" I told her well how did you feel? She said Tootsie and Tulip arent hanging out with me anymore they only hang out together. I got mad and when they asked me what was wrong Tootsie said "Whatever your lyng" How was I lying if it was how I felt? I said "Well if she didnt want to listen to you and you dont want to be friends then dont be friends. (I also knew that it was a "this week" lack of friendship. The next day Tootsie told Brianna she wanted to be friends and Brianna responded with " I DONT WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU!" Ahhhhhhh my daughter the snot head...I told her she wasnt being nice and if she was trying to apologize then at that moment Brianna was in the wrong.

Story #2

Tulip doesnt like another girl at school who is also her family member. Brianna was actually really good friends with the family member until this year (I think is because if Tulip which I corrected!!!) Well the family memeber we will call Daisy asked Brianna to play with her at recess. Brianna was worried how Tulip was gonna take this news so she was being secretive about it. When Tulip saw Brianna with Daisy she approached her and said "Wow Bri what a way to be a great friend!" Then at some point in the day Tootsie started talking bad to Brianna and Brianna told her it was none of her buisness that it was between her and Tulip. Tootsie told her that it was her buisness because Tulip was her Best Friend!

That evening Brianna came home and told me what happened and I told her the Tulip wasnt a true friend if she was asking her to choose who she wanted to be friends with and that a true good friend wouldn't ask her to.

Saturday evening Tulip called here asking for Brianna. Thankfully Brianna wasnt here.

Story #3 The issue....

I picked Brianna up from school yesterday and she informed me that she had to go to the councelor. I asked her why and she said someone wrote bad stuff about her on the wall in the bathroom. I asked her what was written she repied: Brianna last name is a bitch, Brianna and Daisy are 2 faced bitches, Brianna and Daisy are Lesbians. Then right under the was Tootsie is a Bitch. I asked her how she found out and she told me that all the kids in her class were going to the bathroom and coming back and whispering and looking at her then she heard them say her name and written so she asked if she could go to the bathroom. She discovered it! Can you imagine how my 5th grader felt at that very moment. Put yourself in her shoes...My heart is breaking!!

After hearing this I asked her who she thought did it. She said I think Tootsie did it. I told her I didnt think Tootsie had done it. My mommy intution SCREAMED Tulip because of the Daisy references. She said well Tootsie and I had to sit with the councelor and she asked me if I had written on the wall Tootsie is a bitch and I told her NO My mother raised me better than that! (This made my heart smile a little it was still breaking but slighly smiling) So I called Tootsies mom and told her what happened and she was just as upset as I was. I told her that I didnt for one second think it was tootsie who had written but I had a feeling I knew and asked of she could question tootsie because I also knew someone knew who did it and I knew tootsie would if Tulip had done it. Next thing i know Tootsies mom was calling me back and asked if she could come over she had something she wanted Brianna to hear for herself!

Tootsie and her mom arrived and we sat the girls down at the table and we mediated and let them talk. Tootsie told Brianna the she was at Tulips house on saturday night and Tulip was writing on a piece of paper about how she was going to write on the wall in the bathroom at school. She even went to the extreme of saying she would make it look like someone elses handwritting. She showed it to her sister who said she couldnt tell what girl wrote what! THIS SHIT WAS PLANNED!!!! THIS MAKES ME SICK! Well Tootsies mom reamed her out for not telling what Tulip was doing but also told her she understood why whick was for fear of retaliation and Tulip was her friend. We asked her like what kind of retaliation was she talking about her name on the wall?? She said no like what she did to Brianna and her bruise! at this point I looked at Brianna and said WHAT BRUISE!!! She lifted her arm and she had a bruise on her forearm!!! NOW THIS SHIT IS PHYSICAL!!! I looked at Brianna and said "WHAT HAPPENED!!!" Tootsie said that Tulip shoved her meaning Tootsie into Brianna and Brianna hit her arm! Now I am beyond pissed! My child was slandered and physically harmed! I have a almost straight A (one B in music because she is terrible at the recorder) and I am sending her to school for what...be harmed!!!

Well Tootsies mom met me at the school today and we met with the principal and we will have to wait and see how it plays out but the principal said she would call me and it would ne handled....Here is how I think it should be handled...0 Tolereance for bullying= supension from school. If I shoved my daughter and caused her a bruise I would go to jail.....this little girl needs a reality check!

But on a good night I spent some time cuddling with my girl last night filling her in on my bullying issues when I was in school and I told her how I felt and how she could come to me with ANYTHING!! Then told her you know how you feel better when your sad.....RETAIL THERAPY! Im taking my baby out for some shopping and ice cream this weekend!

1 comment:

  1. It is a good thing that you were able to talk with at least one of the other girls' parents. The fact that she responded in such a way shows that she is equally concerned about the situation.

    Bullying is never a good thing and unfortunately in this day and age it cannot be treated as it has been in the past.

    I hope the principal handles this in an appropriate manner and that the issue is resolved without further violence between the girls.