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Septembers One month of dinners.

With the start of September comes school and soccer. I have been working on getting my family on a strict budget and planning more dinners with the off chance that we never have to eat fast food again. Not to mention, fast food is KILLING our checking account. So, I decided to put all my internet surfing to use and my addiction to Pinterest to good use. I planned an entire month of dinners complete with the shopping list. So here is how it went down.

I got the great idea to plan a month ahead from Fellow blogger Sarah She has a specific way she does it so I tweaked it. Saturdays for us are spent on the soccer field and B and I are on a kickball team so we are gone all day. Sundays will be my Pinterest/Internet blog surfer recipe find days. We will try a new recipe each and every Sunday. So for this month I picked 10 meals.

1-Chicken Alfredo (Learned years ago from a friend)
2 Creamy Chicken Tacos 
3-Balsamic Chicken
4-Chicken Pot Pie ( I did 2 bags one for the crock pot and another for the veggies to be added the last 45                   minutes) 
5-Homemade French Bread Pizza
6-Italian Chicken, Red potatoes, green beans and rice.
7-Healthy BBQ Chicken **Mommababylove**
8-Goulash **Also from momma and baby love
9-Ranch Pork chops, Corn and Mashed Potatoes   *Found via Pinterest to Living laughing and Lovingblog. 
10-Turkey and Cheese Sliders

If its underlined please click the link it will take you to the recipes.

My Sunday picks were
1- 2 Bean Southwestern chicken (OMG it was SO GOOD)
2 Hawaiian Crock Pot Chicken (Pinterest)
3 Cream Cheese Chicken (Pinterest)
4-Linguine Lemon Shrimp (Pinterest)
5-Bread Bowl Chili (Not a new recipe but my hubby's favorite for football)

Saturdays are free days....Most likely sandwich/sub snack days.

WEEK ONE was recipes 1-5
WEEK TWO was recipes 6-10
WEEK THREE was recipes 1-5 again
WEEK FOUR was recipes 6-10 again. Now you mix them up but keep the recipes the same...i just kept it the same....it was easier.

Now by doing this you are just doubling the shopping list so you have 2 nights of dinners worth.

I then placed the recipes on my white board

Then I made my shopping list....

MEATS
16 pork chops
25-30 Chicken Breasts
1 pound Shrimp
2-3 lbs of Stew Beef

PRODUCE

4 bags baby carrots
3-Sweet Potatoes
4-Large Green Peppers
2-large Red Peppers
2-Zuchinni
4-Onions
3-heads of Garlic
4-large beets
Corn on the cob
Green Beans
Red Potatoes
4 baking Potatoes
Chives

Canned Goods
4 jars Bertolli Alfredo Sauce
2 cans Rotel
3 cans Pinto beans
1 can Black Beans
2 cans cream of Celery
2 cans cream of Broccoli
4 can cream of Chicken
1 can Diced Tomaotes in juice
2 cans Peas
4 Tomato Paste
2 cans tomato sauce

Chip isle
2 jars Salsa
2 bags of Tostitoe chips (Dips)

Dairy/Refrigerator
3-Cream Cheese
2-Mozzarella Cheese
Mascarpone Cheese
Milk
Yogurt
Bagels
2-Biscuits

Seasonings
Brown Sugar
Garlic Powder
Minced Onion
Sesame Seeds
Wheat Flour

Condiments
Dijon Mustard
2-Ranch Seasonings
Bag of Rice
Balsamic Vinegar
Lipton Onion Soup Mix
2-Italian dressing
2-Pizza Sauce
Macaroni noodles
Angel hair pasta

Deli
Turkey
Ham
Swiss
Provolone
pepperoni


***NOTE GROCERY LIST WAS MADE BY RECIPES AND I REMOVED ITEMS I HAD IN MY HOUSE ALREADY****

I also did not place all the fruits that I bought on the list because its always the same
Bananas
Apples
Strawberries
Blue berries
Black berries


Here is what I spent...

Farmers Market-35.00 (Almost all of my produce)
Target-149.00 Groceries
BJ's 50.00 (Paper towels, dish washer detergent and some food)
Giant- 103.00 for remainder and chicken is on sale 1.99lb

GRAND TOTAL- 337.00!!!! Because I pack fresh fruit and veggie lunches I cannot buy all my lunch material...I have 63.00 left in the budget for fruits/veggies and milk. I think I can do it!!!!!

After I returned home I spent the rest of the day cutting, sorting and placing all the crock pot meals in Ziplock bags marking the outside with the dinner date, what was in the bag, and cooking directions...

I will admit...it was TIME CONSUMING. But, I spent a day of my life shopping and preparing so i can have evening and time with my children when they get home from school...no more stressing about what to make for dinner. Its just that simple! :)

If you are following this blog for the first time please "Like" my Facebook page for more ideas and recipes.
The Crush Family


Thanks for reading and let me know how this works for you! :)


Supermomof3!

Summer Vacation 2012!

Here is a little movie I put together to sum up our vacation. I have to admit...making the purchase for a camper was the BEST decision we have ever made. Its doing wonders for our family and our time we can spend together..I hope you enjoy.

Vlog....First cycle TTC

As I said in my last blog I was thinking of Vloging......This will be a test! Here is video 1.

Preteens: When did they become ungrateful?

So, Last week was crazy. We had all 3 kids trying out for Rec Plus soccer teams. I wasn't feeling my best, and we just weren't home.  The kids really slacked off on chores and the house was AWFUL. So on Sunday after church I told the kids they could swim but that evening everyone would get 2 rooms to clean and we were gonna get ready for the week with a clean house. 

All the kids were doing the rooms assigned and Brianna was doing the dishes in the kitchen (Which was her assigned chore for the week, the girls switch weeks) I was upstairs doing laundry and cleaning the hallway when Brianna comes upstairs and says "Why do I have to do the dishes?" I looked at her and said "What?" she looked me right in the face and said---"Why do we have to always do the dishes and chores. We never have time to play with our friends we are always cleaning the house!" I actually kirked my neck sideways and said "Excuse ME!!!!"  ---

Monday and Tuesday you were on the soccer field.

Wednesday I had a migraine and was in bed and you had a friend HERE.

Thursday you were out playing with your American Girl dolls and man hunt with your friends

Friday...You were out swimming and you had a friend SPEND THE NIGHT

Saturday you were swimming and then went to a cookout and HAD A FRIEND SPEND THE NIGHT! 

Today is Sunday we went to church, you went swimming ALL DAY and its now 8:30 PM and you are doing chores!  Am I mistaken or did all these things happen little miss I NEVER GET TO PLAY WITH MY FRIENDS!! 

She sat there quiet for a moment....I think she realized she just messed up BIG TIME!

I asked her again....Am I mistaken or did I just list all the things you did this week with FRIENDS!

She answered quietly...No, I did all those things. 

I am not sure why this struck such a strong cord with me. Maybe, Brian and I had just discussed her mouth and how awful she had been treating everyone in the house. I was so MAD! All I could say was "You need to leave me alone right now because I may not be able to control my anger.....I cannot believe how SELFISH you just sounded! She walked away....

Later, after I calmed down I found her in the kitchen cleaning with tears in her eyes and I stopped her. The anger did show and the hurt as well when I went on to set this situation straight. 

--EVERYONE in this house has chores and that's the general house rule. You have the dishes every OTHER week. You have to keep your room clean and you ALL share in the responsibility of the animals you INSIST we have and you will care for! If you would like to live a life where you don't have chores and I do it ALL....then guess what sister....NO soccer for you! NO more animals I will get rid of them ALL! Anything you will need from me will be NO MORE....I will have to be here cleaning the house and I wont have time for all of that! Your father and I break our backs to work everyday to provide the best life for you and to provide you all the opportunities in the world and all we ask of you is to help us around the house!  You have minimal chores....and if you just picked up after yourself it would be less amount of work! I am SO hurt that you could even say that to me about the dishes....would you like me to add dusting, windexing, floors, vacuuming the steps, doing the laundry, creating the shopping list, making dinner, grocery shopping, coupon clipping...etc to your TO DO list because I can. I work 12 hours a day and I still manage to make sure you are at soccer practice and at the fields for your games regardless of the LACK of time I have to BREATH! As far as how you have been treating your siblings its OVER as of right NOW! We are done with it! You will not disrespect anyone in this house...you are NOT their mother. 

PUNISHMENT

For the next week you are grounded! You will stay in your room staring at the walls....the only book you will  read is the Bible.....and while you are reading it I want you to find me 2 verses....

1. How God says you are to treat you parents.

2, How God expects you to treat others.

Then, you will write those verses 25 times EACH. Then I want a apology letter written to me and to your siblings apologizing for how you have been acting! You will be grounded for a week but at the end of the week if you have not found the said verses you will remain on restriction till its done. 

So far she had found a verse in John about how to treat others. She hasn't found the parent verse yet. I do not believe that you need to spank your kids into submission or even smack them (although I can say I was so angry it was close.) I am hoping this works.....How do you handle your preteens? Did I handle this correctly? Does her punishment fit the crime? 

Just to catch everyone up. The surgery trip!

Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.

On May 24th B and I boarded a plane at BWI and flew 3 and half hours to Dallas where we waited 2 and half hours to catch a hour flight to Tulsa! We were flying to an event that would change our lives. Finally, it was our day for the vasectomy reversal!  It was pushing 10 o'clock at night so we got our rental car and headed for the Tulsa hotel to sleep. We woke early Friday morning and started our hour drive to Muskogee, OK.

About 10 miles from the hotel we were stuck in gridlock traffic due to an accident and apparently in Oklahoma they don't like you turning around because every intersection and side road was BLOCKED. We sat for an hour not moving. I have to say I panicked! We were a few hours from surgery and I was worried we were not going to make it! Once traffic started moving I felt better and a short time later we checked into the hotel. We were staying at the Laquinta Hotel a short drive from Dr. Wilson's office. He recommends them I am assuming for their hospitality. When we checked in the desk manager saw we were staying there with the Dr. Wilson rate and immediately started looking for an "easy" room. She placed us in a SUITE right next to the elevator and then handed me a bag full of hotel samples....like Dove body wash, Herbal Essence shampoo, Crest toothpaste...just loads of it. Once we were in the room we realized it was HUGE. Microwave, refrigerator, big desk, Nice clean room. Bathroom had a shower seat and a big shower. I am guessing Dr. Wilson and them have a deal going on LOL. B went to prep for surgery and shower and I was unpacking all our "supplies." The phone rings??? I was the desk manager to make sure we had EVERYTHING we needed and if we were satisfied with the room. I have never had any hotel I have stayed in do that!

Finally 2:30pm rolls around and its time to leave. Brian now has his moment of second guessing his decision. He even joked and said he wanted to look into Donor Sperm LOL. We laughed and snuggled for a minute and  then we left. Once we arrived at Dr. Wilson's office I immediately realized this was where we were meant to go. His office was beautiful and we walked into him playing Christian music through the speakers throughout the whole building. That was very comforting. We waited for a while as Dr W. was prepping the room returning phone calls and answering emails. In order to offer such low rates he has NO office staff it is just him. He then came to get us and took us to another room with a recliner, couch and loveseat. He gave us a file to sign our pre-op paperwork and then sat down and did his pre-op talk. He went over the risks and the surgery and then he asked if he could pray with us. His prayer was BEAUTIFUL. He asked God for the wisdom to do the surgery, the eyes to see to correct, the hands to heal and asked God to allow him to be the instrument in the Lords greater plan. Ultimatly the Lord is the great physician he was just his instrument.
               I almost cried at this moment!
As Dr. W. went to set the room up and prep B for surgery I left and went to the pharmacy to fill B's prescription. I came back and sat in the room and waited.......About 10 minutes later Dr. W. came and got me and told me I could come back and be with B. I walked in and Dr. W was at a microscope and Brian was on the table. I couldn't see anything just that his "area" had something going on.....I just sat with my back to his groin right beside B's head.  I would rub his head and held his hand and he fell asleep and was in and out of sleep for the remainder of the surgery. We didn't speak, I just read my book and touched him. It was comforting to share those moments with him.

After about 2 hours Dr. W. informed us he was finishing up and that everything looked GREAT! He didn't see any reason that Brian and I couldn't conceive. He found heads and partial tails on the right side and clear fluid on the left.  B and I teared up. When B starts getting emotional I cant help but be emotional as well. B thanked Dr. W for everything and Dr. W. stopped him and said to not give him thanks but give the Lord all the thanks for he was the reason he does what he does. It was all very emotional.

We arrived back at the hotel and B laid in bed. He stayed there the remainder of the the trip. I spoiled him with Buffalo Wild Wings, Junk food galore, and all my attention!! We rested all day Saturday and then left on Sunday to fly home. It was a long day we finally arrived home around midnight Sunday night and we were so happy to see our babies! B stayed out of work for a week to rest I only took Monday (Memorial Day) off. B had lots of swelling, bruising and discomfort but after a week he was good to go.

We are now in the final healing stages and I have already been prepping my body for conception. Taking vitamins, Folic Acid, Had blood work done to make sure all my levels were good and B has been doing his coconut juice Ginger and Turmeric for inflammation. Taking his multivitamin and eating healthy.

Hoping to conceive in the next 3 months! Wish us luck and baby dust! Here are some picture from our trip.

Making Homemade Laundry Detergent.

Hello World!

Sorry this has taken me so long, but I have not had a moment to sit and type! First, let me tell you how much I LOVE this laundry detergent! It smells so good and I have noticed a change in my clothes. I think when we use the same stuff over and over again our clothes just become use to it. Maybe its my imagination but they just seem cleaner.

First you will need to gather your supplies.

The Fels-Naptha soap bar I bought at Walmart for .97c
The Borax-Walmart $2.97
Arm and Hammer Washing Soda-$2.98


Less than 7 dollars and I am about to make 5 GALLONS of laundry detergent.


First, Grate the soap bar using a cheese grater.

Second add 4 cups of HOT water to a pot and add soap. Cook on Med/low heat STIR CONSTANTLY till soap is dissolved I think it took us about 10 minutes or so! Let me tell you this....My hubby was in the shower and when he got out he yelled down to me "What is that smell?" I yelled back up..."The soap is cooking"  He was came down stairs and said...."OH MY GOD THAT SMELLS GOOD" So just know.....it will have your house smelling AMAZING! 

Fill your 5 gallon bucket up with HOT water from the tap.  Add 1 cup of Arm and Hammer Washing Soda and 1/2 cup of Borax and stir. 

 Add Soap to bucket and Stir some more to blend all the soaps together.  Continue to add water, fill to top and Stir. 

I used my broom handle but for the future I used a paint stirrer that goes on the end of drill to make sure I am stirring evenly. Trial and Error. 

After it is stirred evenly place lid on and allow to sit overnight. 

When you wake up there will be a SUPER thick layer of gel on the top it separates. You will need to stir again this is when I used my arm as the broom handle did not work well enough to ensure that we were mixing evenly. This is another reason we will be using the paint mixer on the drill. You will use a funnel and container to place your detergent and remember to SHAKE WELL before every use and it does separate when it sits. I unfortunately do not have any pictures as we rushed off to the soccer field early the next morning. 

TRIAL AND ERROR!! (What I learned) 

1. BE PREPARED. I did not have enough jugs to place the detergent in.....I LOVE the simply orange juice containers they work PERFECT! So, drink plenty of orange juice and save the containers prior to making the laundry soap. use the handle jugs for detergent and the none handle jugs for homemade fabric softener.(Coming soon) 

2. It really only took about 20 minutes to make. 

3. This will save us A LOT of money. I do atleast 3-4 loads a DAY!

Thanks for reading and I promise to keep it up. I may switch to Vloging I think its easier and less time consuming then typing! Have a Blessed day! 

Our emotional journey.....to conceiving a true miracle! Part 1

Back in December I posted a blog about My horrible heart ache! Please read that to understand this.  I ended it with the story of my lady friends at church telling me of a doctor who could perform the reversal through our insurance. 

We contacted the surgeon and scheduled a consultation for April 9, 2012  Four weeks was a long time with so many emotions and thoughts going through our minds.  We prayed for God to lead our path on this journey and that we would trust His Will for us as we go down it.  The day came for the appointment and we were both nervous and excited.  His appointment went well and we felt very encouraged by the surgeon.  Then, the hard news came.  This surgery was going to cost over $10k when it was all said and done.  My heart sank and I just wanted to run away without saying another word (that's my typical response when I'm upset).  We stayed in the office and declined scheduling the surgery until we had more time to discuss it.  We left the office, left Annapolis and made the hour trip home (almost in silence I was sobbing!). Brian held his emotions in very well.  All I could do was cry.  I remember telling him we would find a way and that I don't give up this easily.  Brian said he felt like maybe this wasn't the Dr the Lord wanted us to use. 

We arrived at home with anxious children wondering if we have good news or bad news. I looked at Brian and he knew he had to handle this I just emotionally couldn't handle it. I took a long hot bath and just closed off the world. I know I have 3 kids, but the number of children you have doesn't matter when you want more. Look at the Duggers the have 19! Although, I do not want to be a Dugger I do want one more baby. I want to have a baby where our finances aren't stretched. I want to have a baby we raise only knowing our Lord and church, I want a baby that I will breastfeed come hell or high water. I want a true miracle from God! I had 2 people say that when God closes a door he opens a window....we are looking for that window.

Brian and I didn't talk much on Monday as we were both dealing with the news. He had been texting me for weeks possible baby names and I was researching cloth diapers, midwives (I want a home birth) and everything was in its place....except a baby on my womb. We were mourning a loss of a figment of our imagination. But, to us it felt so very real...

Tuesday night while I was at college I had a break in between classes and I called Brian just to see touch base and he began to ask me about this other Dr I had found. 

One night while I was researching I said a prayer and typed in "cheap vasectomy reversal".  IT WORKED!  I actually found sites claiming this.  Now the skepticism sets in, but I check them out anyway.  The cheapest one I found was close to the top.  I clicked on it and couldn't believe my eyes!  $1700.00!!!!!  Okay, where is the gimmick? I didn't want a back alley Dr who gives my husband a shot of whiskey and a stick to bite on. I really would like for his man parts to work when its done!  As I read on I found his testimony of how he is performing this so cheap as a Service to God because of his own personal conviction from having a Vasectomy himself; and his story of leaving a private group to be on his own to make it affordable for others. God had lead me here for a reason.  I then began looking for all of the information and credentials I could find.  I found nothing negative and only more confirmation of his ability.  The real deciding factor in his ability was found in an online community with other women (and their husbands) going through this journey. I read an entire thread of hopeful and promising stories from his former patients as well as many pregnancies. I am not sure I could have survived these last horrific months without these amazing women who don't tell me I have 3 kids be happy....but have as many as you can and we will clap and applaud you all the way! They would wipe my tears if they could or hold my OPK stick if they could...they are non judgmental women dealing with infertility issues that were handed to them in a different circumstance other than natural infertility. I often feel like if Brian left me and married someone else and had this surgery done, no one would say to him...but you have 3 just be happy with that.  Its just not the simple. The ache we have for another child is the same as anyone who wants a child. 

Dr Wilson is so highly sought after he has a wait list and a online schedule you do yourself. It helps keep his cost down to have very little overhead.  Brian asked me to place us on the wait list and we would take what we could get which would probably not be until August/September. Oh and I forgot to mention this Dr is in Oklahoma! I told him I absolutely would and I started to have that small glimmer of hope again.  Well Wednesday morning I awoke and I was about to get in the shower to start my day when I turned on the shower I heard the Lord say.."Check the Schedule" I had just checked the schedule before bed on Tuesday and showed Brian how Dr Wilson was full through July 8th and the 9th would be posting the next day as his calendar only shows 90 days out. But i grabbed my phone because I heard it again..."Check the schedule" So, while I waited for the water to warm up I opened up the internet on my phone and begain clicking through the schedule to see maybe if the 9th of July was open. I didn't make it that far! I clicked on may and there right in front of me was a open window....literally! the 25th was the prettiest white I had ever seen! I immediately called Brian and told him the date and he told me to book it! I was so excited I could stop shaking!!  

I run downstairs to our computer and go to the schedule praying the whole time the women I know from the forum who stalk it hadn't scooped it up in the 10 minutes it took to call Brian and then run downstairs. I click on the may 25th and it says appt available at 3....I accept and pay the $500/deposit and then I check my email....no confirmation. I check the schedule and it still shows available. I call a friend and she creates a account to check the schedule and she even sees its available. Now I am panicking. Was this a fluke?? Are there 500 women thinking they have the same date and time?? What am I going to do? I guess we can just get on the wait list but this was a huge disappointment.  Oh well, we can wait! Then I decide to check my email and i had a message telling me that my deposit was accepted but they needed to me log back in a confirm my time! WE ARE STILL IN THE GAME PEOPLE! I logged back in and I clicked the schedule picked the date and completed the process and I recieved the sweetest email....YOUR APPOINTMENT WITH DR WILSON IS SCHEDULED FOR MAY 25th AT 3:00PM!!!!!

So, for now I will start charting my ovulation and keep track of my cycle and then my AMAZING husband I will be flying out to Oklahoma for his surgery on that day! We are waiting on our consultation phone call and I am busy in my forum and praying that in the end of this the Lord sees the timing to be correct and Brian and I will be holding yet again our new precious baby! Fingers crosses and tossing baby dust! :) 

Day 1 of the Daily Schedules.

Well today was the first day of the Daily Schedules for the kids to help make mornings smoother. I am happy to report there was no yelling or screaming, no fighting or crying and the after bus sweep of the house turned out to be successful!

Brianna's room (Not really surprised she does this without being reminded) 

Shailyn's room (Not perfect but done) 

Nic's Room. (Yes he is on a air mattress his room is under construction will post pictures when its done cause its gonna be SUPER cool!) 

Now for the lunches Thanks to Pinterest I have found better compact healthy lunch ideas in my BPA free containers. This has made my morning so much easier. Although I dont usually pack the kids lunches for them I wanted to try out this idea. This lunch is for Shay so no veggies....I forgot carrots at the store! Bad mommy! :) The only thing missing was her bottle of water with her no sugar sweetener and her Gogurt. Those items were placed in her lunch bag.

Nothing fell out upside down either! Love this! No more Giant lunch bags overtaking my fridge!

Daily Schedules.

Micromanage :) I know this sounds good in theory but we will see what happens. I figure if the kids see the schedule on the fridge they will know what they are suppose to be doing. Later, I should have the chore schedules done although they will rotate chores like we do now. Each Sunday I will post the new weekly chore schedule, that way all the chores are spread equally among the kids. Here is what the schedules look like.

They all have different shower times listed as well....that way they have a time limit (Shay will stay in till the hot water is gone) and they know who gets in when! 

That whole Pursuit of Sanity thing.

Its time for a restructure. I am so over stretched because of my quick to say YES response to every question that is thrown at me. I know, I know you are all probably saying "You are SuperMom right?"  Well, this Supermom found her cryptonight and it's time. There just isn't enough time to do all that I need to do in one day. Well honestly its not enough energy. So, it is time for a restructure. I am pulling my super powers out and throwing them into my household. What is my super power you ask. I will create more time in the day! I know, how is it I can create more time? Well the answer is simple time management, organization and HELP. Over the course of the next month or so watch and learn as I create more time for my family. I will be posting spaces, organizational ideas, and planning! Although starting this will take some of that time I don't really have but to be honest....This momma is on the edge of a nervous breakdown SO its time for that change! I am on that quest for the pursuit of sanity right?? :)

Sometimes the ache is just to great.

For the last 3 years I have been battling the hole in my heart that I feel is growing to epic proportions. You know the book the never ending story and the nothingness that was over taking the land? Well my nothingness actually has a name its called a baby. Seven years ago directly after the birth of our son Nicholas Brian underwent a vasectomy to ensure that we would not have anymore children. At that time it was the right decision for us to make. I had been diagnosed with a heart condition that makes me high risk for blood clots so birth control on my end was dangerous. Trying the "protection" method was something I really wasn't into to be honest. We really didn't have the money to be spending on those so how could we afford another baby, that left us with one choice...Permanent Sterilization. Looking back now that we are older (at the time I was 25 and Brian was 24) I realize it was the biggest mistake we could ever make but was still the right decision at the time. Does that even make sense?

We are raising our children that in life you make choices so think them through before you make them because the consequence of the action is one you will live with forever. Oh how I am eating my words now. I never realized that ache in my heart for another child would have grown as great as it has. Our youngest is 7 and the oldest almost 12 but the ache is growing more and more each day. Seeing the "Were Pregnant" posts on Facebook or the fresh from the delivery room pictures of those sweet warm little buddies of love breaks me.  I at one point realizing the only way we could get pregnant was through IVF I considered donating my eggs to help with the cost of IVF. I was quickly told by a friend I was selfish and that me having 3 children of my own I should be happy because of the 1000's of women out there who want just one but our childless. I was so unbelievably hurt by that comment how is wanting a child selfish? How is enjoying the tiny toes, the milestone moments, watching a baby take the first steps, then watching them step onto a bus for school selfish?  One woman's want for a child is no greater than another regardless of how many they have or don't have.

Brian and I considered adoption but to be honest the process is long and grueling and in the US they always want the children placed with the birth parents and finding birth parents willing to just let the baby go is alot harder considering those 1000's of women who are childless and to be honest with a lottery system like that my selfishness is none existent. I ccouldn't stand in a room with 1000's of women and have that needle in a haystack birth mother pick me over them to adoptive their baby I would want them to have the child not me. International adoption is to risky and expensive. You can dish out thousands of dollars and have them ask for more and you not receive the child. I know of a friend who went  into another country to adopt and 3 months later was still there waiting on conflicts to be resolved but refused to leave without her child. Unfortunately I don't have that flexibility. In talking with another friend who had a friend that went to Russia and tried to adopt and after spending thousands of dollars on the process they went for the final stay to complete the adoption process and when they went to the court to be appointed the court asked for 10,000 more dollars which they didn't have and they left the country childless...I cant go through that.

Last October while at church talking with some of the ladies who were pregnant I told then how bad I wanted another baby. When I explained the vasectomy and how we didn't have the money to have it reversed one of the ladies spoke up and said a friend of hers knew of a Dr who knew how to get vasectomy reversals done through insurance. I was shocked to hear this news and asked for her to get me some information on this Dr. Well during a girls night out with a few of the same ladies she was able to get me the Dr's name and I called and scheduled an appointment immediately I was relieved and felt excited about this for the first time in a long time all by simply asking...How much is your consultation fee? They responded with 100.00. All the other Dr's I called was 500.00-750.00 just for a consultation! I scheduled the appointment and that will be sometime in January. Here is the kick to the gut I got last night. Brian has been having alot of issues with his shoulder and been in excruciating pain. He finally goes to the Dr they schedule all this stuff and put him on anti inflammatory drugs and then when it all failed to stop his pain the Dr orders him a MRI. Well Brian received a phone call last night that our insurance is denying him the right to a MRI because it doesn't seem necessary?? The man had been in constant pain but a non doctor in a office doesn't feel its necessary. They want him reevaluated and more claims sent in to be determined if its medically necessary. If the insurance company wont pay for a MRI........How will they agree to a surgery to fix a mistake made so long ago? Wall after Wall after Wall.......no windows, no doors, only a open ceiling and a soft floor for me to hit my knees and look to the heavens. In HIS time and HIS way if HE feels I am worthy enough will he make the path to stop my aching either go away or be filled. Oh how my Patience is being tested and to be honest I feel I am failing miserably!

Mommy Common sense! MUST READ!

Sorry its been a while since I blogged but between church, soccer, college, and work I just don't have the time. But, I felt this was important.

As I have worked with children, have children and have friends with children I have come to know most childhood illnesses from hives, lice, allergic reactions, yeast infection diaper rashes to hand foot and mouth, croup, asthma and pneumonia. I am NOT qualified nor do I have a medical degree but what I do have is mommy common sense and the contact with each diagnoses to back it up. I DO NOT Google because well.......who has ever parent googled and been listed with a bunch of nonsense diagnoses that all point to a life threatening diagnoses by WebMD I know I have. Well here is where technology failed me 11 years ago.

11 years ago Brianna was born she was a average baby and for the most part VERY healthy she had one huge problem.....Chronic Ear Infections. I felt like we were in the doctors every other week when one antibiotic ended the other ear would get infected. The cycle was brutal on us as well as her. You know those middle of the night howlings and screaming followed by you as a mother in fetal position PRAYING for 20 minutes of sleep before the howling and screaming began again! Ya I know you know! Well I was 20 years old and I trusted my pediatrician to do right by my child. They do hold a degree and for Gods sake they are DOCTORS! Classic ear infection no problem right....she didnt have a mysterious rash or random fevers of no cause or origin she had ear infections. We also 11 years ago didnt have Facebook or Myspace or Twitter and to be honest I didnt have ANY friends with kids so information came straight from the doctor. Where am I going with the computer stuff this is where....When we post our Facebook status about our children or our day or what we are making for dinner we get feedback from other people. If I had posted "Up all night with Brianna again pretty sure we are on ear infection 13246543216543541" I would have atleast gotten a friend or family member to say....Hey my child had that same problem and had tubes put in their ears you should call Dr so and so they did my kids and BAM no ear infections...Well this never happened for me and this is the result.

We have switched pediatrician since the first whack job let me just give you a antibiotic regardless of the strains of infections that are mutating up immunities to these said antibiotics and mommy will just feel better. Im not a mommy who needs to feel better jack ass a  mommy who wants my child better and will ONLY give those said antibiotics if a BACTERIA or INFECTION is present NOT because you think I need to feel better about pumping my kid full of unnecessary antibiotics!

During those ear infection battles we discovered that Brianna was allergic to Amoxicillan and Ceftasporin antibiotics and she was from then on out given Zitromax. It did work but she lived on it.....and my doctor never suggested tubes in her ears. He also just treated Shailyn for chronic croup, bronchitis, CONSTANT wheezing and hospitalized Strep A bacterial pneumonia with out ever considering it was being caused by weak lungs due to ASTHMA! This same doctor also NEVER diagnosed Nic with his Low Growth Hormone levels that caused him to all of a sudden stop growing at 2 years old....that took me fighting for a referral to Georgetown Hospital Endocrinology after he was 4 years old and STILL in a 2T. That was enough for me to FREAK OUT! We left the practice and since have found a GREAT pediatrician and are very happy with the care we receive! Brianna has had a huge bought with strep throat and he referred us to ENT.  We met with ENT Dr today who said that Brianna was going to definitely need her tonsils out she has pitted tonsils that grab and hold bacteria in the little pockets of those pits and it would just get worse and not get better. While she was talking to us about her history and drug allergies she was looking Brianna over and as she looked in her ears I told her about the chronic ear infections and how she lived on one antibiotic for 2 years of her life and she said.....St Marys pediatrician.....I said YUP, she still looking in Briannas ears....start with a S and end in a TH I said no but close La......feer. She said.....she needed tubes!!!!  I can see the struggle in her ears.....she has some pretty bad scarring on her ear drums due to that struggle!!!!  I must have looked dumbfounded because she sat down and said that doctors don't seem to want to refer kids to specialists to fix the problems. I know I disliked that doctor but now I am FURIOUS! my child has SCARS on her EAR DRUMS due to his lack of concern and his antibiotic pushing self! She then informed me that the pediatricians were treating kids with fluid in their ears with antibiotics this is when that common sense comes into play.....Antibiotics are to treat infections and bacteria NOT fluid in the ears.....fluid need to be drained NOT given a antibiotic for it.

What I am trying to say pretty much is listen if parents had to take a infectious control class before becoming parents they wouldn't be so apt to just take a antibiotic from the doctor and give it to a child based on a VIRUS ANTIBIOTICS DONT CURE VIRUSES. I can honestly say that I threw away 75% of the prescriptions for my kids when the doctor handed them to me after telling me my child had a virus. by the time Brianna is my age she may not have a antibiotic she can take to cure a common sinus infection because her doctor let her live on Zithromax instead of referring to a specialist. If your child had a reoccurring illness over and over and over again see a specialist! Dont wait till your child has permanent damage and you live with the guilt of that. She will need hearing aids long before old age when our hearing starts to go...hers will go quicker because she is so scarred up.  Just use mommy common sense.

That backfired only slightly!

On Sunday Brianna had a soccer game,  on the way to our church picnic that was before her game Brianna told me she often feels nervous before her games.  I asked her what does she do when she feels nervous she replied "nothing", I laughed and said "What should you do?". She sat there for a minute and then said "Well I guess I could pray?"

Im trying to make sure that my children know that every problem they have in life can be lifted up in prayer and the Lord will help them make since of it. I told Brianna that prayer sounded like a great idea! I told her that most football games, or baseball games are started in the locker rooms with prayer. She looked slightly puzzled by this. She then looks at me and said "Well what do I pray for???"

I had to actually think about that for a minute What do you pray for before a sporting event? So I sat there and then said "Well first Thank God for the blessing of be able to play something you love so much, ask for strength to endure the sport, ask for the wisdom to make good judgement, ask for the knowledge to make good plays, watch over and protect the players of the game to keep them safe and free from injury and most importantly ask God to bless you with encouraging words to say to your teammates as well as your opponets.  She looked at me and smiled and say AWESOME Thanks Mom! That made me smile!

Well  the game was going full force and those girls we fighting each other tooth and nail for the ball. It was a hard game being played by both teams. I starting noticing that the girl on the opposing team #5 was not playing very fair and who was she covering...BRIANNA! I am very vocal on the sidelines (Go figure right) well #5 kept throwing her arm up across Briannas chest when she was trying to go around her to block her...In case you don't know soccer, that is not allowed you can use your whole body or arm at a angle but not straight across the chest...The ref was calling NOTHING! We all love when that happens dont we! I had an INCREDIBLE since of yelling raging inside my body. My insides were screaming to yell "KEEP IT UP #5 IM WATCHING YOU" I walked up and down the sidelines briskly and my heart was racing and I realized...This soccer mom stuff is tough buisness! I prayed for calming...didnt happen LOL. Well forth quarter we were up 1-0 and the opposing team was NOT happy about that. The gloves were coming off at this point. Brianna is a Midfeilder and had already had two oppurtunities to score and either missed the net or didnt pull the trigger and she was down on the other side of the feild opposite of the goal they score into. She was able to get the ball and was running..I MEAN RUNNING! Like Forrest Gump running with the ball dribbling really fast probably the fastest I had ever seen her dribble the ball down field!! Then guess what HERE COMES  #5 with a quick TRIP!!!! I watched my daughter CHEST plant in the middle of the feild!! I mean like CHEST first and her feet flipped up almost touching the back of her head with her arms CRUMPLED under her! My heart stopped! Then she got up and took off down the feild!!! I was astonished! The ref NEVER called the Penalty!

As she kept playing I noticed she was holding her arm and opening and closing her hand and favoring it ALOT. I yelled out CRUSH and when she looked my way I gave her a thumbs up she signaled back WITH THE OTHER ARM and thumbs up. We were nearing the end of the game and her coach switched out the line....never pulling Brianna....She played till the end. As she ran up and down the feild again coming SUPER close to scoring I could see the swelling in her arm. At the end of the game her team won they held them to the 1-0 lead. When she made it to the sidelines  I asked if she was okay she said NO. I looked at her arm and it was swollen I could have sworn it was broke. She was able to move it and she decided she didnt want to go the ER she was fine. I respected her decision and she came home and went to Awana.

Later that night she came to me and said "You know Mom I did what you said and I prayed before the game and asked for Gods protection for my teammates and I got hurt???" Why would he let me get hurt?? My response was "Well was your arm broken?" She replied No I said right Gods gonna let you fall and maybe even scrape your knees alittle but understand one thing....He will always PICK YOU UP! Did you get up? She said Yes, I said right and did you finish your game? she said Well yeah....I said Right! He gave you the protection you asked for and the strenght and the wisdom to make decisions that didnt involve retaliation and that can also fit into encouragement...Think about how your teammates may have felt after they watched you fall HARD onto the ground and even with your arm aching you got up and you CONTINUED your game. That Babygirl was God.....

My ideal marriage...With the help of my Faith.

As much of us are very well aware fairy tales dont exist. The Knight in shining armour is never gonna whisk you up and carry you off into the sunset or to the top of a tower overlooking a gorgeous kingdom. This was a hard concept for me to come to. I always wanted that TV show marriage not King of Queens but the Leave it to Beaver one. I had such a hard life as a child, my parents didnt show me the picture perfect version of a marriage. I set up unrealistic expectations of what a marriage was and then expected my husband to live up to those standards based soley on what I wanted and didn't want from what I saw in my parents marriage. I then realized that the only knight in shining armour to come swoop me up and take to my tower over looking the kingdom was Jesus Christ when he comes back. My happily ever after starts then and only then not while I am here.

Friends around us are divorcing left and right and believe me when I say my marriage has been on the battlefield more than I care to admit and on countless times almost collapsed to a ashy pile of smoky dust at the front lines of that battlefield. I have recently decided to pray about what my marriage was meant to be by Gods standards and not the standards of Disney Princess lives. This is my new standard and what I want in my marriage and what God intended our marriage to be.

1. I will and I want my husband to have patience. Fights occur when patiece is lost....

2. I will not easily anger....see #1 :) I will go to prayer before I speak. Only words to lift my husband not words to discourage him.

3. I will chose to be kind in all things. How I speak, my ACTIONS (equally as important then my words)

4. I will make it a point to kiss my husband when he walks in the door to show him that I missed him while he was gone and how THANKFUL I am the Lord brough him home each and every day!

5. My only addiction......My husband. Good bye facebook.

6. I will pray with my husband and become submissive in the way of religion. I will submit to his leadership in our faith.

7. I want to work as a team together holding hands facing down the darker paths of life with the Light of the Lords Glory shining on us. Through Christ who gives us strentgh those dark paths will be lite through him.

8. I want a relationship full of mutual respect.

9. I want to rely on my husband for help. Teamwork. Always be his equal.

10. Most impotantly I want a marriage filled with all the blessing the Lord has bestowed upon us...with that being said Grace and Forgiveness.

I think as I am mom I am doing alright!

I got a phone call last week from a organization called Amvets (American Veterans) I think its like purple heart. They collect donations from local residents. They asked if I had any clothing or houseware stuff I would like to donate of course I always have clothes from the kids. I told them I did and looked forward to them coming to get them. When I got off the phone Brianna asked me who I was talking to and I told her it was a organization who collects things to give to needy families. About a hour later she came back and said..."Do they take flip flops?" I said I am sure they do. Well the next day I was busy doing laundry and cleaning up the hallway upstairs when I came across a Old navy bag with some clothes in it. I assumed they were from a over night trip one of the girls had last weekend. I pulled out a hoodie and a pair of pants and flip flops as I looked at them I realized it was Briannas flip flops she had asked about and then I realized she had packed a bag to give to Amvets. I attempted to put the clothes back in the bag when I felt something in the pocket, I reached in and found two folded up pieces of paper. On those papers found this.....







It reads in case you cant see it

Dear reader,
I hope you enjoy this nice jacket and it keeps you cozy, Also I hope this jacket can be of use. I wish you the best of luck with the days to come!

Love, Brianna
<3

P.S. I hope you like this drawing just for you!

And here is the drawing





I stood in shock and then that moment was followed by proud. I am sure no one will ever see this letter but I cant help but to feel like Brianna went to bed with a happy thought that night and I know I went to bed with a feeling of....I may not be perfect, I make mistakes, I often screw up but I am raising some pretty great kids and I am happy with that!

Just a random act of kindness....if only the whole world joined in.

Saturday was a typical Saturday in the Supermom household. I took the girls to church for the Mother/Daughter breakfast. After I came home and cleaned up some then we rolled out to where else....the soccer field! Shay had a game followed by Nics but there was a hour break between games and I was STARVING! I asked Brian to take me to Subway so I could grab a sub. Nic and I went inside apparently he was hungry to. Well I noticed the man in front of me, he was a older gentlemen. He was ordering his sub....just a sub 6 inch sub to be exact. I took a mental note of the girl taking the order and noticed she seemed flustered. I wasn't sure if it was a "this customer is getting on my nerves" or the "I am the only worker and the line is building" flustered. Then I noticed she was intently looking at the gentlemen who I then noticed had that sound when he talked...that muffled not producing sound just more or less that round about sound..I don't know how to describe it...he was deaf. Now I knew what kind of flustered the sub maker was...with the customer. Well this kind of annoyed me a bit...you work with the general public and this gentlemen was deaf. He could not help that he couldn't hear and my bad you have to listen intently when he speaks and take note of where he is pointing! This got under my skin a bit but I just stood there kind of dumbfounded. I was watching this gentlemen trying so hard to communicate with the worker and her frustration was growing and to be honest I wanted to help but I don't know sign language I couldn't help! As I stood there I noticed the gentleman's clothes. They were slightly dirty and looked worn and his shoes had a hole in the toe, his shirt had a few holes...and he looked a little unkept. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of silent world he was living in. After the sub was done and the worker took him to the register he reached deep down in his pocket and started counting change...now the worker was really frustrated and I stood there praying for the right way to handle this....God answered me....

Smile and pay for this gentleman's food.

(worker is standing with that I am annoyed look and the gentlemen counting dimes)

I stood there for a minute trying to process what I was hearing and I heard it louder

SMILE AND PAY FOR THIS GENTLEMAN'S FOOD SHANNON!!

This time I heard my actual name....God was SERRRIOUS!

So I looked at Nic standing my the order here sign and said Stay here!

I walked up to register and I smiled at the worker and I said. Here take my card I got his meal.

She looked at me and said Do you know him??

I smiled and said No why do I need to know him to pay for his food?

She laughed and said NO but random strangers don't just pay for random peoples food! I smiled (like God said) and replied...they should! If more people showed more random acts of kindness and humanity towards strangers the world would be a much better place.

Then I lightly touched the gentleman's arm to get his attention...he looked up at me and there was a genuine sincerity in his eyes and I smiled and showed him the receipt and motioned..I got it for you!

He looked shocked and then he smiled and Thanked me.....50 times! He smiled and my heart was warmed. Then he shook my hand and bowed down to me I guess to show me how much he appreciated what I had done. I smiled really BIG and kept saying your welcome enjoy! He walked out turning to me bowing down and trying to say thank you thank you thank you.....

After he left I took my spot in the line and then I noticed the WHOLE demeanor of every witness in Subway had changed! The worker smiled at me and said "You are one special women...I have never seen anyone just pay for a strangers food". I smiled and said.."Well next time you go to a fast food restaurant....pay for the car behind you, then go to a sit down restaurant pick a random family and pay for them, God will reward those who serve him and others. Soon you can pay for the groceries to a family in front of you.

The point is, we are all quick to judge and get annoyed or think to much about random acts of kindness. If you hear that voice in your head its God follow him and his sayings I can promise he wont steer you wrong. You never know what the family in front of you at the grocery store went through to get there or to get the money to pay for it. She may have chosen to not pay her car payment because her kids were hungry or maybe they just lost their job and that was all the money they had and are praying for Gods help with the finances you just may be that answered prayer.

The best of this story. Nic said Mommy, Did you buy that mans food? That was very nice of you. Can I buy someone food with my Christmas money? I turned to him and I said Of course you can! We can donate it to the food pantry at church. That way your food could feed a few people in need! I have now started my 6 year old on the right path of kindness!

My husband will fight burglers naked....be warned!

Early this morning I rolled over and I remember this and I happened to hit my pillows the right way and I remember saying to myself...This is the MOST comfortable I had ever been and then boom DEEP SLEEP! Ever had one of those? Well not to much longer I was awakened by the sound of my house alarm! Brian has set it off pretty much every morning so I laid there in bed listening for the profanities and the THUD/THUMPS of the mad dash to turn it off......NOTHING......So I opened my eyes to see the light under the bathroom door. Brian was NOT leaving he was in the bathroom..Now the panic pretty much set in! I JUMPED up ran to the panel in my bedroom....all it said was ALARM ZONE 19??? What the heck was zone 19....so I listened our alarm talks on the main level. We opted for the talking alarm because my kids are sneaky and it shouts what has been opened. Example : BEEP BEEP BEEP...Fault Basement Door open.....I catch a kid sneaking outside through the basement! So anyway back to panic mode.....I then crept over to the bedroom door and I heard....(This scared the HELL out of me) ALARM DO DO DO DO Dining room WINDOW!!! What the......window......window....WINDOW!!! Someone is trying to break in....who comes in a window??? So now I haven't even called to Brian he is still in the bathroom....I start to sneak down the steps to get a view of the dining room windows. I didn't have to creep far to see them, so I look and NOTHING...its not opened, the screens are intact and not removed or ripped. So I calm down and then I turned, MIND YOU I am about 3 steps down, I turn to return to bed and let ADT know we are not being burglarized and I turn righ smack into.....MY HUSBAND MANHOOD! Of course I JUMPED Brian had apparently heard the alarm while attempting to get in the shower and came out behind me NAKED! I yelled at him..BRIAN YOUR NAKED!! He said I know but do you think if someone is breaking in my house I am worried about my clothes! I said well I bet they will....He said perfect way to scare them off...This still confuses me....So Thank you ADT for showing me that my husband will fight burglers either clothed or naked.....and Thank you for apparently going off for NO REASON and disturbing my Steller drooling on my pillow sleep...

Mary mother of God: The original Supermom!

So my husband is gone (for work for a month been 2 weeks already) and I am feeling overwhelmed and stressed but have been finding moments of solitude and profound statements in the best place ever.....MY BIBLE! Who'd a thunk it right? :) Well upon reading Mark (my husband is a new bible reader YAY and he is reading it so I want to be on the up and up when he asks questions or forms a discussion) and in this book is some of the stories of Jesus during his time of human form here in earth. For those who aren't aware of his healing, and dealings, and miraculous work..read it its awesome ;) Well it sparked a conversation between my soul sister Sarah and I she being a fellow Christian whom I can go to with anything and she can find it usually instantly, sometimes it takes a little work but together we figure it out. I made the statement that how awesome it would have been to be alive in those times to see Jesus work in lives of people face to face or to see his footstep on the ground or to just be in the presence of him. We see him work in his spirit form and by our faith in him but I would have LOVED to see him work in the ways I have read. Well as that conversation progressed (about 2 hours of time) we moved from there and we were talking about Herod because I was seeing his name alot and then we proceeded to talk of his antics and his plot to massacre all baby boys under the Age of 2. Well this started a deeper mommy message about Mary herself.

Mary, the mother of the Son of God. That name carries such a deep meaning. Here is this young mother who gives birth to a baby boy not just any baby boy but the Son of God!! Then shortly after his birth Mary was informed that she had to flee Bethlehem with the baby to escape the King (Hebron) who ordered the death of all baby boys under the age of two! Put yourself in Mary's shoes as a mother...we all protect our children and would lay our lives down for them but she is the mother of the Messiah.
Mary fled the town and took the baby to Isreal where he would be safe. The protector of the Messiah is what she is in my definition...Supermom! Could you imagine the fear and anxiety and the mental anguish she must have felt. Her babies life was in danger! Ultimately his life was always in danger...not exactly danger but it was prophesied of what would become of him. Mary the devoted mother was with her son through all his suffering. women lose children due to other circumstance but usually not at any control of her own anyway BUT mary gave birth to a child and raised him knowing what would happen to him. How can you enjoy the time you have with your child knowing around the tender age of 33 years you would watch him be sacraficed for us. GRANTED, he did this for us and to carry the weight of all sins of the hman world and again ultimately to set us free but still being a mother I cant help but weep for her as well as him.

When Jesus was arrested and taken into custody and sentenced to the flogging and the torture where was Mary? I will tell you....with her son! She stayed with the crowds of people and she watched her son bear the most unbearable of all things. I know when B corrects our children I sometimes get that momma lion instinct and I want to step in. Place yourself in her shoes again....Could you as a mother watch what he went through on one of your own children? She walked along side him as he carried his cross all while still being beaten and harrased and mocked and she went to the top of that mountain and then again was there and watched as her son was crucified!! I cant help but feel very torn by her decision to watch what was done. I have trouble watching my children get vaccinations I could not even bear the thought of enduring the things that she did. I do have one thing to say about Jesus in this time in all his anguish and pain he thought of his mother and as he saw her during the crucifiction he made time for her and cared enough for her to appoint a disciple to care for her~~

John 19:26-27 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman,here is your son,” 27 and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.

I guess where I am going with this is I will never so much as dare to complain about motherhood or the trails and tribulatons of having a child when I will never experience and have to deal with what Mary did. I will always reflect on what she experienced and use it as my own life lesson. As you enjoy the presence of your children this Sunday Mothers day take to time to reflect and pray for what it could have been.

I love how literal kids are!

SCENE: Lining up with the bags full of eggs all the daycare kids found on the Easter egg hunt.

SM: Everyone line up so Ms. Supermom can take a picture!
(pause)

SM: Okay dont hold the bags in front of you face....put them on your belly button.

DV:(2yr old in my daycare) ***Lifting up his shirt.....and puts the bag on his belly button.

SM: GREAT WAY TO FOLLOW DIRECTIONS DV Good Job!

Happy Easter folks!!!