We actually had a night of no running around last night and was excited in the idea of a long hot bath (which I got). Early in the night I should have known it was gonna be "one of those" kinda nights! He was grilling chicken for dinner and I had just taken out the trash from the daycare and walked around to the front of the house where he was. I walked in the front door and he was walking out side I stopped in front of him and kissed him for the first time all day! Nothing big just a simple how was your day kiss. Well my hand brushed against his.....well...package....He looks at me and say HA HA HA you fucked up now you grabbed my shit! I busted out laughing and said NO I DIDNT my hand brushed it he argued it was a cupped grab...I am pretty sure he imagined that. Well I guess that incident started a night of vulgarness!
When I came downstairs after my bath I was sporting my nightgown and ready for bed. Brian proceeds to tell me that I had something on the back of my leg, I lift my gown just slightly and try to look for what he was talking about. I didn't see anything and he kept saying "look its right there in the top of your leg" as he says these things I continue to lift a little higher and spin like a flipping dog chasing its tail and after I searched and nothing I turned to him and said..."Your an ASS" he laughed hysterically and says "YUP, and I just saw your BUTT!" SERIOUSLY???? WTF?
After about an hour Brian decided to come upstairs for bed and I was just finishing up a conversation with an old friend via phone and as I climbed into my bed one of my girls fell out of my nightgown just enough for Brian to jump on yet another opportunity! He said "Hot Damn" is that foreplay.....I said "Ummmmm NO" he said 5 play?? (WTF is he R Kelly this isn't 12 play) I repeated NO WTF is wrong with you!!! He again just laughs..... REALLY MEN??? I don't understand!
Brian proceeds to turn on the TV and the movie Role Models was on which is a favorite of both of ours. I can watch that movie 100 times and still laugh hysterically! Brian gets all excited and says.....'Lets take lots of Ambien and stay up....and fuck" (a line from the movie) I laughed and said "Your so stupid" He leans over and says "I love your whispering eye" (If you don't know what that means you have never seen the movie, but lets just say its my "V") I told him he was gross and I rolled over where he then rolls over to me and says "Can I dry hump you butt" SERIOUSLY I like rolled as far away as possible and said WTF is wrong with you tonight can I get 5 minutes without a vulgar comment.....To meet and know my husband you would think that its impossible for him to be this way but believe ME when I say....he's the worst! Yet its a funny story but REALLY???
At what point after 14 years of the same scenery will it become old? I cant take a shower with out his eye balls peaking in the curtain, or him purposely dropping stuff and asking me to bend over to get it, and my favorite all the dumb tricks he pulls that even after 14 years I still fall for!