Romance and the Puffer Fish!

The story of a married couple seeking some romantic alone time watching a sunset...and having a moment interrupted by a Johnny Crain and a Puffer Fish!


So B and I had my mom keep the kids and we went down to the beach at the campgrounds to watch the sunset and maybe sneak in a quick little crazy make out session :) Well it started like this....






Awwwwww cute right! Who wouldnt want to kiss with a skyline like this..




Well....its must also be feeding time for the Johnny Crains as well....B and I saw one land on the rocks off the shoreline. We watched it for a minute hopping around and thought for a minute about how cool they are and B did his King of the Hill....I can heal you Wooolllooooo looooo loooooo thing he always does when he sees one. Well my photography brain kicked into overdrive and all I had was my stupid cell phone but wanted a cute picture of our intertwinded feet and the sunset in the background! Apparently even B's feet are not photogenic...he was being ridiculous and laying in the sand not cooperating and as I laughed at him and punched him around in the sand (playfully of course) I noticed the crain was flying with something in its mouth. I told B to "Look the crain has something in its mouth!!!" He looks up about the time what was hanging out of the mouth of the crain drops to the ground! It made this hollowed out 'THUD" sound, I looked at B and said "What the hell is that" it looked like a ball bouncing on the ground and rolling...The crain landing right beside it. B says lets go check it out. So we get up and run down the beach like playfull teenagers racing to get there first and I was the FIRST to arrive. I see it and it looks like a white textured ball so I leaned over it closer to get a better look I told B "It looks like a ball of some sort??? and then it happened...It made a like spitting/hissing sound I screamed and Ran Like Megan in a clown house! Yelling as I ran down the beach squealing and jumping around ...IT HISSED AT ME AHHHHHHHHH OMG ( insert heebie jeebies dance) and B laughs and walks up to it and says...What the Hell is it?? Meanwhile I am still in the background doing the heebie jeebie dance and Brian is grabing a stick to inspect the alien that fell from the sky. Me (from a safer distance says..What is it?) B turns and says "ITS A PUFFER FISH!" A puffer WHAT I said....he says a Puffer Fish! I now walk closer and look at it with B. and here we are poking it...




And then B picked it up with one of the contraptions he always has in his pocket so I could get a better look at it!




It was a real live puffer fish! It was kinda cool minus the whole hissing and spitting thing. But it was trying to deflat...so we saved it and B threw it back into the water where it floated for a minute still hissing and spitting like a balloon with the end squeezed open and then all of a sudden...it deflated and swam away! So we marveled in the weirdness that our romantic evening had turned into the rescue of a strange fish. But then again how can you let a moment like this go to waste...so we watched the sun set melt in to the river and we snuggled and played around like teenagers (fun stuff not dirty you crazy people). Took in the moment and enjoyed each other and the amazing view in front of us....

Going....




Going....




Almost.......




GONE!!!!!!

Marriage Counceling........Negotiated Time Out!

So B and I attend Marriage Counseling......What of it? I am talking every tuesday, couch, therapist, a easel where she writes ladders and scales about behavior, she had a clipboard (that i wish I could see how crazy she really thinks I am LOL) and crazy crazy moments where she makes us look at each other and talk....That is alittle rough but TOTALLY WORTH IT! What is so Tabooo about counceling?? I see it as a sign of how much we love each other...we hit a really rough patch, divorce was SERIOUSLY considered but you know what.........I LOVE HIM.....and what is SO wrong about taking steps to secure a stronger, healthier, and (I can say this now) HAPPIER marriage. I really think 90% of my friends would benefit from what we are learning! BUT I had to share this ONE of the many steps we have taken because honestly I FREAKIN LOVE THIS!!!!!!

NEGOTIATIONED TIME OUT!!

The point of this tool to avoid the unnecessary and HURTFUL things we as humans do to hurt our partner in the heat of an argument. Its a way to become rational in a irrational moment. As soon as you feel that your situation is escalating here is what you do........

STEP ONE

One person calls a timeout. The other has to honor this request!! (if your man or yourself are a follower, there is always one. Mine is Brian this is a somewhat hard part)

STEP TWO

Both AGREE to separate for 30 minutes to 3 hours. During this separation, each agrees to calm down about the situation. This can include going for a walk, journaling, taking a hot bath etc...(In my case call my BFF Sarah Lynn and scream till I feel better about how much I dislike him at the moment) Each is to tell the other where they will be during the break.

I like this part...I feel like I can reassess the fight and consider myself as the one who is over reacting. 99% of the time I am LOL!

STEP THREE

At the end of time, both check in with each other to make sure both feel calm enough to be together. If not.....wait longer!

If it takes the full 3 hours to cool down and your anything like us....busy busy busy that its even hard to have a fight you need to find time to set aside to figure out the solution. If you have time to do it right then and there and YOU ARE CALM AND RATIONAL then do it then if not......

STEP FOUR (This is another hard step if your one of those dont let the sun go down on your anger people)

Agreement is reached that both will sit down and discuss the issue/s within the next few days....NO LONGER THAN 7 days for the sit down. If you have to out it on your calendar then DO IT.

If you let it go to long then you will never fix it and then problem will just compound on top of older problems and this creates more problem because you resentment builds on top of that. Not to mention if you are not dealing with the problems and making your spouse aware of what is happening then the problem will NEVER get fixed.....BELIEVE ME! I KNOW THIS..........

STEP FIVE

You sit down and talk about what happened. This can suck but I have found when I am no longer angry I can see his point or make mine easier than yelling it at him.


Can I just say this ONE tool is helping my family so MUCH. My kids even notice and say..Mommy and Daddy hardly fight anymore...I am not saying that we dont but I am saying that we fight better and its usually just a disagreement that turns to quiet time and then a discussion! Who doesnt want to raise their children in a household where they see you resolve your conflict and the RIGHT way to do it. Our thereapist brought up a good point one night she asked if we ever apologize in front of our kids when they see us fight....We answered NOPE! She said now ask your self.....When you saw your parents fighting or heard them, Did you ever hear them apologize to each other.... I will also leave you with that thought..........

I have a confession and a BIG CHALLENGE ahead of me...

SO I am a SMOKER.....There I said it....A nasty filthy SMOKER....Mostly a closet, yet social smoker. I have had friends say...I had no idea you are a smoker? I often answer "Well its usually at night after my kids are in bed or sometimes at the end of the day when my daycare kids leave,or Mostly if I am out drinking! What started as a casual, social bad habit has turned into a full fledged ADDICTION! Its weird I can go four or five days and not smoke then all of a sudden I need one...But then I will smoke a WHOLE pack in a day! Its a very confusing crazy addiction. Most smoker friends say that if I can go even a day I can quit..its also my vice on how I deal with stress. I get angry, frustrated, sad, happy, honestly its become apart of my phone conversations how do I stop???? Well now I am being faced with a bet....

Last June I formed a Relay for Life American Cancer Society Team in honor of my sister who was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer. As I walked around and celebrated, remembered, and honored those who won the battle against cancer, those who lost and the current warriors and it was a very humbling day! I decided in that moment that this coming year...June 2011 I was gonna ROCK the event! Since June 2010 I have been planning and brainstorming all kinds of ideas..I already have my tent set up planned and all the activities and supplies I need have been written down and lists are made and a BIG fundraiser is in the works! I am also excited the Brian can join this year and not have to work! Brian has been riding this ride with since June and laughs at my crazy ideas and gives my ideas on how to raise lots and lots of money towards our team but MORE IMPORTANTLY to raise money towards Relay for Life. Well he decided to other night he was going to do his OWN fundraiser. We were 266 days away from Relay 2011 and he hit me with......How about I will donate 1.00 a DAY for everyday that you don't smoke! It has to be continuous and if you start...ITS DONE! If you last 2 day its 2 bucks you last 10 is 10 dollars but if you make it to relay its 266 dollars for your team! Well I had to finish my pack I had just bought so I did just that...I finished it on day 265!

Its been 2 days since I have smoked and I am consuming MASSIVE amounts of chocolate!! Then this morning Brian sweetened to the pot and said he would DOUBLE the amount if I stay not smoking... That is $530.00!!!! I need to do this....I don't want cancer........But I just may become a huge FAT COW with a bad attitude whom may hurt my husband when my FULL FLEDGED Nicotine withdraw kicks in......Does anyone have any ideas NOT using gum or patches to help cure my itch of smoking...I hate to be challenged..Oh and I HATE to Lose!

Daddy...I HAVE TO POOP REAL BAD!

Ahhhhhh just another one of those memories you will carry forever and laugh at HYSTERICALLY for the rest of your life!

Last night we were doing what we always do...running the roads. Brianna has Soccer and Shailyn had Cheerleading (thankfully at the same park just different fields). B had taken Nic to the park to play with another little boy who is around the same age. Nic was running around running around and more running around when he came to a sudden STOP! He look at B with this crazy look and yelled "Daddy I have to Poop REAL BAD" B said "okay buddy lets go" Nic yells again..."Daddy I gotta go REEEEEEEAL BAAAAAAD" and takes off running across the parking lot. B said when he looked up Nic was literally running with his hand clasping his butt cheeks together. B said at that point he lost it!! He laughed so hard and then a lady in the parking lot looked up and saw Nic hauling ass all while holding his but cheeks together. She looked at B who was laughing uncontrollably! She said " Oh my some one needs to go potty really bad!" This caused B to lose his mind in laughter.

Nic finally arrrives at the bathroom and pulls the door open and runs inside. B also takes the oppurtunity to go into the bathroom beside Nic and also potty. B is using the facilities and he hears Ni yelling from the next bathroom.."DADDY....I NEED HELP!!!" B yells back "Alright I am going pee to buddy I will be right there"....

B gets in to the bathroom and finds Nic standing in the bathroom with a look of HORROR and he said "Daddy I dont know what to do about this?" B looked and realized Nic never made it to the bathroom in time. All his effort and he had a opps!

B said all he could do was laugh and Nic was horrified he had to go commando the remainder of the night!

I really wish I could have seen thesight that it was of Nic holding his butt running for his little life...........

Mommy needs a time out!

Are we even allowed to take those?

Sometimes I feel like the stress of 3 kids, house, full time job, and husband are to much to bare. I tend to let the little things flip me over the border of rational to not so rational in a matter of seconds! So I have decided that when I act like my kids and have a temper tantrum (which I do rather well if I do say so myself) I need to put myself in "time out".

As a mother/wife are we allowed to take ourselves out of a situation and have a time out? I find that if I can walk away from a situation a breathe I can sometimes handle the situation better. I just need to negotiate the terms of my time out I think a glass of wine while sitting there would be pure torture! But a necessary punishment!

Okay, being serious now. Can we as parents do this? Would our children learn more self control by mimicking our behaviors if they see us removing ourselves from a situation that could escalate into a free for all word throwing rampage! I believe that teaching the children to walk away and collect their thoughts inside their head and have a more calm approach to the situation. I know when I get super angry I tend to say things I don't mean (only to my husband of course) if I get a time out...that wont happen!

I guess we will just have to see if this works and I an ashamed to say...I hope I get time outs alot...because I could totally use a break!

Another Happy Birthday Birth Story!

Today is my middle child's 8th Birthday! Anyone who knows me (which most of my readers don't) knows that Shailyn was the labor of all labors...I SERIOUSLY think she wanted to kill me from the inside out! A quick back story...I was in a car accident at 15wks with Shay, 9 weeks later I had a whole day with no movement...I went to the hospital..they find her heartbeat (thank god) but hook me up for a bit to monitor her only to find I was contracting...this started a long stint of pre term labor and many weeks of BED REST! At 32 weeks I had just a normal day of preterm contractions and irritability only to find by night time it was worse...I went to the hospital I was contracting 2-3 minutes and they managed to stop it with the Trabutiline shots in my arms....The next morning I went down for a sono to make sure she was ok...I started contracting every 2 minutes....get back to my room...I WAS DIALATED...cervical change at 32 weeks not good....2 days hospitalized on magnesium sulfate....BLOWS...But no baby so that was a BIGGER BLESSING! at 37 weeks...they took me off all medications and said....have at it....have your baby when you want!

May 3, 2002- I had lost my mucus plug 2 days earlier and the doctor said...24-48hrs till I could possibly go into labor and I was already 3cm dialated. Well all day I had this horrible pressure feeling. It was almost like there was something in there...she had descended to the birth canal is all it was. Well Brian and I were suppose to go pick up a pool table in LaPlata which is a hour away and it was the weekend after the horrible F5 Tornado had ripped through the small town and I wasn't necessarily ready to see my hometown torn to shreds plus I was scared to go that far away from the hospital! I decided to stay with my mom and go shopping 5 minutes from the hospital. We went to the furniture store and I kept telling her I thought my water was going to break my pressure was getting worse...she said "DO NOT SIT ON ANYTHING"...real nice huh? Well nothing happened....We went home and then met up with Brian and my step dad at my house later....I looked at my mom and said you better go home and get some sleep I will be calling you later!! She said okay we will see!

Brian and I finally got to bed about 11....I looked at him and said "I think I am going to go into labor! Wanna get the ball rolling seeing as it will be six weeks...you better take it now why you can get it!" well bow chicka wow wow.....

A fell asleep around 12..

1:52am.....I sat straight up in bed with that Oh My GOD breathe breathe breathe....
swatting at Brian....Ummmmmmmmmm Holy Shit.......Fuck me Fuck me Fuck me....it worked and ummmmmmmmm......this is not good!!!

Brian wakes up and see's I am in PAIN.... he kinda freaks....2 minutes later....HOLY FUCK! here comes another one....OMG OMG OMG I hit my knees laying my head on the bed, breathe breathe breathe.....

It passes....I look at Brian...WE NEED TO GO! Like an hour ago...maybe doing that was not such a good idea! this is WAY different then with Bri....I am hurting...like I was at 8cm with Bri.....We NEED TO GO! He calls his parents and tells them we are on our way to drop off Bri and head to the hospital!

We get in the car to go to the in laws and thankfully just down the street in the neighborhood because I didn't even put Bri in her car seat I put her on my lap to lesson the time...We arrive at his parents and for some strange reason I thought it would be okay to carry Bri into the house...Apparently Labor Brain....is not the common sense part of the brain...Half way up the sidewalk....I get another contraction...this one worse than before...My knees buckle and Brians dad walks out...I am yelling.......I AM GOING DOWN OMG GRAB BRI GRAB BRI.....He runs grabs her right before I hit the ground here I am on all fours rocking and breathing through the contraction right on the sidewalk in front of his house...NICE!

We leave quickly because I honestly thought she was going to come out in the car I laid on my side grabbing Brians arm with EVERY painful contraction that was hitting me every 2 minutes! I cried (which I did not once with Bri all natural) the pain was way different and much more worse than I remembered with Bri...we get to the hospital and I couldn't even walk to L&D...I needed a stupid wheelchair....

We arrive in Labor and Delivery about 4am....getting out of the house was longer than I wrote....I had to work through ALOT of contractions at home...They check me and the nurse says ok honey your about 3-4cm....I looked at her and I said WHAT?!?!?!? She said yeah your probably not going anywhere but its gonna be a while....DUMB BITCH was all I could think...she is lying to me....this pain is crazy...

I got up out of the bed because I don't labor well laying down in a bed..I like to be up and walking and moving plus my BACK was KILLING ME! Little did I know Shay was turned wrong...

I needed to go to the bathroom and the nurse walked in to get some more information and I was in the bathroom...I sat down and the all you heard was the sound of me peeing...but....I wasn't peeing....I yelled out to the nurse...Ummmmmmm My water just broke....she said....Are you sure? Yes....cant your hear it I cant pee that long......she says well you are staying....that was 5:15am....and my pain got even more worse than it was!

I am laboring pretty good at this point the pain is still horrific...I felt like I needed brian to punch my tail bone....I kept leaning over the bed asking Brian to take his fist and PUSH really hard on my tail bone and lower back...that seemed to be the only thing that helped my pain! He was scared to push...I was at this point losing my patience with him and I asked him again....PUSH HARDER BRIAN JESUS...Then I got frustrated and said Fuck it! I will labor on my own. A few minutes later I am dying literally or so I felt anyways and I look over at Brian and he was....you would never believe.....SLEEEEEEEEPING! I LOST IT! I yelled at him.....Brian what do you think you are doing? He said What? and then the words you NEVER say to a women in labor......I AM TIRED!!!...Those were words for murder! Seriously! If I didn't need the fluids I would have wrapped my IV tube around his neck and choked the life out of him! If looks could have killed,....he would have been dead! I looked at him and I said (very nasty) How the FUCK do you think I feel!!" This was not a good situation thank GOD my doctor walked in....I was crying....losing my focus because Brian was pissing me off I couldn't manage my pain and this...totally sucked!

its now 6:30am and my doctor decided he would check me to see if I was making any progress....He checks and I was ONLY 5cm......at this point I LOST IT! My doctor GOD LOVE HIM....sat down on my bed as I was sobbing uncontrollably because the pain was more intense than I had experienced before..he took my hand..looked me in my eyes and said "Shannon, I think over the course of the last 16 weeks we have developed a relationship...more so than just doctor/patient...I would like to consider myself your friend, and as your friend I CANT STAND to see you in this much pain, I know you are a all natural no pain medication person but I cant stand to see you like this and technically Can you do this for another 5 minutes?" through my crying I said no I cant but if I get the epidural I am SUCH A FAILURE! I looked at Brian because he knows my belief and he put his hands up and said "Oh hell no I am out of this because I am not going to make that decision, it is for you to make..I will not be blamed either way" I looked at my doctor and I mummered ok...I will do it!

He leaves the room only to return and say "We have a problem" The anesthesiologist is in Hughesville and it will take him about 20 minutes" I said Ummmm NO I want this epidural and I want it NOW...I had already let myself believe that I was going to have some relief what else can I do? Can I get in the shower I heard that helps with back labor? He said "Go for it!"

Brian helped my up and helped my into the shower. Something changed in me chanded when I got up...Once again little did I know Shay Flipped to face down position....

I am sitting in the shower and I put my head back on the wall and was taking in the calming feeling of the shower. Then all of a sudden out of NOWHERE I felt the urge to push....I was JUST told I was 5cm....there was no way I was ready to have her...But I really felt like I needed to just bare down...you moms know that I have to take a shit feeling...Brian looked at me and he said...Are you pushing? (grunting) NO, Yes you are what are you doing? Brian shut up I just feel like I need to push a little! He said..GET OUT OF THE SHOWER SHANNON this isn't funny. I looked at him and I said (grunting again..another contraction) Brian SHUT UP....about that time the floor of the shower filled up with blood Brian Freaked and said Ok you are getting out.....get out NOW!!!

Apparently my doctor could hear all of this and he looked at the nurse and said, "we are going to have a baby by shift change (7am) the nurse said you just checked her and she was 5 NO WAY I don't believe you...he replied "Listen to her...when she is talking and crying she is grunting....listen...."

Meanwhile, I am climbing out of the shower when I get hit with a big wave of PAIN..I buried my face in Brians chest grabbing skin in my clutches (which is painful for Brian but honestly the tittie twisting feeling was nothing on the crotch burning I was feeling) I started this yelling type moaning thing not screaming just more like a roar into Brians chest...Shay was right on the verge of coming out...I was at this point standing so the gravity pull was fueling the pain. It passes I walk to the bed and the nurse is standing there she says "I need to explain the risks of an epidural" I looked at her and in my pain I said.....You can tell me I will FUCKING DIE and I will sign that paper! When is the doctor going to get here...I cant take this anymore....(ha ha ha to me) I signed the paper and it looked like a ghost because I was shaking UNCONTROLLABLY (Transitioning anyone)

I sat down on the bed and I looked at the nurse and all I could yell was "OMG....I CANT GET THE EPIDURAL!!!!!!!" She said Why? I said SHE IS COMING NOOOOOOOW!! I had done this before so I knew what to do I grabbed my legs pulled those jokers back and I PUSHED like I had never pushed before....The nurse lifted my gown and started YELLING STOP STOP STOP STOP....DON'T PUSH SHE IS CROWNING...STOP STOP STOP....DR SBROCCO....GET IN HERE NOW!!!!!
She put her hands over me....that was not a good idea....I looked at her and I said...(God I am bitch)...IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS FROM OFF MY CROTCH I AM GOING TO KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE!!!!!! She had her hand on me HOLDING Shay in....REALLY??? Has anyone else given birth Naturally?? You know you CANNOT control that urge to PUSH..and this bitch is HOLDING HER IN!!! She told me to blow...Again...Natural...this DOES NOT WORK on someone who had already lost all control over her emotions and focus..

The doctor comes in..I said TELL HER TO GET OFF ME OR I AM GOING TO PHYSICALLY HURT HER...Dr Sbrocce (god love him again) said Shannon calm down breath I need to get set up...Just blow blow blow and I will go as fast as I can...Meanwhile....I am on FIRE....Again, with the all natural child birth....the ring of fire is NO joke!!! Your stuff is on FIRE LITERALLY and the nurse is holding Shay's head right at the point of FIRE...I could feel my self almost to the point of tearing..but not tearing...PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN....I looked at my doctor and cried out...PLEASE YOUR GONNA KILL ME...I NEED TO GET HER OUT!!!! YOU KNOW I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING..JUST GET HER OUT!!!! He said okay let me get my gloves on...That was all I gave him..his gloves....and I pushed....

At 6:52am 22minutes past being told I had 5 hours to go and was only 5 cm dilated my baby girl entered this world in all her beauty and calmness (she wasn't breathing) The next few minutes are a blur....I was EXHAUSTED and TRAUMATIZED by this fast delivery..I laid there...almost passing out vaguely remembering saying...Why isn't she crying? Is she ok? Finally after a few minutes (thank god for shift change she had about 7 nurses working on her) she cried! Her apgars we low but she finally let out her big huge cry and all I could do was cry! They wrapped her up and Oh my was she tiny...but the most Beautiful thing I had ever SEEN! All 6lb 15oz of her!

Today 8 yrs later Shailyn Alicia is the most vivacious child...who loves everyone, the most caring child I have, and absolutely beautiful inside and out! Happy Birthday Shailyn! I would do you birth a million times over...just to make sure I had you in my life every day!








Today!

10 Things I learned camping in the backyard with my kids...

So Saturday Brian and I decided that we would have a free mini vacation right in out own backyard! We had it all...Blankets, Tent, Books, Lantern and SMORES! While we were laying down and it was dark was when the real fun began...

10. Nic can speak frog! The bullfrogs were on a rampage and Nic so nice wanted them to be quiet and said he could tell them to be quiet...Goes to the screen and says....Ribibibibibib It.....(pause) the frogs still croaking......They cant hear me through the screen!

9. Mommy did you know that spider monkeys can shoot webs from their mouth.....Ummmmm Nope sure didn't but I do now!

8. Daddy our Guinea Pig is pregnant....Oh yeah how do you know? She has nipples....and babies come from nipples....(ummmmmm?????)

This opened a can of worms...

7. Mommy did you know that when Tigers have babies....they come out of their butt and hang from umbilical cords...(Me) I don't think they come out of the butt?? Yes they do I saw it on Animal Channel and it was definitely from the butt what else is under the tail?...

Not to self....NO MORE ANIMAL CHANNEL!

6. The big dipper is not as easy to explain as most people think.

5. Nic is a monster to sleep beside...I think I lost more than one handful of hair!

4. The sounds that you hear in your backyard can lead your imagination to a whole new world that can actually freak you out a bit!

3. My kids know all the words by heart to the Phineaus and Ferb disney cartoon theme song..(that was my lullaby)

2. Even though it seems like a good idea to leave the rain cover off so you can stare up at th stars through screened in roof of the tent....When it rains at 5:30am.....It really wasn't such a good idea!

and the most fascinating.....

1. I love my family so much! They are my heart and soul and the only reason why I breathe...You don't have to spend any money just pitch and tent in the back yard and let the good times and laughter roll!! L.O.V.E = T.I.M.E not money!