Friday, October 23, 2009

Coffee.....The honesty drug!

In honor of the "Blissful Benefit" here is my Coffee Post!

Have you ever just sat back and wondered what it is about a steamy hot brew in your cup made to perfection has in common with women and honesty?? I cant tell you how many times I have had a wife, mother, friend, neighbor at my table or on my front porch with a cup of coffee and solitude and TO MUCH INFORMATION! I have learned more about people over coffee than I have over Miller Lite...

So this is what I have learned over my cups of coffee.....

Women love to talk about sex....I thought this was a man thing but I have learned more from women and coffee than I have from experience and sex ed! I seriously don't need to know your husbands favorite position. But I do think its awesome that you steal the batteries out of your kids toys and then replace them before they wake up in the morning.

Women are under appreciated....Yes I do believe that husbands and children think there is a magic fairy that puts their clothes in the dresser. yes I do think that husband would fall to their knees and beg if you just stopped doing everything you do. YES, I do often feel the same dang way. This is when coffee helps you not feel so alone in the world. best part Coffee then helps women plot. Those are stories for another day....

Desperate Housewives do exist.....If you are having an affair...keep it to yourself! Especially if it is with a married friends husband! HELLO...Please exit my porch and leave your coffee....Home wreckers are not welcomed here.

Your best friends are formed over coffee.....When you can sit back and relax and enjoy the fresh breeze of the outdoor with your girl friend and laugh till coffee pours out of your nose!!! Those are the moments I LOVE!

The family that you think is perfect...ummm not so much....Have you had the family that seems like the Cleavers. Ask the Mother/Wife to join you over that cup of coffee..You will soon find out her perfection is a curtain over a drug addict son, promiscuous daughter, cheating husband, and anxiety medication. You bring out the tissues and think CRAP....I just wanted to hang out.

The friend you think is a friend is not really a friend..This would be the friend that you invite over that shares in detail all the stories above with names dates and locations of those events. My coffee is not for gossip its for fun and relaxation....you stupid B&t#h now I am up tight because I think I shared some information with you that EVERYONE probably now knows! CRAP!


I do love some gossip but the hurtful things should remain unsaid but for some reason you give a women a cup of coffee and its like the truthometor goes NUTS and you are now sitting in awkward silence....sipping your coffee....wondering ummmmmm when are you leaving exactly!


So to all of you sex addict, under appreciated, Desperate home wreckers, Best friends, One step away from level 5 Mothers and Wives out there raise your cup of coffee, smell it, taste it, enjoy it and know the day will go on and the world will not stop spinning so for that brief moment of pure joy.......drink up!

6 comments:

  1. You are right coffee will cause women to overshare. But that's ok with me. I like knowing things that I can't tell anyone else. Not sure what it is about being the "secret keeper" that gives me a high. But if I ever decide to write a book...

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  2. FYI...coffee coming out of your noses burns like Hell :)

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  3. I order tea but the effect is the same.

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  4. Thanks blissfully caffeinated! Welcome back! and glad all is well!

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