I seriously couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!!!!
So it all started with Bri (she is 9) telling me this morning about a little girl in her grade who pulled up her skirt and sat on a little boy. She was baffled to why someone would do this (god I love innocence) and I told her that not everyone is raised the same way. I told her all that matters is that she doesn't pull her skirt up and sit on a boy until she is married. She replied, Why? I told her it was "Gods Law" I didn't know what the heck to say I told her that girls should respect themselves and if boys respected them then they would also wait until they got married to let her pull up her skirt! This was by far the most awkward moment of my WHOLE life. I haven't had "The talk" yet I am just not ready.
So the morning progresses and I can see that Bri is pondering on something. You know that look children have when they think they have something figured out and then they just are not sure enough to ask.....Well then here it comes
Bri- Mommy I was born February 2000 right???
Me- yes you were (me secretly shitting myself)
Bri- well your picture on the desk of you and daddy getting married says July 29, 2000
Me-(inside head I'm yelling my holy f*ck ) quietly answering ummmmm yeah
Bri- February is BEFORE July!!!
Me- (DAMN YOU EDUCATION DAMN YOU she was bound to figure it out sometime or another) Yes it is (and here it comes)
Bri- MOMMY YOU PULLED YOUR SKIRT UP BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED!!!!!!!!
Me- I replied- ashamed and embarrassed ----Yes Yes I did!
Bri-SO YOU BROKE GODS LAW
Me- Yes I have to go to court when I go to heaven and defend myself to the Good ole Lord himself. I may even go to God jail for a bit be he is very forgiving and I already asked for his forgiveness and I am sure he forgave me!
Bri-Ha better you then me
Gosh I love kids
Then into tonight......
Sitting in the drive through at Burger King Nic informs me that the moon is broken! I said buddy what are you talking about....He said look the moon is broken...I looked and tonight is the fingernail moon when I said that Shay corrected me..."No mom that's a crescent moon" whatever moons a moon a moon!!!
Nic was a inquisitive little turd tonight. As we were driving home from Burger King Nic was staring out the front of the van looking at the car in front of me. Just then....
Nic-Why are you chasing cars?
Nic-Why are you chasing Cars?
Me-I'm not chasing cars Nic I am driving they just happen to be in front and driving in the same direction! I'm not chasing cars LOL
Never a dull moment with me and my clan!